LIsten very carefully idiot!!

T is now in intensive care. My dad said "listen very carefully!", in a condescending and sharp tone. "Do you know what intensive care means?"
"Yes"
"What does it mean then?"
"Exactly that, intensive care. I'm not stupid dad"
Without acknowledging my last comment he explained that T is in a critical condition, in a bed right by the nurses station and condescendingly described that a nurses is station is where the nurses sit. "She managed to slip out and started to take a shower but slipped and has now broken her arm, in two places. I cannot understand ....." and he trailed off.
But he continued "Why can't I get hold of you. I phoned and you were on the other line"
"Look dad, I work very long hours to ensure I have enough money. This means I leave at 6:45 and I get home between 20:00 and 20:30. Why are you angry with me, I don't understand?"
At some point he did say sorry. And then again maybe once or twice more, certainly towards the end of the conversation and even said he felt better for talking all his anger out. His anger with the nurses, the consultants, the errors. I said he must be scared. He said yes in a hurry as if not really saying yes and covering the semi-question semi-posit of a suggestion.
Basically her creatinine levels are at 700. Now he tells me that his are high at 100 and prior to his kidney transplant he repeatedly asked me to remember him slumping into his plate when his creatinine levels were this high. I said yes but to be honest I don't remember that precise detail. I do remember him being so thin and two "death lines" as my mum referred to them, in his neck at the back. I remember him looking pale and very ill indeed. I remember him once saying that all he wanted for Christmas was two good kidneys and me crying.
Anyway this is very high and now she needs an operation on her arm. It seems that she has been given the wrong medication twice. This was first in connection with a heart problem but I'm not sure what the second error was or when it occurred. Is it an error that T slipped out to take a shower. Shouldn't she know better herself? My dad said she was hallucinating at the weekend. He laughed because she thought dad was James Bond and her daughter was the producer filming them. God how I hate that there is this relationship between them. What does it mean about the relation ship with my mum. It seems to invalidate my mum. I can empathise with clients and friends fro divorced families and the complexities of new families. I feel so angry at my mum being eradicated from my perception. People don't care though. They make themselves move on and forget how children are affected. And even as adult children there is an affect.
He talked about his anger with the NHS and how unbelievable the situation is. And finally he said that he felt better. I responded "sometimes it can help to talk even if it doesn't change the situation.
"I think I'll be able to sleep now" he seemed hopeful. And he apologised again. Oh he enquired at that time when it might be easiest to get in contact with me. I reiterated my long days. He asked about the situation at work with the mad boss. Bloody hell I recall a few things JB told me about my dad at work. Completely off the wall. Beating a sales rep up in a doorway and JB needing to stop him. Alarming. My dad has a raging fury inside of him. And I have often been the brunt of him getting it out. That's not acceptable anymore.
It feels good to have stood up for myself. Other than that I have nasty thoughts about T's situation. I feel very sad for her and hope that God will take care of her. The evil part of me is even too difficult to state. I can't believe I will write this as it is so vile. I don't care if she dies. It's also not true. I hope she survives and gets well. I am worried though about my dad. He will find this so troubling to stand and deal with. And at his age I suspect it will knock him. As much as I hate it that he dealt with my mums death easier which is probably not true. Instead of dealing with it he remarried.
I am scared for him and his health. I am scared for him having to exert all this energy when really he needs it simply to stay calm and alive. I am scared of his death when nothing is resolved. And the changes I've made will be all too late.
It hurts deep inside of me. A deep sadness that will never ever leave me.

Me, me, me. My belly feels so full and solid after eating. It's been remarked upon how much food I am eating
4oz protein
6oz vegetable
6oz salad
6oz rice
1 tablespoon dressing
6oz yoghurt
1 fruit
And this is twice a day plus breakfast.
I get so fed up with people then fixing, changing, controlling. All I want them to do is listen. I am intolerant of the stepping in to say well that's too little or too much. It is what it is and I do not people to tell me.

Oh and the feeling of sensationalism is a strange phenomenon. Today I Knaphill I passed police tapes and a number of police vehicles. Later I learnt via PD that there had been a shooting. There is this sort of excitable feeling that I was there and this is national news. It's so strange. All I did was pass by some things. I was inquisitive to know and then when I found out this feeling was there. What is this sensationalism and why does it occur.

Police shoot man in Woking

Press Association

guardian.co.uk, Thursday 26 July 2012 08.04 BST

Armed police and bomb disposal units called to property after reports of man intending to harm himself and others

A man is being treated in hospital after he was shot by police at a property in Surrey.
Armed response units were called to an address in Knaphill, Woking, just after 10pm on Wednesday night following reports that a man was armed and was intending to harm himself and others, Surrey police said.
Bomb disposal experts also attended over concerns that explosives may have been inside the property in Oak Tree Road.
A police cordon was set up and a number of residents were evacuated from their homes.
The man, in his 40s, was later shot at the scene before being taken to St George's hospital in Tooting, police said. It is not known how serious his injuries are.
Another man, in his 30s, was arrested and remains in police custody.
Officers also recovered a firearm from the scene. It has yet to be examined by experts.
Police said they were not looking for anyone else in connection with the incident and have referred the shooting to the Independent Police Complaints Commission.

Bliss
XX

Breivik Trial

Anders Breivik trial: A 10-week ordeal

By Steve Rosenberg BBC News

For the families of his victims, and survivors, the 10-week trial of Anders Breivik has been deeply painful. It's also been a harrowing experience for the journalists.

On 22 July 2011, Anders Breivik killed 77 people.

The next morning I flew from Moscow to Oslo to cover the story. Once in Norway, I drove to the shores of the stunningly beautiful Lake Tirifjorden.

A boatman took me out on the crystal clear waters and we sped towards the tiny island of Utoeya. We couldn't land - there was a police cordon around the island - but we got close enough to see the body bags which the police had yet to remove.

Over the next few days I heard horrific stories from survivors, and witnessed a nation in shock and in mourning.

Nine months later I was back in Oslo, sitting in a courtroom - just two metres away from the man who'd carried out mass murder. It was the first day of his trial.

I was in the front row of the press section; Anders Breivik was sitting with his defence lawyers at a table right in front of me

Everyone in the courtroom that day was staring at Breivik.

I stared too, partly out of disbelief that any human could do what he'd done and, partly, in an attempt to understand what kind of a person this was. Was he insane or simply evil?

I attended the trial again two weeks later; it was another opportunity to watch Breivik close-up.

What I found difficult was connecting the picture in court with the crime. As the smartly-dressed Breivik sat in the dock, responding calmly to prosecutors' questions, he looked and sounded more like an insurance salesman than a mass murderer.

He was trying to convince the court to buy his story that the slaughter had been a political act. When he described his crimes, his voice contained no hint of remorse. And when he listened to others recounting the bloodbath, his face displayed no emotion.

From time to time he would sip water or scribble notes. Most of the time he just stared into space. It was as if Breivik had built a giant wall inside his mind to stop any feelings from squeezing through and making him crumble.

For the families of his victims, and for those who survived his attacks and who've been present in court, this trial has been a deeply painful event.

It has been an emotional experience, too, for many of the journalists covering it. I'll never forget what happened the day Breivik spoke about his cold, calculated killing spree on Utoeya Island.

