Invisible Friends

The reason old souls enjoy spending time alone, Bliss, is because they never really are.
Much love from your invisible friends,
The Universe

I would love to be better able to sit with my own company and contemplate or meditate in calm and peace. I crave connection with people. Hence I think it was so easy to get absorbed into SL. I never ever had to be alone and sit with a single difficult feeling again.
I was learning as I went along but I am yet to get to a point when I am able to balance being out in the world with quiet in the Universe. I work towards that I think.

Slave training. Straps and ropes.

Master requires me to stroke myself each time I go for a pee. I  described to him this morning what I actually do. I had not asked his permission but had evolved his original instruction. He said I must stroke myself from my arsehole slowly through my slit each time I go. And I must drink water with each cup of coffee I take.

At work it is usually quite rushed but as I am home it was once again very slow.

After peeing I am not to clean myself. I wet my two fingers in my mouth first and then run my fingers very slowly from my arsehole moving so slowly forward. I imagine looking up at Master into his eyes as he looks down on me. This is renders me very vulnerable. Both that I am doing this voluntarily and it leaves me most exposed in this very private act. As I move my fingers forward slowly sometimes a finger slips into the opening of my pussy and I can feel just how wet I am aroused now by the very thought of going for a pee.

I move slowly onto my very erect clit and as my fingers move over my clit it flicks back into place. I cannot help but close my eyes with the sensation at this point.

As I write this I can feel the arousal in my nipples, they are aching with their erection and my clit and pussy are sensitive to every move as I sit here in the chair.

Drinking water was almost a torture as I drink little usually but it is becoming a pleasurable discomfort and going to the toilet is now an instant reflex arousal.

Master wants to watch me. Today he asked for a photo. Despite my problem with photo's - just lack of self esteem I sent him one.

his slave is very much at the forefront of my being right now. I do wonder if it's when Master is more dominant and Masterly generally and I am to be available at all times to meet his needs. Sometimes though I wonder if the slave is more prominent in me and this then arouses Master. Maybe it just alters between us.

Oh my pussy and clit are aching.

I feel embarrassed to be writing this but have committed to recording my experiences. I have years of handwritten journals for reading someday. And now this - which opens up the opportunity for an audience.

Tomorrow I must study more. It is so distracting to be sensual and sexual. Mmmmm mmmmm.

Bliss

Scribblers in Darth Vaders Room- Shibari

By the way, dear Bliss, the world doesn't need fixing.
Neither do you.
And dreaming for more, bigger, and zippier, doesn't mean you can't be happy today.
Tallyho,
The Universe

Everything is just how it's meant to be. Man I don't want to feel painful emotions. Man! Something was seeming amiss. Just the slightest of change and  I can feel it in the air. The problem is distinguishing thereafter my sensitivity and my imagination.

Last evening MAster and I were discussing me as his slave and him as my Master. We spoke of bondage and he referred again to Japanese bondage. It has a name - Shibari I think.
Gosh as we discussed it I felt my arousal. It was a gentle and almost deep and subtle arousal. Somewhere within me not right at the nerve endings in my clit or my pussy. It was deeper. They way we were discussing this. Very relaxed and openly. As I was listening to Master alert to his seeming knowledge of such things. I don;t know if it's personal experience but how fascinating that he has such awareness of these things and brings them to my door.
As he spoke about his desire for me to be bound, I felt his power. He aske dme how I think it would feel. His question then took me into attempting to put myself in this situation. The cold handcuffs on my wrist. I imagined feeling them. The metal on my skin and pressing against the bones in my wrists. I imagined but didn't clarify that I would be cuffed with my hands behind me. I imagined also that I would be naked. I also wondered if he would cuff my ankles too. I didn't ask all this things. Just listened to him and developed these pictures in my mind and tried to imagine how it would feel. I thought about how my arms would ache after a time and then spoke to Master about realising that he would have complete power. He might cuff me and then just leave me and he added yes - it could be for hours. Then he said how he might blindfold me and I wouldn;t know what he was doing and after a slight evocative pause added it might not even be him. Gosh I could feel my submissive self. I don't how to describe that. It's not as if the slave in me disappears now ever but does become quieter submissive to my own controlling daily lifestyle. But with a certain atmoshpere, Master immediately takes control.
I said to Master I realise that he could do anything. Leave me for hours or use my body however he wished. I then thought about the different feelings. I am sure if left for hours with nothing I would become furious and he would still have control. I have no idea how that would be.
I also was aware that the more I share with him the more he gets to know me and takes greater ownership over me. Just writing all of this awakens the sexual response in me. I can be controlled entirely through this very powerful human (and animal) instinct.
I am pleased Master allows me to exist in different ways. He does not try to deaden my mind. But I can see how it s possible to just own me. Totally.

This picture above. Well Master spoek about Japanese bondage and how he wondered how it must feel. Not for himself but how it would feel for me to be in these ropes. Yes I then wondered too. I could imagine the feeling of the ropes all over my body. I have seen photos were the rope passes throught the slit and the Master can then pull on the rope. I can imagine the mix of pain and pleasure. Wow how arousing is that? And how my breasts could be shaped and moulded by the ropes and knots. Again rendered helpless and possible to place legs and arms and body parts in shapes and positions totally within Masters desire.

Again this is all imagination and the arousal creates the desire for this to actually happen. The power Master executes over my imagination. He is so visionary and brings this to my consciousness. I love the experience of consciousness and how cleverly it is combined with bodily desires. Master is a master at this. I wonder if he knows and if it's intentional or if this is actually a discovery by accident with someone like me.
It is a wonder that this slave has met Master. It seems to work perfectly for this slave.


What I consider on a daily basis is how this slave and how I my lovers lover can combine to enjoy both to the fullest. There does seem to be some confliction. I spoke to Shaga and she said she never forgets that the other exists when she is currently more slave or more lover. HOW??????????????

More to write - am revising and avoiding. Exam on Tuesday.SHIT!!!!


I still wish to continue my thoughts on friendship, love, trust, dependability versus Master having women rather than just me. It really doesn't work for me in a lover relationship/ But as Master said last night the imaginary situation is very very arousing. Maybe it's enough to just masticate over imaginary scenarios. I am always then ready for sex. Phew!

Bliss


There must be a bug in the system, Bliss, because according to my records, you've never been told exactly how powerful you are.
Very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very to the ten zenbillion.
K?
The Universe
 
This slave recognises the power of being in the control of Master. Mmmmmmmm