Chris Difford from Squeeze headed up the main band, with Andy Bell, guitarist from Oasis. I don't recall who the female singer was, I'm pretty sure they said the backing singer for Beyoncé.
It was a good evening on a number of levels for me. The music was okay, the fact that I even went was better than okay. In the past I would not have wanted to go because of social nerves and not feeling good enough about myself. I was able to walk around chatting to people, going over to people and saying hello and then moving on. It was amazing how D came over saying she had heard I was there. How amazing is that? It was lovely speaking with AK and her friend V. V is so delightful a person, so friendly and open. CT is 30 years my junior and just sort of hung around with me - love her. I saw some ex clients V,W,S. And then a couple of days later at work my client BM called after a few weeks of silence with a broken ankle. She had been to dinner with S. Somehow that's lovely.
New Years Fay I was like a slug. I didn't want to do anything. It's odd. I used to stay up all hours and yes there would be an effect hut these days I feel so so tired. I'm almost permanently tired these days. It's nice though having days off and being permitted by myself then that I can stay up as late as I want.
Back to work on the Tuesday to have supervision and en get the mailing of the New Years card out. I do t like the card, it's as if we are mocking the drunk. I don't like taking the Mickey out of people.
Supervision was interesting. Both PD and I said that we didn't have any client matters to discuss so jokingly I said why don't we have a group session and PD said he didn't want to. However, it cleverly encase that anyway. I can't remember what started it off. Oh yes PT raised something about my feelings I. Group. My difficulty in facing matters that have arisen with two clients in particular that I've found difficult,t to be straight with and as I talked about it, it was obvious to me that I needed to be more direct and less emotional, fearful.
Then PT asked if there were some little things up my sleeve, to which I said yes and this was when PD raised his issue with me doing things that are off his norm. Basically it is his insecurity that he is blaming me for. And when I spoke he started heatedly saying I was sounding defensive. Thankfully PT stepped in and said in fairness it was him that was sounding defensive. PD became really angry with PT, and actually was angry with me too but refrained from that. PT had not backed him up I. Fact further challenged him. Because basically new a saying I didnt need to change but I did need to keep him informed but the. There is not time tom keep informed. So PT pointed out that he asking of me to do the impossible. It felt demos cent of the LK days. Being blamed for something that was actually someone else's insecurity. And this happend often. PT affirmed me in a way for the experience I'd had at the priory and standing my ground. I expressed my concern for PD as he gradually acknowledged his insecurity. I said that I'm worried and that he needs more than work and home to bed. Work is everything and even his recovery is snot happening. He was kiss ting though by this time. I became tearful for so e reason because I was able to say that he is a good therapist and that it was his insecurity that he needed to deal with and not my therapy that's the issue. He was very kind too saying that he wanted the best and wants me to carry on progressing but he feels left behind. I said how often I come away from group thinking the clients like him better than me but know it's my insecurity and have to deal with that and I'd never want him to change because I can't cope with the way he is. Yet I do feel he is too prescriptive. He tells people what to feel and what to do. That.s not my style and people love him. Yet I do feel he needs to tamper that.
So I want entirely honest. I know he's incredibly stressed. And with the threat of flooding this weekend it's even more of a threat to the business. I'm not sure he would come back from that. I hope that it doesn't flood.
Bliss
Xx
It was a good evening on a number of levels for me. The music was okay, the fact that I even went was better than okay. In the past I would not have wanted to go because of social nerves and not feeling good enough about myself. I was able to walk around chatting to people, going over to people and saying hello and then moving on. It was amazing how D came over saying she had heard I was there. How amazing is that? It was lovely speaking with AK and her friend V. V is so delightful a person, so friendly and open. CT is 30 years my junior and just sort of hung around with me - love her. I saw some ex clients V,W,S. And then a couple of days later at work my client BM called after a few weeks of silence with a broken ankle. She had been to dinner with S. Somehow that's lovely.
New Years Fay I was like a slug. I didn't want to do anything. It's odd. I used to stay up all hours and yes there would be an effect hut these days I feel so so tired. I'm almost permanently tired these days. It's nice though having days off and being permitted by myself then that I can stay up as late as I want.
Back to work on the Tuesday to have supervision and en get the mailing of the New Years card out. I do t like the card, it's as if we are mocking the drunk. I don't like taking the Mickey out of people.
Supervision was interesting. Both PD and I said that we didn't have any client matters to discuss so jokingly I said why don't we have a group session and PD said he didn't want to. However, it cleverly encase that anyway. I can't remember what started it off. Oh yes PT raised something about my feelings I. Group. My difficulty in facing matters that have arisen with two clients in particular that I've found difficult,t to be straight with and as I talked about it, it was obvious to me that I needed to be more direct and less emotional, fearful.
Then PT asked if there were some little things up my sleeve, to which I said yes and this was when PD raised his issue with me doing things that are off his norm. Basically it is his insecurity that he is blaming me for. And when I spoke he started heatedly saying I was sounding defensive. Thankfully PT stepped in and said in fairness it was him that was sounding defensive. PD became really angry with PT, and actually was angry with me too but refrained from that. PT had not backed him up I. Fact further challenged him. Because basically new a saying I didnt need to change but I did need to keep him informed but the. There is not time tom keep informed. So PT pointed out that he asking of me to do the impossible. It felt demos cent of the LK days. Being blamed for something that was actually someone else's insecurity. And this happend often. PT affirmed me in a way for the experience I'd had at the priory and standing my ground. I expressed my concern for PD as he gradually acknowledged his insecurity. I said that I'm worried and that he needs more than work and home to bed. Work is everything and even his recovery is snot happening. He was kiss ting though by this time. I became tearful for so e reason because I was able to say that he is a good therapist and that it was his insecurity that he needed to deal with and not my therapy that's the issue. He was very kind too saying that he wanted the best and wants me to carry on progressing but he feels left behind. I said how often I come away from group thinking the clients like him better than me but know it's my insecurity and have to deal with that and I'd never want him to change because I can't cope with the way he is. Yet I do feel he is too prescriptive. He tells people what to feel and what to do. That.s not my style and people love him. Yet I do feel he needs to tamper that.
So I want entirely honest. I know he's incredibly stressed. And with the threat of flooding this weekend it's even more of a threat to the business. I'm not sure he would come back from that. I hope that it doesn't flood.
Bliss
Xx