“The power of words. That's what I'll remember most about this trial”

I'd left the courtroom and was watching his testimony on a large video screen in the courthouse press centre, just along the corridor. Breivik described what he admitted were "gruesome, barbaric acts".

He recalled how his victims had frozen in panic, unable to run, and how he'd calmly reloaded his gun and shot them, and how he'd tricked other young people out of their hiding places, then gunned them down too.

At that moment, I looked around the press centre. There were rows and rows of reporters, their heads buried in their laptops as they hurried to reproduce Breivik's words - and many of them were in tears at what they were having to type.

Words. The power of words. That's what I'll remember most about this trial.

Over 10 weeks, so many terrifying words have been spoken in Courtroom 250; the words of coroners in the 77 autopsy reports; detailed descriptions of how victims were hunted down and shot; words of pain from their families.

Words which journalists covering the trial have had to type, tweet, despatch and broadcast to the world.

It was often the simplest words which proved to be the most upsetting. Like the brief messages from victims' families which followed each coroner's report.

"Daddy, YOU were the best in the world."

Or this one: "She could have done so much for her family, her friends, her country. Now her dreams are buried deep in the soil".

And this message from the relatives of a 15-year-old victim: "She was a cheerful girl, always there for others. She was one of the last people killed on Utoeya. In a mobile telephone call from there she'd told her family how much she loved them."

I found that sometimes words from the Breivik trial would lie in my mind like timebombs - and only later, back at the hotel, or back home, they were detonated - and the full horror of what had been said and what had happened, would hit home.

If they'd had that effect on me, I can hardly begin to imagine what effect those words will have had on those Breivik had tried to kill, and on the families of those he DID murder.

I remember that when the first week of the trial was over, and I'd finished my reporting, I dashed off to the airport to fly back to Moscow.

Everything that day had been such a rush, there hadn't really been time for me to digest the full horror of what Breivik had been saying.

I'd transcribed his words, of course, and reported them. But oddly enough it was only once I'd made it to the airport, passed security and paused, that I was hit by a sickening feeling about what I'd been listening to.

Suddenly I spotted a children's shop with a beautiful display of coloured pencils outside. I walked up to the display and stood there, it must have been five minutes - just looking at this little island of colour and beauty.

Anyone watching me must have thought I was mad. But at that moment I just wanted to experience something nice, something positive, to restore my faith in the world.

Now this trial is over and Norway awaits the final word - the judgement of the Oslo District Court.

Will the judges declare Anders Breivik criminally insane and commit him to long term psychiatric care? Or will they conclude he was mentally competent at the time of the killings and send him to prison?

Either way, Anders Breivik is expected to be locked up for the rest of his life. So does it matter where?

To Breivik it does. He maintains he's sane, he seeks a prison sentence, to burnish his claims that he is a political prisoner.

So that HIS words, against multiculturalism and Muslim immigration, are not dismissed as the words of a madman.

Sex and alcohol

15 March 2012 Last updated at 18:32

Sex-starved fruit flies turn to drink

By Jason Palmer Science and technology reporter, BBC News

 

Male fruit flies that have been rejected by females drink significantly more alcohol than those that have mated freely, scientists say.

In an article in Science, researchers suggest that alcohol stimulates the flies' brains as a "reward" in a similar way to sexual conquest.

The work points to a brain chemical called neuropeptide F, which seems to be regulated by the flies' behaviour.

Human brains have a similar chemical, which may react in a similar way.

The connection between alcohol and this chemical, which in humans is known as neuropeptide Y, has already been noted in studies involving hard-drinking mice.

The new work explores the link between such reward-seeking and the study of social interactions, said the lead author of the report Galit Shohat-Ophir, now of the Howard Hughes Medical Institute in Virginia, US.

"It is thought that reward systems evolved to reinforce behaviours that are important for the survival of both individuals and species, like food consumption and mating," Dr Shohat-Ophir told BBC News.

"Drugs of abuse kind of hijack the same neural pathways used by natural rewards, so we wanted to use alcohol - which is an extreme example of a compound that can affect the reward system - to get into the mechanism of what makes social interaction rewarding for animals."
'Control system'
Working in the laboratory of Ulrike Heberlein at the University of California, San Francisco, Dr Shohat-Ophir and colleagues subjected a number of flies to a wide variety of fates.

In one set of experiments, male flies were put in a box with five virgin females, which were receptive to the males' advances. In another, males were locked up with females that had already mated and which thus roundly rejected the males' attempts at sex.

Offered either their normal food slurry or a version charged with 15% alcohol, the mated males avoided the alcohol, whereas the sexually deprived males went on a comparative bender.

The team then went on a hunt for a chemical that could tie the two parts of this story together, hitting on neuropeptide F (NPF).

In mammals, the "rewarding" brain chemical is called neuropeptide Y

They found that the heavy-drinking rejected males had a lowered level of the chemical, and sated, mated males had an elevated level.

"What we think is that these NPF levels are some kind of 'molecular signature' to the experience," Dr Shohat-Ophir explained.

To show that the NPF is actually responsible for the change rather than just associated with it, the researchers actively manipulated just how much NPF was in the flies' brains.

Those with depressed levels acted like the rejected males, and those with elevated levels behaved like the mated males.

"What this leads us to think is that the fly brain - and presumably also other animals' and human brains - have some kind of a system to control their level of internal reward, that once the internal reward level is down-regulated it will be followed by behaviour that will restore it back," Dr Shohat-Ophir said.

It is tempting, given that humans share a similar brain chemical, to imagine that NPF drives human behaviour as well.

However, in an accompanying article in Science, Troy Zars of the University of Missouri wrote that "anthropomorphising the results from flies is difficult to suppress, but the relevance to human behaviour is obviously not yet established".

Nevertheless, he suggested that the work linked "a rewarding social interaction with a lasting change in behaviour".

"Identifying the NPF system as critical in this linkage offers exciting prospects for determining the molecular and genetic mechanisms of reward and could potentially influence our understanding of the mechanisms of drugs of abuse."

Air ambulance

The tragic news related to the arrival of the air ambulance was revealed to me by V. The call was for a baby. The mother had the baby in bed with her and the baby suffocated apparently. According to V the baby did not survive. That poor woman. I keep trying to send comforting thoughts but they seem to get lost in the breeze.
I still feel really really unwell. Coughing now results in a nasty sandpaper effect in my throat, not to mention very nasty mucus. My nose is runny. I feel giddy when I am walking and my limbs all ache. Furthermore I am feeling hot and cold - a temperature. Still? I want this gone. But it's certainly not going in my time. I want it gone sooner - thank you. x

I feel worse it seems this morning. I have now desire to be writing. So I'm going to stop

