Some lines from Rigoletto - Hugo or Verdi ?? - not sure but incredible insight. Opera is such an emotive way to witness a story. An experience to behold an evening I shall never forget.
I really nearly cried during Rigoletto's loss. A sadness so deep, a lifetime of it. The twisted and cruel attitude that the world met of him seemed I thought his only defence to protect his tenderness, his vulnerability. And he kept his beloved daughter Gilda hidden from the world who in the end became his Achilles heel. Secrets and lies - that's the crime.
Secrets the destructive force - the crime and the punishment. Honesty and openness can overscome all. I realise more and more that understanding what honesty and opennes actually is, does not come easily. I thought I was honest until I was shown. Poor Rigoletto, his world was shrouded in secrecy and deception.
What an opening scene - an orgy. Women being being, bare breasts and hussies. Men with men. Sex and debauchery. A Duke with long forgotten principles - debauched with excess. The slave in me was excited by the demands on the women ..
The Royal Opera House, Rigoletto -
The first time -
the awe, the auditorium,
the colours, the glory,
the audience, the fervour,
the moods, the posing,
the debauchery, the excess,
the sounds, the story,
the emotion, the fury,
the fantasy, the words,
the intent, the sorrow,
the end.
Master allowed me to keep in contact with him through the evening. This was one of those occasions where the slave in me was less prominent. I was more like an excited child.
P was so generous not allowing to pay for anything all evening. It was an expensive evening for him.
It was interesting observing him sort of making a presence in the gay environment but how the hell does he take the next step to be socialising freely with other gay men. He is more refined than purely seeking out sexual experiences.
The front of house manager in the restaurant became quite an attractive feature. Good physique, nice looking. P seemed more interested in a much prettier style. Interesting. Funny sitting there picking out men but at least he was active in looking and talking about it.
I did not feel at all disloyal to Master. I was not looking with any desire. There didn't seem to be anything wrong in observing attractive men or elements of them that were appealing. Maybe a way they carried themselves. Equally seeing unattractive behaviours or features.
Furthermore, I kept Master informed throughout my evening. My journey there, sitting in the auditorium, the meal afterwards.
Master asked me to contact him when I got home. I was so pleased he wanted this of me. I sent him a message and squealed with delight when he responded. It was the early hours of the morning. I was afraid I had woken him but he assured me this alright as he had asked me to let him know when I was home.
I crept into bed pretending not to want to wake him and was delighted when he stirred. How I wanted him to touch me, hold me. He sleepily paid attention to me and smiled but clearly wanted to return into his slumber. I loved him deeply and snuggled into him, slowing into his peaceful breathing...... and fell asleep.
Master introduced me to Wild Ride. Master seems to subtly drop new sources of erotica. Wild Ride writes seductively. More poetically than simple comments. I like his choice of pictures very often.
http://ridingwild.tumblr.com/page/1
Masters requirement of me when visiting the toilet is an act of arousal throughout the day. Wild Ride and Just a Little Bit have also been pathways to maintain sexual excitement.
A lot of today has been plain old getting on with things. Supposedly studying, a nice walk friends. And then I returned home. Toilet requirements and online erotica - I can be brought into control within seconds. God! It's good. God! It's surprising.
The assassin asked Rigoletto the name of the hit - "I'll tell you his name. His name is crime and my name is punishment".
The crime he lived was wanting women, more and more women. Loving sex with any woman he could take.
I can feel my heart hurting today with that thought. I find it so interesting that on some days I am stronger and ready to think of Master with any women he wishes to have. Remembering that I have my place in his heart too. Then other days I am less tolerant of the idea. When I can get back into sexual arousal then I am once again better able to accept this possibility. My insecurity quietens again and I am back in my place.
I am yet to understand this fully.
As I allowed myself a glimpse as Wild Ride I therefore found myself calming and getting wet. Becoming more and more desiring of Master. His daily choices none of my business. Grateful that he wants any time with me at all. Am I naughty viewing this pages? Should I have permission from Master? It is wrong to view this and be stimulated so easily. What else could I do to allway my insecurities when this works so completely?
I am excited as well as curious about Master's knowledge of such erotica and the way in which he introduces it to me. Does he know what he leads me into? He says that it is all new discoveries for him too.
He says he will summon me this evening. God I am waiting for him. I am wet and full of desire. I feel guilty of this too as he might think that all I ever do is get aroused. I make myself ready for him should he want me at anytime.
My arousal can easily drive me away from every day things that I need to get done. I need to study. I need to study. I need to study. I enjoyed walking with A and co. plus the doggies. Sharing with whomever would listen about my joy of being introlduced to the Opera.
Patiently awaiting Master. Wondering what he has been doing but no longer trying to control that with angst.
