A Wash of Grief - do miss the good bits

I was just listening to this and it brought on the grief - missing the things that I thought the relationship was - and it wasn't after all. Sad it didn't work. And this is the feeling of loss I feel that comes from somewhere deep within - it is odd and untenable. I think it is linked with hormones!! I do feel physically different this afternoon - bloated and hot flushes occurring. With it comes an emotional change of overpowering enormity and deep deep sadness that seems inexplicable. It is so sudden. It is so weird!
It does not detract from the fact that I am sad that a relationship I hoped for didn't work out and he is off continuing with other women and with that I assume he does not have the feelings - he probably had too much of this with the breakdown of his marriageg and this is his escape from that??? I don't know and never will because he was not able to be honest maybe not aware - who knows. The full truth will never be known. And that is when this deep deep feeling attaches to something gone from the past - my mum, my childhood, people who have past through, my old career, old relationships.... so weird.

Before It's Too Late lyricsSongwriters: Rzeznik, John;
I wandered through fiction to look for the truth
Buried beneath all the lies
And I stood at a distance to feel who you are
Hiding myself in your eyes

And hold on before it's too late
We'll run 'til we leave this behind
Don't fall, just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

And the risk that might break you
Is the one that would save
A life you don't live is still lost

So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real 'til it's gone

And hold on before it's too late
We'll run 'til we leave this behind
Don't fall, just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

So live like you mean it
Love 'til you feel it
It's all that we need in our lives

So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real 'til it's gone

Hold on before it's too late
We'll run 'til we leave this behind
Don't fall, just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

And hold on before it's too late
We'll run 'til we leave this behind
Don't fall, just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives
It's all that we need in our lives
It's all that I need in my life