Bliss
XX

West Memphis Three are freed

Studying! It's amazing the distractions I can find. Now reading about the release of three boys in Memphis I watched a documentary a few years ago. They are now being freed 18 years later.
I am at least sitting at my desk. How awkward and weird I can feel I am when I go to OU lecture days and weekends. I try to head towards others I see sitting or standing on their own. I have to really muster up so much courage. I can then want so much to make them my friend if I like them but truly I don't usually follow up as actually it's merely a passing encounter. I hate how many people have passed through and gone forever yet can also see how amazing and fortunate it has been to have had these brief encounters. I still hang on to loss and the first time I felt so distraught. A friend when I was about 5 I think - I loved her. And then she went to Germany, her dad was in the army. I felt she had been taken from me. For a long time I was inconsolable. First time I remember the taste of not eating actually. Wow never had remembered that before.
Anyway all that from thinking about the many many people who have come and gone and how sensitive I am and get clingy at the thought of losing them. Yet it is part of being. So my learning today is just that and I don't need to be clingy simply enjoy encounters. Treasure my friends I trust and see what happens next. Nice

These thoughts were initiated when speaking with my friend M who is going to an event on her own today. She was saying yesterday how difficult she finds that. Me too. I have a judgement that I am a billy no mates. I am not sure where that originates from. I think maybe from young friends at junior school mocking one or two people who were then always friendless. It's difficult to know if they were friendless and that's why they got mocked or they were friendless because they got mocked and in selfishness everyone pulled away so as not to get mocked too. Kids are so cruel. I wonder f that saying is true. I don't think kids are cruel naturally. I am just not sure where this type of attitude and behaviour develops from.
When out walking last Sunday with M I noticed a reaction in me when she asked me what I would do if she put a slug down my neck. There was taunting int hat attitude that I found really horrible. And I could feel the child in me. I let the girls tie me up when I was ever so little, maybe 3 or 4. And they left me. I was so ashamed I hid behind the wall and tried to get out of the ropes without shouting for help. I was so upset by them, that people could be so unkind to me. I didn't understand it. Why would they be so nasty to me. It was a similar feeling with M. Why would she do that to me, I am her friend. She didn't of course. I wondered if it is the bullied within siblings becoming that way with others. Not having had siblings I didn't enter into anything like those kind of relationships until I met other kids in the cul de sac. Initially I had my little friend next door and we played. Sometimes it was a little fraught but when isn't any relationship. I don't think it was ever nasty. perhaps I was bossy actually as I was 2 years older and at 4 that is quite a lot. She followed me about until I went to school and then she made new friends in the cul de sac. I felt very left out. Her mum made friends with people mum would not befriend so K met knew and different people. It was these girls that stole my dolls clothes and tied me up. So perhaps there was a reason they behaved this way that my mum saw in the parents? Who knows?
I believe that babies are born with anger but as a motivation to get survive their vulnerability. Maybe anger is the wrong word for those people that associate anger with "bad" stuff. But for me anger is valid, important and not bad. The way people behave in anger can be unpleasant and can escalate into the unacceptable even violence or murder. It is this uncontained anger that grows into rage and this is not healthy. I have learnt so much within my job observing and seeing how by containing people can learn. I have experienced the changes myself. The rage was being cultivated through trauma as a child and the anger that usually ensures that vulnerability is taken care of turned into a coping mechanism of my own. Survival is the name of the species game. We use every resource available. And if the nurturing is ruptured in any way - well there we go the anger gets taken outside.
It's all theory of course but I do see the patterns. I would like to work in an clinical environment where I could research this and continue working directly with clients on the therapeutic side. Clinical psychology and I simply do not have the funding. Or the degree yet. Blimey

Anyway the Memphis 3. Their story grabbed me when I watched the documentary, Paradise Lost. I only saw it about 4 years ago when JB told me about it. I was horrified at the way these young boys were treated in their court case. Yes an horrific murder. 3 little boys murdered in an awful manner. It looked ritualistic. This took place in Robin Hood Hills.
Damien Echols, Jessie Misskelleymonth were freed. Johnny Depp apparently was involved in the ongoing campaign to get their release. If the documentary was accurate there were so many falsities. They were set up it seemed. And there were pointers that the camera crew gave to the police and yet these things were ignored. The documentary, although probably was with the intention of helping their original case, seemed in the end detrimental. I watched it in horror. The unfolding story just screamed to me of the way the police wanted to have someone to blame. These kids were blamed because of their music tastes and the way they dressed. Well particularly Damien who in fact if I remember correctly was slightly older than the other two. And I also thought I found one of them not so bright. They were forced into making a confession. When the case was brought for appeal the documentary crew were not able to get close at all.

So they have been freed ....
I found this report dated 19th August BBC News Canada & USA

'West Memphis Three' freed after 18 years in prison

The three maintain their innocence though they pleaded guilty to win their freedom

Three US men who say they were falsely convicted of murdering three boys have been freed after 18 years in prison.

Damien Echols, Jason Baldwin and Jessie Misskelley were convicted in 1994, but new DNA evidence raised doubts.

The so-called West Memphis Three were backed by celebrities who had raised money for their case.

They were freed from prison on Friday in a deal allowing them to claim innocence while agreeing prosecutors had enough evidence to convict them.

Speaking to reporters after they were freed, Baldwin said he had been reluctant to plead guilty to crimes he did not commit, but said he had wanted to spare Echols the death penalty.
'Satanic rite'
Echols said the release was "overwhelming".

"It's not perfect by any means," he said of the deal. "But it at least brings closure to some areas and some aspects."

Although families of two of the victims had come to believe the trio were innocent, an onlooker shouted "baby killers" as the men walked free from court.

The men were teenagers when they were convicted for the brutal May 1993 murder and mutilation of three eight-year-old boys who were found nude and bound in a ditch in West Memphis in the US state of Arkansas.

John Mark Byers, father of victim Christopher Byers, proclaimed the trio's innocence outside court

Steve Branch and Michael Moore drowned in about two feet (0.6m) of water, and Christopher Byers bled to death, his genitals mutilated and partially removed.

They were arrested after police received a tip that Echols had been seen covered in mud the night the boys disappeared, and Misskelley, 17, gave a surprise confession.

He later recanted and defence lawyers said he inaccurately described many of the details in the case.

In addition, two girls aged 12 and 15 said they had overheard Echols confess to the murders, while divers found a knife in a lake behind Baldwin's parents' house.

Prosecutors introduced a theory that the killings were some sort of satanic rite, and gave evidence they said indicated the three teenagers were part of a cult.

Echols, 18 at the time, was sentenced to death. Baldwin, 16, and Misskelley were sentenced to life in prison.

Decades of litigation ensued, and the trio, who became known as the West Memphis Three, gained celebrity supporters, including Pearl Jam frontman Eddie Vedder, who helped raise money for their legal defence.

They were also the subject of a 1996 HBO television documentary.

The actor Johnny Depp and Natalie Maines, lead singer of the Dixie Chicks, also embraced the trio's cause.

DNA testing conducted between 2005 and 2007 found no evidence linking the three men to the murder, but pointed to the possible presence of others at the scene of the crime.

Defence lawyers also alleged a juror had improperly heard Misskelley's confession.

Meanwhile, the mother of a witness who had testified she heard Echols confess to the murders cast doubt on the truthfulness of that testimony.
'Alford plea'
In the most recent round of appeals, the Arkansas Supreme Court last year ordered an evidentiary hearing to determine whether the DNA evidence should result in a new trial.

On Friday, prosecutor Scott Ellington said a new trial would have been difficult to carry out so long after the crime.

In the move that led to their release from prison, the men pleaded guilty under a so-called Alford plea that allows them to maintain their innocence while acknowledging prosecutors have enough evidence to convict them.