Trying to make sense of this path I am currently journeying through.
Hoping some day people will have suggestions to my questions.
Bliss
I really nearly cried during Rigoletto's loss. A sadness so deep, a lifetime of it. The twisted and cruel attitude that the world met of him seemed I thought his only defence to protect his tenderness, his vulnerability. And he kept his beloved daughter Gilda hidden from the world who in the end became his Achilles heel. Secrets and lies - that's the crime.
Secrets the destructive force - the crime and the punishment. Honesty and openness can overscome all. I realise more and more that understanding what honesty and opennes actually is, does not come easily. I thought I was honest until I was shown. Poor Rigoletto, his world was shrouded in secrecy and deception.
What an opening scene - an orgy. Women being being, bare breasts and hussies. Men with men. Sex and debauchery. A Duke with long forgotten principles - debauched with excess. The slave in me was excited by the demands on the women ..
The Royal Opera House, Rigoletto -
The first time -
the awe, the auditorium,
the colours, the glory,
the audience, the fervour,
the moods, the posing,
the debauchery, the excess,
the sounds, the story,
the emotion, the fury,
the fantasy, the words,
the intent, the sorrow,
the end.
Master allowed me to keep in contact with him through the evening. This was one of those occasions where the slave in me was less prominent. I was more like an excited child.
P was so generous not allowing to pay for anything all evening. It was an expensive evening for him.
It was interesting observing him sort of making a presence in the gay environment but how the hell does he take the next step to be socialising freely with other gay men. He is more refined than purely seeking out sexual experiences.
The front of house manager in the restaurant became quite an attractive feature. Good physique, nice looking. P seemed more interested in a much prettier style. Interesting. Funny sitting there picking out men but at least he was active in looking and talking about it.
I did not feel at all disloyal to Master. I was not looking with any desire. There didn't seem to be anything wrong in observing attractive men or elements of them that were appealing. Maybe a way they carried themselves. Equally seeing unattractive behaviours or features.
Furthermore, I kept Master informed throughout my evening. My journey there, sitting in the auditorium, the meal afterwards.
Master asked me to contact him when I got home. I was so pleased he wanted this of me. I sent him a message and squealed with delight when he responded. It was the early hours of the morning. I was afraid I had woken him but he assured me this alright as he had asked me to let him know when I was home.
I crept into bed pretending not to want to wake him and was delighted when he stirred. How I wanted him to touch me, hold me. He sleepily paid attention to me and smiled but clearly wanted to return into his slumber. I loved him deeply and snuggled into him, slowing into his peaceful breathing...... and fell asleep.
Master introduced me to Wild Ride. Master seems to subtly drop new sources of erotica. Wild Ride writes seductively. More poetically than simple comments. I like his choice of pictures very often.
http://ridingwild.tumblr.com/page/1
Masters requirement of me when visiting the toilet is an act of arousal throughout the day. Wild Ride and Just a Little Bit have also been pathways to maintain sexual excitement.
A lot of today has been plain old getting on with things. Supposedly studying, a nice walk friends. And then I returned home. Toilet requirements and online erotica - I can be brought into control within seconds. God! It's good. God! It's surprising.
The assassin asked Rigoletto the name of the hit - "I'll tell you his name. His name is crime and my name is punishment".
The crime he lived was wanting women, more and more women. Loving sex with any woman he could take.
I can feel my heart hurting today with that thought. I find it so interesting that on some days I am stronger and ready to think of Master with any women he wishes to have. Remembering that I have my place in his heart too. Then other days I am less tolerant of the idea. When I can get back into sexual arousal then I am once again better able to accept this possibility. My insecurity quietens again and I am back in my place.
I am yet to understand this fully.
As I allowed myself a glimpse as Wild Ride I therefore found myself calming and getting wet. Becoming more and more desiring of Master. His daily choices none of my business. Grateful that he wants any time with me at all. Am I naughty viewing this pages? Should I have permission from Master? It is wrong to view this and be stimulated so easily. What else could I do to allway my insecurities when this works so completely?
I am excited as well as curious about Master's knowledge of such erotica and the way in which he introduces it to me. Does he know what he leads me into? He says that it is all new discoveries for him too.
He says he will summon me this evening. God I am waiting for him. I am wet and full of desire. I feel guilty of this too as he might think that all I ever do is get aroused. I make myself ready for him should he want me at anytime.
My arousal can easily drive me away from every day things that I need to get done. I need to study. I need to study. I need to study. I enjoyed walking with A and co. plus the doggies. Sharing with whomever would listen about my joy of being introlduced to the Opera.
Patiently awaiting Master. Wondering what he has been doing but no longer trying to control that with angst.
Trying to make sense of this path I am currently journeying through.
Hoping some day people will have suggestions to my questions.
Bliss
