I wonder if it is a good thing or not to have standards. My colleagues and I have been getting more and more disappointed with the standards within the place I work. It's funny really. I can moan just as much about what seem like strict and at time ridiculous standards. But recently I have been noticing that our workplace is becoming quite "tacky". Attitudes are slack and boundaries are very flimsy it seems. It cuts across dress codes, employee to client relationships seeming blurred, appropriateness within the building and the grounds, staff moans being publicly broadcast in preference to assisting a client standing waiting, and a management team with little decorum publicly, a director who lets everyone and anyone do what they want, a facilities manager who has no clinical awareness and doesn't consult, a clinical manager who is scared to come out of his office and a nursing manager who all the nurses despise because of his laziness and lack of direction.
It would not have been like this with FS there.
It is good working with someone who is not afraid to put all our little observations to the senior management. I felt really angry when I went upstairs and I learnt how a manager and her staff member were mocking something that actually seems to me quite inappropriate and unsafe activities. Furthermore, something that was sent in confidence had been shared with other levels of the management team. Despite liking the person very much I stuck to my boundaries and principles. I was pleased with myself. I did not falter and corrected the misinformation that was being used as a joke and making a mockery. It further disappointed me, I recognised my anger. I did not react but responded with dignity. And then with a cha-cha heel turn and a flurry of petticoats I said however this is the P ..... and walked away smiling and very light-hearted. One of the people involved called me later just for chats. That does happen but I think it was interesting we didn't mention work at all. I have a lost of respect for this person.
It is pleasing though that I can let go and not hold resentments. I have opinions. I feel a little disappointed that in my need to share my thoughts I shared them with my other friend and colleague. I am not sure really where to share about it as a lot of people I know know the person. And I do not want to appear to be gossiping.
Writing helps a little but sometimes it's good to get feedback. I wonder if the Dalai Llama who meets and speaks without prejudice discovers things about people he doesn't like so much. He must do, he's human. Then I wonder what he does with that. I am looking at it rather than holding on to it.
I have seen someone who is so so ambitious and yet is disrespectful and too playful. There is a lot of back-bitching. I also someone who passes the buck with responsibility. To be honest I don't see a professional manager, I see an immature worker. Which makes sense as she has had very little work experience. I do think it's very unprofessional to be flirting so openly with her boss. I know the details. There is an air of superiority or something, I am not quite sure but certainly a disrespect or lack of understanding of different agendas. A good manager is able to take an overview and that is certainly not evident. Similarly, a manager doesn't bitch about other people with anyone, friends or not. I have learnt from seeing hos ugly this appears and adjusted this myself. If I have something to say about anyone I report it as a concern or I speak with the person. And I can speak with love in my heart.
It's all just people being people who give me illuminating reflection. Thank you people.
The phone just rang and excitedly I thought it was my dad arranging to meet up for lunch. It was my dad. But he was calling to say that he cannot meet for lunch (again). I am disappointed. He told me that during the night his wife was taken ill and they had to go to the hospital. They didn't get home until 4 am so he is feeling dreadful and tired. I enquired what had happened and how she is. I am ashamed to say I don't care too much. I wish I didn't have this side to me. However, I was able to put that aside and not sound gleeful. I am disappointed though. And I do wonder if he is truthful. I just have to take what is said as truth and as usual the truth will be revealed. I am scared that he is not being entirely truthful about his own health and or ability to get out and about. He has been unwell he told me and been hospitalised so it would not be a surprise if actually he is just not feeling able to travel. It hurts a lot that I cannot go there and visit. It's still all a mess. However I am less messed up about it and more accepting. It is not me that's the problem I have realised. I am OK as me. I have faults and that I know oh so well. But as a person I am not a problem. It is him that has issues and is still stuck deep in them. I pray for him to find some freedom within himself before he dies and have some time to enjoy that freedom. I am careful what I wish for because that freedom of course could be minutes. I would love it if there could be plenty of time. I wish to have peace of mind for him, for Theresa and between him and I.
Fascinating to look at it like this.
Well I will need to go into town today. I have so much studying to get done.