They were given credit for the time they had already served in prison, but remain on parole and could be imprisoned again for up to 21 years if they re-offend.

"Today's proceeding allows the defendants the freedom of speech to say they are innocent, but the fact is, they just pled guilty," Mr Ellington said.

"I strongly believe that the interests of justice have been served today."

Oh it seems that only Damien Echols was on death row! And after this week a man being put to death still proclaiming his innocence it feels me with horror what we humans will do to humans. One of the big debates. A life for a life? But what if it is a mistake? Is it worth killing with the risk of doubt? I think not. I think killing, even when it's in the name of convicting a murderer, is barbaric. I am not sure what the answer is. The more I study about neurology and psychology the less I think there is evil people but I think evil can be cultivated. We all have a responsibility every time someone murders. So convict us all - ha! No way - everyone needs to blame someone else so that the majority don't have to do anything about it.
Mmm I know it's probably too idealistic. I am not sure. Sounds gloomy to me.

I am certain that the father of one of the murdered boys was implicated. Well again if the documentary I watched held truths. John Mark Myers, father of Christopher Myers. I can't remember the exact details but there was knife that would match the wounds on one of the boys whose testicles had been cut off and he had been left to bleed to death. This knife was John Mark's. He agreed it was. And it was fond with blood on. But when the reporters mentioned this to the police they ignored this completely.
Well I trust in the Universal energy and the flow. I don't suppose I understand how it is possible for people to think it is OK to kill others but in the name of law or religion even (wars). But it is how it is. I would stand by my thoughts in any debate unless convinced otherwise. I pray for more wisdom and for humans to keep walking towards becoming humane. Funny how the civilisation feels so uncivilised to me at times. There is an ambiguity I find difficult to deal with. Going with the flow yet there are things I instinctively dislike. I do not campaign loudly. It doesn't mean to me that because I wish to learn how to go with the flow that I need to agree with everything that happens. I would like to speak with a Buddhist monk to ask what they think about this ambiguity. I think I will call the monastery and see if there is a time I can get to sit and talk these queries through and see how they deal with them. There is simplicity for certain. Every time (ha ha that makes it sound like I discuss things with "them" regularly) I have spoken with a monk they have kept things so very very simple. Not avoiding, just simple. They have shared how they have worked through their own suffering and reached a point of contentment. This for me is the same as being aware of emotional responses and behaviours that might be contrasting and evoking difficulty within me and by discussing and thinking and writing and reading gradually I work towards acceptance that initially comes and goes and eventually seem to be more settling. Of course life is so diverse that acceptance can be stirred up once again and there is more to consider and contemplate and perhaps a new acceptance will arrive. What a never ending journey of passion, adventure, awakening and peace. Walking towards the end of the path is a marvel to behold. I feel so at peace and blissful when I can realise this. It comes more often.

Bliss
xx

Breathtaking Opera vs devastating riots

Bizet's Carmen. The Opera premiered in 1875. What a wonderful Opera. I saw a recorded version of a performance at the ROH I think in 2007 but I can't verify this right now.
Carmen was played by Anna Caterina Antonacci

Aha here we are
A Royal Opera House Production
Cast: Anna Caterina Antonacci, Jonas Kaufmann, Ildebrando D'Arcangelo, Norah Amsellem
Stage Director: Francesca Zambello
The Royal Opera Chorus
The Orchestra of the Royal Opera House, Antonio Pappano 2007

I loved the energy of Antonio Pappano conducting his orchestra. And the performances were spectacular. And of course the story.
I laughed watching the push and pull of fickle love and neediness of Carmen. Her power sought through the men. Of course we do not know if she did actually fall in love with the Toreador Escamillo. Don Jose killed her. Her desire for love ended up killing her.
Don Jose also exposed his weakness but accusing her of being accursed. Not much has changed really. Still today men are "in charge" and women are the problem. What evolutionary skewedness. The purpose is that men remain superior and women can be accused as the ruination. Both parties have to take full responsibility for their part for there to be any full reconciliation of this age old segregation.
It just struck me how Don Jose referred to her as the accursed and never taking responsibility for his decisions and choosing to walk away from his mother, his (supposed) love, his commitment to his work. Carmen, was empowered through her sexuality. France was already a Republican state at this time but with stark differences between wealthy and poor. Spain was flourishing at this time considering it was a poorer country anyway. I am not sure of the conflict in Spain that Bizet is referring to.  Perhaps it is simply the differences arising with the Basque societies who I believe were opposed to changed imposed on them. Although Seville is South West Spain.
Ah it was revolutionary time in Spain. In fact it was all going off at that  time. So indeed it was a time of turmoil and differences.

"The story is set in Seville, Spain, around 1820, and concerns the eponymous Carmen, a beautiful gypsy with a fiery temper. Free with her love, she woos the corporal Don José, an inexperienced soldier. Their relationship leads to his rejection of his former love, mutiny against his superior, and joining a gang of smugglers. His jealousy when she turns from him to the bullfighter Escamillo leads him to murder Carmen."

Maybe the setting doesn't really matter. Bizet wrote it late 1800's and set it in early 1800's. He was French writing about Spain. And influence by other literature of those times. So probably it's a mish mash of influences, wars, poverty, sex and love.
Anyway as an opera to view it was wonderful. I was truly spellbound. A beautifully performed play.
I would love to be able to afford to regularly attend the ROH. It's way out of my affordability - the trip to London, £180 per ticket, appropriate clothing etc etc. Oh well. At least I have been once in my lifetime and at a time in my life when I have really been able to appreciate it. And the experience introduced me to more awareness and openness.

How very, very middle class England this all is - :)

My dad called this morning. I think he had forgotten I was supposed to be working at Roehampton today but anyway I am not. He explained how ill his wife is and that a serious decision has to be made with very difficult consequences to her health to be considered whichever decision she makes. He ha an opinion he said. I am not sure how he is emotionally. He wasn't giving anything away. He expressed concern. He was phoning to say that he is taking her home for the weekend and she goes back into hospital on Monday.
I feel dreadful about the way I think. I still have so much resentment about this woman. I am angry with my dad that she has any importance to him at all. I want him only to have care for my mum. The resentment t is huge and I would like and am very very willing to let go of this. I have tried over the years to pray for them to be happy and to have all they they want together and as individuals. But the anger at the loss of my mum still settles with them. How dare she is what I say frequently. And of course this is embroiled with the fury I have felt all these years and undealt with relating to my childhood with my ad. I was a daddy's girl everyone would say and some still think. And actually yes I was the little girl of a disgusting daddy. In some ways he was great, truly great - funny, intelligent (misguided intelligence I would say), loving in a strange kind of a way. He was strong and fit. Yet he was twisted and mean. He was angry and it spilled out everywhere where my mum and I were. Years and years of lifetime with this man and never knowing that I could emotionally, mentally, spiritually get away. I was imprisoned by him and stayed there until recent years. Gosh I wonder how many people die still imprisoned.
But there is the fallout! I am having to re-learn. I oscillate between absolute adoration for him and sadness at the distance between us to hatred and fiery fury - although this lessens as I get more acceptance and forgiveness. And I truly do get more and more.
inheritance". Ha! I have no rights, all I am is his daughter and he has been distanced from me for what seems forever. So why on earth would he leave anything to me. And then I thought I would have to contest the will and fight the widow and daughters who will all have formulated opinions associated with my dads lies blah blah blah. And how I think she has a part in keeping my dad and I apart although in my heart I know that he will have the biggest part in that - his lying will make it necessary to keep me away in case I spurt out a truth that he will have to try and cover up. I don't know of course but I can imagine. And also I thought if she dies he might "want" me a little more. It might be the opportunity for us to get closer again. When my mum died I was estranged even more and then when this woman became apparent (he knew her before - bastard) then it was the biggest edge between us ever. I have so much resentment towards her. Please HP help me to be free of this resentment.
I pray HP for her to get well. I say that through gritted teeth but the caring loving person in me really does wish her well. I cannot imagine how dreadful she feels right now I would not wish that upon anyone. And my dad must be feeling something as well even though he cannot or will not articulate it or even allow it. Her poor daughters as well. My dad would probably be so co-dependent he would be likely to give more away to them if anything dreadful does happen to T.
My mum and I used to plan how we would live together when my dad was dead. We had plans! And it all happened around the wrong way. It was dad who was very ill and my mum seemed OK and yet it was she who became so ill that she died. Death and the loss - so much a part of life but so difficult to deal with.
I am still not afraid of my own death just the way of dying. I welcome my death and get this frigging torture over and done with.
The slow death of gradually losing energy and agility and ability is torture. And how ungrateful am I? Forever it's been like this and I have to be consciously focused on being grateful for the moment and that my needs are more than met. Ha ha. I am too aware and yet not aware at all.
So yes it's all about me again. I even felt guilty that my concern about feeling gleeful was more because I am scared of retribution and I will be made to suffer ten-fold for having such glee at someone else's misfortune. Ugly ugly resentments. And horrid too to admit this to anyone.
I called my friends - M, E, A to try and talk this through with them. M had fix-its. I just needed to be listened to. I listened to her reasoning. How impatient I can be. I listened to her relating but with what sounded like well how do you I have felt kind of attitude. I was talking about the difficulty I have with my dad being with another woman and this seems to be at a cost of my mum. M has that with her mum. I know that and I have it too. She turned it around though in the end to sort of relating. And she came up with fixes like be grateful I am not acting out on it. Of course I am not acting out on it. She said maybe I need therapy. What???? I need to do the work on the resentment and I can do that with Step 4 I do not need therapy for that!!! What I understand from this but am not sure is that it's difficult for her to hear the emotions and thinking. Maybe because she has them herself, maybe she doesn't want me to have to be feeling difficult feelings. I am not sure but it all felt like not allowing me to have my thoughts and feelings. What I am pleased about is that I didn't react. I listened. I could hear my impatience a couple of times an I allowed the subject to be changed onto other things simply because then I didn't have to fight. I was also pleased when she said again about A and I both getting very strong in our opinions and how that impacts on her and for the first time I said that she is the same. I said that I am trying to be more aware and alter my behaviour. And so am glad to be more aware but as yet still blundering in and only realising sometimes afterwards and very occasionally now during. So far I have not had the wherewithal to know before I open my mouth and plunge in. It is about practice though so I am not giving myself a hard time today, simply smiling at little me.

The riots! Well it is horrendous. The criminality is not acceptable. However, I do wonder what the underlying issues are? In my opinion the growing divide in this country, the lack of education - keeping the poor poor by not educating, the free market and Conservatism, the undealt with anger from centuries, the commercialism, and more ....
I am horrified by the frenzied attack by these people. I imagine once the frenzy began it as impossible to tame inside each person en masse. Motives would not be accessible to these people because no one teaches people about these things. We now right from wrong of course. And the thing is injustice seems to be a powerful force that people will cross their own principles especially when it's driven from them when young. The spiral of dissent and descent.



Bliss
XX

Theorizing conspiracies or reality - who do we believe

From Before It's News online 8 July 2011 ....

Bilderberg 2011 Discussion Leaked Via Moles Inside

07 July 2011 16:42:54

PT-1

Understanding the Bilderbergers and their way of thinking and what they are planning!

Also, some hard facts.....and very grim reading! Be warned! See Conclusion. Here's a few extracts........
From Wells Fargo and JP Morgan Chase and beyond, the system is imploding: banks, financial markets, bond markets, housing markets. And now, we can add the United States to the list of bankrupt nations. US dollar has lost 12% of its value in one year. And China, for the first time, has become a net seller of US treasury bonds. What it means is that the bond bubble is about to explode and when it does, take a front row seat and enjoy the fireworks. This is once in a lifetime opportunity.

China´s warning was reiterated at the Bilderberg conference by a first time Chinese delegate, that USG´s planned attack on Pakistan will be interpreted as an act of aggression against Beijing.

The Bilderberg Group is not the end, but the means, to a future One World Company Limited.

The ultimate goal of this nightmare future is to transform Earth into a prison planet by bringing about a single globalised marketplace, controlled by One World Company, financially regulated by a World Bank, and populated by a dumbed down population whose life´s needs will be stripped down to materialism and survival “ work, buy, sex, sleep“ all connected to a global computer that monitors our every move.

And it is becoming easier because the development of telecommunications technology together with profound advances in present-day knowledge and new methods of behavior engineering to manipulate individual conduct are converting what, in other epochs of history, were only evil intentions, into a disturbing new reality.

Each new measure viewed on its own may seem an aberration, but a whole host of changes, as part of an ongoing continuum, constitutes a shift towards total enslavement.
===================================================
BILDERBERG 2011 DISCUSSION LEAKED VIA MOLES INSIDE

By Daniel Estulin of DanielEstulin.com; via Domas Jefferson

The background

In the world of international finance, there are those who steer the events and those who react to the events. While the latter are better known, greater in numbers, and seemingly more powerful, the true power rests with the former. At the centre of the global financial system are the financial oligarchy today represented by the Bilderberg group.

Bilderberg organization is dynamic, in that it changes with the times, absorbs and creates new parts while excreting the remains of the decaying parts. Members come and go, but the system itself has not changed. It is a self-perpetuating system, a virtual spider web of interlocked financial, political, economic and industry interests with the venetian ultramontane fondi model at the centre.

Now, Bilderberg isn´t a secret society. It is not an evil, all-seeing eye or a Jewish-Masonic conspiracy. There is no conspiracy even though a lot of people with their infantile fantasies see it as such. No group of people, and I dont care how powerful they are, sit around the table in dark room, holding hands, staring at a crystal ball, planning the world´s future.

Bilderberg is not a Cartesian fantasy world, in which the isolated intentions of some individuals, instead of the dynamics of social processes, shape the course of history as the movement of evolving ideas and themes over successive generations. It is clinically significant, that today´s more popular varieties of wild-eyed conspiracy theories, reflect the peculiarly pathological style in infantile fantasy associated with the Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and Harry Potter cults. The characteristic form of mental action these cults express, is the magical power of the will, acting outside real physical space-time dimension.

It´s a meeting of people who represent a certain ideology. Bilderberg is a medium of bringing together financial institutions which are the world´s most powerful and most predatory financial interests. And at this time, it is that combination which is the worst enemy of humanity.