I realised that I need to start actually loving my body instead of disrespecting and finding fault all the time. I do not dress it well and that makes me dislike it even more. I try to hide it. I just need some help in finding clothes that suit my shape. I need HELP!!!! Oh and money ha ha and that is not available so actually I can make do with what I have after all. I have no style - boo hoo.
There was this situation with another colleague this week - did I write about it already or have I spoken so much about it that it feels like it's out of my system?
Anyhow I feel pleased really as something that was made so personal is something I realise is not at all anything to do with me and is all the other persons issues that were offloaded onto me. I was able to withdraw, keep my mouth shut and carry on. I am not sure how things will go forward. It's yet another person I realise that I can keep a certain distance from. I have always known it but other peoples closeness makes me doubt my judgement.
It's wonderful having my friend back from Hungary. He is like a breath of fresh air. We will meet after work on Thursday and I can hear all about his new love. I am planning a trip to Transylvania with him. Well Budapest first this year and then Transylvania next. I feel blessed to have many friends. And I am feeling better about simply being me today. I need very little.
I am planning my trip to Norway to visit my friend there. And then Spain to visit my lovely R and family then onto another friend who will hopefully coincide dates with a Buddhist retreat at her finca.
Excellent winter plans and after study relaxation. Then I need to get on with my accreditation as well.
It would be so nice if something became available offering more local work. I am tired of the journey and the cost.
Right then ........... what else shall I offload here? What else is floating around my thoughts with the potential to trouble?
Studying - I am so not disciplined enough. I think it's because I am always so tired. I find the information so so interesting. When I get my head into the book I am amazed and thrilled. But I am also so tired.
I have time today and tomorrow. I need a visit into town for LouLou's pills and collect my camera - that oh stoppid me left at Bentley's Oyster Bar last Sunday. My friends and I visited the Royal Academy for the Hungarian photographers exhibition. Oh my! How stunned I was. And fascinated that there were no photographers from elsewhere around the world to compare with their creativity and skilled photography. I think I have written about this ...
OK OK it's now gone 10 am. Oh S hasn't yet got my books signed by her friend and one is an outstanding birthday present for my friend. DOH! I must chase that up with her.
There are quite a number of people I am wary about. Yet there are many many others that are just easy and lovely for me to be around. Interesting. How much of a hard time I give myself for these kind of thoughts.
Do other people just feel at ease with everyone and accept. I do accept but with caution I suppose. Aware that at any time these people can change - with the wind and I usually hurt. I am a very sensitive person I realise. All I need though is some time and then I can start healing from the hurt that I feel.
Bliss
xx
It would not have been like this with FS there.
It is good working with someone who is not afraid to put all our little observations to the senior management. I felt really angry when I went upstairs and I learnt how a manager and her staff member were mocking something that actually seems to me quite inappropriate and unsafe activities. Furthermore, something that was sent in confidence had been shared with other levels of the management team. Despite liking the person very much I stuck to my boundaries and principles. I was pleased with myself. I did not falter and corrected the misinformation that was being used as a joke and making a mockery. It further disappointed me, I recognised my anger. I did not react but responded with dignity. And then with a cha-cha heel turn and a flurry of petticoats I said however this is the P ..... and walked away smiling and very light-hearted. One of the people involved called me later just for chats. That does happen but I think it was interesting we didn't mention work at all. I have a lost of respect for this person.
It is pleasing though that I can let go and not hold resentments. I have opinions. I feel a little disappointed that in my need to share my thoughts I shared them with my other friend and colleague. I am not sure really where to share about it as a lot of people I know know the person. And I do not want to appear to be gossiping.
Writing helps a little but sometimes it's good to get feedback. I wonder if the Dalai Llama who meets and speaks without prejudice discovers things about people he doesn't like so much. He must do, he's human. Then I wonder what he does with that. I am looking at it rather than holding on to it.
I have seen someone who is so so ambitious and yet is disrespectful and too playful. There is a lot of back-bitching. I also someone who passes the buck with responsibility. To be honest I don't see a professional manager, I see an immature worker. Which makes sense as she has had very little work experience. I do think it's very unprofessional to be flirting so openly with her boss. I know the details. There is an air of superiority or something, I am not quite sure but certainly a disrespect or lack of understanding of different agendas. A good manager is able to take an overview and that is certainly not evident. Similarly, a manager doesn't bitch about other people with anyone, friends or not. I have learnt from seeing hos ugly this appears and adjusted this myself. If I have something to say about anyone I report it as a concern or I speak with the person. And I can speak with love in my heart.