Not OWG or NWO as too many people mistakenly believe. Rather, the ideology is of a ONE WORLD COMPANY LIMITED. Back in 1968, at a Bilderberg meeting in Canada, George Ball, the then Under-secretary for Economic Affairs with JFK and Johnson said: Where does one find a legitimate base for the power of corporate management to make decisions that can profoundly affect the economic life of nations to whose governments they have only limited responsibility?

The idea behind each and every Bilderberg meeting is to create what they themselves call THE ARISTOCRACY OF PURPOSE between European and North American elites on the best way to manage the planet. In other words, the creation of a global network of giant cartels, more powerful than any nation on Earth, destined to control the necessities of life of the rest of humanity.

-----------------------

Iraq
One of the key discussion points regarding Iraq centered on the future of the US mission in the country given that the eight-year occupation is coming to an end. Under the heading “What rights do we have in Iraq? Bilderberg delegates discussed whether the USG is entitled to some kind of squatters rights.

For now, this issue is off the charts, but in the foreseeable future the story will undoubtedly get lots of mainstream attention. What concerns everyone involved is the last page, the ending to the Iraqi occupation. If the US military leaves Iraq, something that most Bilderberg delegates do not see plausible, under what conditions and agreements will this be made possible?

As one American delegate reminded his colleagues, as of October 1, 2011, full responsibility for the US presence in Iraq would officially be transferred from the military to the Department of State. Translation: we might well be sold a false bill of good by the mainstream press. USG has no intentions of ever leaving Iraq, even if ownership changes hands.

What one US delegate stated can sum up US position on Iraq: when you think of Iraq, think big. Indeed, to understand US position in the country, one only needs to remember that the US mission in Baghdad is the worlds largest embassy, built for just under $1 billion and comparable in size to the Vatican and visible from space.

One European delegate asked point blank if after eight years of war, anyone can truly say that it was worth the effort. At a staggering cost of trillions of US dollars, over five thousand US lives and over a million innocent Iraqis killed few can admit to the spectacular failure of the mission. With the supposed upcoming transfer of power from the Department of Defense to the Department of State, one is left to wonder exactly what will the US mission be in Iraq beginning in 2012. As another European Bilderberg retorted: “It is anyones guess.

The US delegates pointed to the fact that there is a stable government in the country as a result of a democratically held elections. He was reminded that the initial reason for the invasion had to do with finding and eliminating weapons of mass destruction. The concern for their freedom was an afterthought, said one European. There was also talk of major financial investment in Iraq to jumpstart their weak economy. However, most attendees agreed that the investment was completely self-serving, centered on the US embassy and justifying its existence and costs.

Middle East
Let´s start with the conclusion: As cash for counter-revolution is dolled out by the billions, the future of the great 2011 Arab revolt looks grimmer and grimmer. Bilderberg fully backs draconian repression and perpetual war all across the Persian Gulf and is willingly using its staunch ally, Saudi Arabia to do it bidding. This war will include every nation in the Middle East except for Israel. Saudi Arabia is a strategic partner, not only because it is a repressive Monarchy and a dictatorship, thus unaccountable to an electorate, but also because of their oil as strategic energy reserve.

Instability across the entire Middle East allows Bilderberg an excuse to push oil prices to a $150-180 per barrel. This would put tremendous political pressure on Germany and the European Union on the one hand and on China and its economic and political aspirations on the other.

Keep in mind that no matter how you role the dice, Bilderberg wins.

Back in the summer 2008, oil shot up to $147 a barrel, something I predicted back in May 2005, after the Bilderberg conference in Rottach-Egern where it was decided to manipulate prices to that level by the summer 2008. At the time, JP Morgan was advising the Chinese government that China buy all the physical crude oil because it is going to $200 a barrel. What few people know, is that almost all of the price of oil is pure speculation, manipulated by the Goldman Sachs Commodity Index. Thus, Wall Street controls the oil price irrespective of supply and demand. Rest assured, that this is all part of a long range objective to control not only the oil price but the world financial markets.

If you take a closer look, Saudi Arabia has their fingers in every Middle Eastern pie. Take Egypt. The House of Saud has just given Supreme Military Council leader Field Marshall Tantawi US$4 billion in cash. In Yemen, the Saudis are buying Yemeni tribes with money, in the name of stability in the region. In Bahrain, they are overtly supporting the National Human Rights Organization whose president was appointed by King Hamad bin Isa al-Khalifa in 2010.

From Wikipedia July 2011

The Bilderberg Group, Bilderberg conference, or Bilderberg Club is an annual, unofficial, invitation-only conference of approximately 120 to 140 guests from North America and Western Europe, most of whom are people of influence. About one-third are from government and politics, and two-thirds from finance, industry, labour, education and communications. Meetings are closed to the public and often feature future political leaders shortly before they become household names.
Because of its exclusivity and privacy, the Bilderberg group is accused by conspiracy theorists of being an all powerful secret society fixing the fate of the world behind closed doors for nefarious ends. Critics of Bilderberg conspiracy theories counter that the group is neither a supreme world government nor a mere social club but rather a meeting ground for top executives from the world’s leading multinational corporations and top national political figures to consider jointly the immediate and long-term policies facing the West in order to reach a consensus.

Osama bin Laden dead!

Declan Walsh in Islamabad and Richard Adams in Washington

guardian.co.uk, Monday 2 May 2011 04.00 BST

Osama bin Laden is dead, Obama announces

Osama bin Laden, the mastermind behind al-Qaida, is dead, President Obama announces from the White House

Osama bin Laden, the criminal mastermind behind al-Qaida and the world's most sought-after terrorist since the attacks of 11 September 2001, has been killed by a US operation, President Barack Obama has announced.