It's all just people being people who give me illuminating reflection. Thank you people.
The phone just rang and excitedly I thought it was my dad arranging to meet up for lunch. It was my dad. But he was calling to say that he cannot meet for lunch (again). I am disappointed. He told me that during the night his wife was taken ill and they had to go to the hospital. They didn't get home until 4 am so he is feeling dreadful and tired. I enquired what had happened and how she is. I am ashamed to say I don't care too much. I wish I didn't have this side to me. However, I was able to put that aside and not sound gleeful. I am disappointed though. And I do wonder if he is truthful. I just have to take what is said as truth and as usual the truth will be revealed. I am scared that he is not being entirely truthful about his own health and or ability to get out and about. He has been unwell he told me and been hospitalised so it would not be a surprise if actually he is just not feeling able to travel. It hurts a lot that I cannot go there and visit. It's still all a mess. However I am less messed up about it and more accepting. It is not me that's the problem I have realised. I am OK as me. I have faults and that I know oh so well. But as a person I am not a problem. It is him that has issues and is still stuck deep in them. I pray for him to find some freedom within himself before he dies and have some time to enjoy that freedom. I am careful what I wish for because that freedom of course could be minutes. I would love it if there could be plenty of time. I wish to have peace of mind for him, for Theresa and between him and I.
Fascinating to look at it like this.
Well I will need to go into town today. I have so much studying to get done.
I realised that I need to start actually loving my body instead of disrespecting and finding fault all the time. I do not dress it well and that makes me dislike it even more. I try to hide it. I just need some help in finding clothes that suit my shape. I need HELP!!!! Oh and money ha ha and that is not available so actually I can make do with what I have after all. I have no style - boo hoo.
There was this situation with another colleague this week - did I write about it already or have I spoken so much about it that it feels like it's out of my system?
Anyhow I feel pleased really as something that was made so personal is something I realise is not at all anything to do with me and is all the other persons issues that were offloaded onto me. I was able to withdraw, keep my mouth shut and carry on. I am not sure how things will go forward. It's yet another person I realise that I can keep a certain distance from. I have always known it but other peoples closeness makes me doubt my judgement.
It's wonderful having my friend back from Hungary. He is like a breath of fresh air. We will meet after work on Thursday and I can hear all about his new love. I am planning a trip to Transylvania with him. Well Budapest first this year and then Transylvania next. I feel blessed to have many friends. And I am feeling better about simply being me today. I need very little.
I am planning my trip to Norway to visit my friend there. And then Spain to visit my lovely R and family then onto another friend who will hopefully coincide dates with a Buddhist retreat at her finca.
Excellent winter plans and after study relaxation. Then I need to get on with my accreditation as well.
It would be so nice if something became available offering more local work. I am tired of the journey and the cost.
Right then ........... what else shall I offload here? What else is floating around my thoughts with the potential to trouble?
Studying - I am so not disciplined enough. I think it's because I am always so tired. I find the information so so interesting. When I get my head into the book I am amazed and thrilled. But I am also so tired.
I have time today and tomorrow. I need a visit into town for LouLou's pills and collect my camera - that oh stoppid me left at Bentley's Oyster Bar last Sunday. My friends and I visited the Royal Academy for the Hungarian photographers exhibition. Oh my! How stunned I was. And fascinated that there were no photographers from elsewhere around the world to compare with their creativity and skilled photography. I think I have written about this ...
OK OK it's now gone 10 am. Oh S hasn't yet got my books signed by her friend and one is an outstanding birthday present for my friend. DOH! I must chase that up with her.
There are quite a number of people I am wary about. Yet there are many many others that are just easy and lovely for me to be around. Interesting. How much of a hard time I give myself for these kind of thoughts.
Do other people just feel at ease with everyone and accept. I do accept but with caution I suppose. Aware that at any time these people can change - with the wind and I usually hurt. I am a very sensitive person I realise. All I need though is some time and then I can start healing from the hurt that I feel.
Bliss
xx