In an address to the nation, President Obama said Bin Laden was killed in a "targeted operation" in Abbottabad, a highland town north of Islamabad, last night.
The operation started with an intelligence lead last August, and culminated in an operation involving a "small team of Americans". "After a firefight they killed bin Laden."
None of the Americans was killed. Pakistani co-operation "helped to lead us to him" he said.
Osama's body is in possession of the US, according to the first reports from the US television networks.
As the news spread, crowds gathered outside the gates of the White House in Washington DC, singing the national anthem and cheering.
President Obama made the highly unusual Sunday night live statement to announce the news at around 11.30pm eastern time.
Bin Laden's capture comes eight years to the day that President George Bush declared "mission accomplished" in Iraq. As president, Bush declared he wanted bin Laden "dead or alive" – but it is now the unlikely figure of Barack Obama who has been able to announce the final triumph as US commander-in-chief.
This is a turning point in the global "war on terrorism" that has been waged since 9/11 - and the news will reverberate around the world.
The news comes as an unparalleled boost for US foreign policy, the key aim of which since 2001 has been the disarming and dismemberment of al-Qaida, and coincidentally probably ensures the re-election of Obama in 2012.
As a candidate during the 2008 election campaign, Obama repeatedly vowed: "We will kill Osama bin Laden." And so it has proved.
The Obama statement was scheduled originally for 10.30pm, but the need to inform US congressional leaders caused the delay.
In the Pakistani capital, Islamabad, one western diplomat described the news as a "game changer" – not just for al-Qaida, but also for US foreign policy in Pakistan and Afghanistan, a region embroiled in turmoil and violence since 2001.
"I'm overjoyed," said the diplomat. "But what this exactly means is really not clear."
Some analysts fear bin Laden's death could spark a precipitous US withdrawal from the region, with the war against the Taliban in Afghanistan still unresolved.
It will likely also reconfigure relations with Pakistan, where the CIA is engaged in a controversial assassination campaign against senior al-Qaida figures using Predator and Reaper drones.
"He's dead," said an official with Pakistan's Inter-Services Intelligence, declining to give details other than to say that it was "highly sensitive intelligence operation".
The official said he was "not at liberty" to give further details on the killing, including on reports that Pakistani intelligence was involved in the operation. "We'll release more information later this morning," he said.
Abbottabad is about two hours' drive north of Islamabad, in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province. It is not part of the tribal belt, where the CIA drone strike campaign has been concentrated, but is home to the Pakistan military's main training institution, the Pakistan Military Academy at Kakul.
The fact that bin Laden was killed outside the tribal belt in Pakistan will raise questions about how the six-foot four-inch fugitive, one of the most famous faces in the world, managed to escape justice for so long.
Pakistan's intelligence services have largely co-operated with the US in capturing al-Qaida fugitives - some of the most notorious figures seized since 2001 were caught in Pakistan's cities such as the architect of 9/11, Khalid Sheikh Muhammad.
In recent months US military and intelligence officials have publicly complained that the ISI has been assisting the Haqqani network, an al-Qaida-linked militant network that straddles the Pakistan-Afghanistan border.


From me -
My immediate reaction is mixed. I wonder if this man has really been the total force of power. He clearly has been at the helm of whipping up the force in the first place. So he is dead. One man. Is it even him? Well my conspiracy theories all kick off. But what else could this mean - what a scary world we live in. And I so would like a little peace haven away from dependency with the grid. Am I too scared to take the risk? Trust that all will be OK. I would not want to stop the work and learning that I am doing. There are some things that require funds - transport, living costs would still apply. If I could live in a community .... that's another Blog.
I think I feel a little shocked that he is dead. He has been such a big name of blame and yet so inaccessible as a real person - somewhere behind the scenes.
And then all the conspiracy theories purported by Michael Moore Fahrenheit 9/11. There was evidence of liaisons between the Bush family and the bin Laden family. And of course disasters around the world enable the super rich to move in and make even more money.
There is something quite distasteful about the hanging of Saddam Hussein - but then I was silly enough to watch that on You Tube. A kind of morbid fascination. Awful.
What will happen now? Who will the US blame now? What will happen in Afghanistan and Pakistan - someone will be taking over, it is not the end or is it? Could it possibly be?
I pray and hope for peaceful resolutions instead of all this disparity and raging angst.
I am scared for us all
Bliss
XX

Something special - a right Royal occasion

Well of course I watched the Royal wedding today. With a mix of splendour at the wonderful pomp and pageantry and the loveliness of belonging. But that confused bit of me that likes to be separate and a non conformist too - I don't like that I can be easily led to be herded along with the masses. I want to be individual and am afraid if I follow the crowd I will lose a sense of self. This is a lack of self esteem and it's ego all at the same time. I am me, unique and OK. So it's fun to be me amidst my species and observe as we get shivers of joy with the pageantry. I think the Brits do it well. It was a beautiful wedding and I had lots of questions about what was going on in their minds, family members minds and behind the scenes. I guess anyone in the public eye like that raises that interest in me.

I loved the Bishop of London's sermon. So many wonderful things he said ...

Royal wedding: the full text of the Bishop of London's sermon.Right Honourable Dr Richard John Carew Chartres 

29 APRIL 2011

"Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire." So said St Catherine of Siena whose festival day it is today. Marriage is intended to be a way in which man and woman help each other to become what God meant each one to be, their deepest and truest selves.

Many are full of fear for the future of the prospects of our world but the message of the celebrations in this country and far beyond its shores is the right one – this is a joyful day!

It is good that people in every continent are able to share in these celebrations because this is, as every wedding day should be, a day of hope.

In a sense every wedding is a royal wedding with the bride and the groom as king and queen of creation, making a new life together so that life can flow through them into the future.

William and Catherine, you have chosen to be married in the sight of a generous God who so loved the world that he gave himself to us in the person of Jesus Christ. And in the Spirit of this generous God, husband and wife are to give themselves to each another.

A spiritual life grows as love finds its centre beyond ourselves. Faithful and committed relationships offer a door into the mystery of spiritual life in which we discover this; the more we give of self, the richer we become in soul; the more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed.

In marriage we are seeking to bring one another into fuller life. It is of course very hard to wean ourselves away from self-centredness. And people can dream of doing such a thing but the hope should be fulfilled it is necessary a solemn decision that, whatever the difficulties, we are committed to the way of generous love.

You have both made your decision today – “I will” – and by making this new relationship, you have aligned yourselves with what we believe is the way in which life is spiritually evolving, and which will lead to a creative future for the human race.

We stand looking forward to a century which is full of promise and full of peril. Human beings are confronting the question of how to use wisely a power that has been given to us through the discoveries of the last century.

We shall not be converted to the promise of the future by more knowledge, but rather by an increase of loving wisdom and reverence, for life, for the earth and for one another.

Marriage should transform, as husband and wife make one another their work of art. It is possible to transform as long as we do not harbour ambitions to reform our partner. There must be no coercion if the Spirit is to flow; each must give the other space and freedom.

Chaucer, the London poet, sums it up in a pithy phrase: “Whan maistrie [mastery] comth, the God of Love anon, Beteth his wynges, and farewell, he is gon.” As the reality of God has faded from so many lives in the West, there has been a corresponding inflation of expectations that personal relations alone will supply meaning and happiness in life.

This is to load our partner with too great a burden. We are all incomplete: we all need the love which is secure, rather than oppressive, we need mutual forgiveness, to thrive.

As we move towards our partner in love, following the example of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is quickened within us and can increasingly fill our lives with light.

This leads to a family life which offers the best conditions in which the next generation can practise and exchange those gifts which can overcome fear and division and incubate the coming world of the Spirit, whose fruits are love and joy and peace.

I pray that all of us present and the many millions watching this ceremony and sharing in your joy today, will do everything in our power to support and uphold you in your new life.

And I pray that God will bless you in the way of life that you have chosen, that way which is expressed in the prayer that you have composed together in preparation for this day: God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage.

In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy.

Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Well I guess if two people meet that can support transformation and not need reformation and if two people can support each other to be individually who they are meant to be but also who as a couple they are meant to be together - well then it is truly something that will set the world on fire. I really loved these words that the Bishop brought to me today.

 

Osborne Myrtle in Royal Wedding Bouquet

http://myisleofwight.fl1hosting.com/features/osborne-myrtle-in-royal-wedding-bouquet-catherine-middleton-carries-on-a-victorian-tradition

Catherine Middleton carried a sprig of myrtle from Queen Victoria’s Osborne House on the Isle of Wight in her bouquet when she married Prince William today (Friday April 29 2011) at Westminster Abbey.

Carrying-on a tradition which started with the wedding of Queen Victoria’s eldest daughter Princess Victoria, Catherine Middleton’s bouquet contained stems from an original myrtle planted at Osborne in 1845, which still thrives within its sheltered terraced gardens today.
Queen Victoria was given a nosegay containing the myrtle by Prince Albert’s grandmother during a visit to Gotha in Germany in the year when the young married couple bought Osborne House as a family retreat – a sprig from the posy was planted against the terrace walls.
Signifying the innocence of the bride, the myrtle was first carried by Princess Victoria when she married in 1858 and continued with the weddings of her sisters Alice, Helena, Louise and Beatrice.
Queen Victoria married Prince Albert in 1840 after a whirlwind courtship.
The ring which the young bride slipped upon Albert’s finger was engraved with a date etched in both their hearts – October 15, 1839, the day she had found the courage to propose to her suitor. She wrote of the day: “It was a nervous thing to do, but Prince Albert could not possibly have proposed to the Queen of England.”
Visitors to Osborne House today watched the Royal Wedding on a large screen on the lawns of the magnificent Island setting and received a commemorative buttonhole of Osborne myrtle.

Evil afoot at the Bohemian Grove

The Bohemian Group - so the conspiracy theory could be right after all. Apparently a group of men who are some of the wealthiest in the world. What an influential group they are.
Founded in 1872. There are claims that the Manhattan Project (atom bomb) was masterminded by this group.


                                                                       
Their motto - Weaving Spiders Come Not Here - meaning to leave business talk outside. But of course 1 to 1, business will be discussed. The ultimate in networking!

The membership list has included every Republican U.S. president since 1923 (as well as some Democrats), many cabinet officials, directors and CEOs of large corporations including major financial institutions. Major military contractors, oil companies, banks (including the Federal Reserve), utilities (including nuclear power) and national media (broadcast and print) have high-ranking officials as club members or guests.

Writer and journalist William Henry Irwin said of the Grove,

You come upon it suddenly. One step and its glory is over you. There is no perspective; you cannot get far enough away from one of the trees to see it as a whole. There they stand, a world of height above you, their pinnacles hidden by their topmost fringes of branches or lost in the sky

 

I don't know the reliability of the information but if there is any truth at all it is frightening the power such a group could hold over a government. Phew no wonder its a corrupt system

Bliss
XX 

The Marvellous Matter of Discovery

Born Edward James Muggeridge, April 9, 1830(1830-04-09), Kingston upon Thames, England, Died May 8, 1904 (aged 74), Kingston upon Thames, Resting place Woking, Occupation Photographer
Muybridge's The Horse in Motion
A set of Muybridge's photos in motion. Eadweard J. Muybridge (April 9, 1830 - May 8, 1904) was an English photographer, known primarily for his early use of multiple cameras to capture motion, and his zoopraxiscope, a device for projecting motion pictures that pre-dated the celluloid film strip that is still used today.

In 1874, while living in the San Francisco Bay Area, Muybridge discovered that his wife had a lover, a Major Harry Larkyns. On October 17, 1874, he sought out Larkyns; said, "Good evening, Major, my name is Muybridge and here is the answer to the letter you sent my wife"; he then killed the Major with a gunshot.
Muybridge believed Larkyns to be his son’s true father, although, as an adult, he bore a remarkable resemblance to Muybridge. He was put on trial for murder, but was acquitted as a "justifiable homicide." The inquiry interrupted his horse photography experiment, but not his relationship with Stanford, who paid for his criminal defense.
An interesting aspect of Muybridge’s defense was a plea of insanity due to a head injury Muybridge sustained following his stagecoach accident. Friends testified that the accident dramatically changed Muybridge’s personality from genial and pleasant to unstable and erratic. Although the jury dismissed the insanity plea, it is not unlikely that Muybridge did experience emotional changes due to brain damage in the frontal cortex, often associated with traumatic head injuries

Bliss
XX
 
Who's been to Uni today?

Spell of the electric blanket

1954 by Sharon Olds


Then dirt scared me, because of the dirt
he had put on her face. And her training bra
scared me—the newspapers, morning and evening,
kept saying it, training bra,
as if the cups of it had been calling
the breasts up—he buried her in it,
perhaps he had never bothered to take it
off. They found her underpants
in a garbage can. And I feared the word
eczema, like my acne and like
the X in the paper which marked her body,
as if he had killed her for not being flawless.
I feared his name, Burton Abbott,
the first name that was a last name,
as if he were not someone specific.
It was nothing one could learn from his face.
His face was dull and ordinary,
it took away what I’d thought I could count on
about evil. He looked thin and lonely,
it was horrifying, he looked almost humble.
I felt awe that dirt was so impersonal,
and pity for the training bra,
pity and terror of eczema.
And I could not sit on my mother’s electric
blanket anymore, I began to have a
fear of electricity—
the good people, the parents, were going to
fry him to death. This was what
his parents had been telling us:
Burton Abbott, Burton Abbott,
death to the person, death to the home planet.
The worst thing was to think of her,
of what it had been to be her, alive,
To be walked, alive, into that cabin,
to look into those eyes, and see the human



Burton Abbott was condemned to death on circumstantial evidence but as the switch was flicked, a stay of execution came through. His case raised the question about the validity of the penalty of death being given based on circumstantial evidence.
He was tied for the murder of 14 year old Stephanie. And the bra relates to her personal possessions being dug up including her bra.

I have in my mind two murders that I cannot shift. One was when I was about 14 or 15 I think and I read in the paper about the Black Panther. I recall there being reports of a girl being buried underground but no one knew where. I have not found details of this despite researching it. And the other is the Soham girls. I have been troubled by the murder of these little girls. I spoke with a Buddhist monk visiting from India. He had said earlier in a talk that he thought most things happen to create lessons. After his talk I spoke to him about my trouble with innocent little girls being murdered as way of teaching. He answered me by saying that there were two things to consider. 1. was that in the Western world there is the commitment to seek out murderers. He reflected on how in India and other parts of the world there is no such determination and murderers do not get caught. 2. Was that the murderer would be a tortured soul (I think at that time no one had been convicted). I saw his point.
BUT
I still have the dilemma of why bad things happen to good people. And a lesson is not seeming to console my distress with this issue.

August 2002
It seems tricky to try and reconcile
This most complex of life dilemma
Why bad things have to happen
To the innocent, good and young?
The hunter in Ian Huntley
Perplexes me right to my core
What world can go on
behind his cold eyes?
What kind of connections
Justify barbaric and tragic decisions
To take the girls as they walked by?
The hunt on for thirteen days
And upholding shocked citizen Ian
Spoke out for the stunned community.
But his bonfire did not burn
Police can confirm from forensic evidence
That Ian Huntley had killed those girls.
He told how he knocked Holly down
Causing her to drown in the bath
And suffoctaed poor Jessica's screams
He said it was all by mistake!
He claimed he felt mentally ill.
It's not normal to behave in this way
When anyone acts with such chill.
So sanely he serves his sentence
Waiting to survive his life term
Hoping no one will get to this throat.
He will be out when he reaches 68?
What lessons are we to have learnt?
We are grateful he was hunted and caught!
But two little girls are still dead
And will not know what it's like to grow old.

Bliss
XX

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