Humility for Today
by Bill W.
AA Grapevine, June 1961
There can be no absolute humility for us humans. At best, we can only glimpse the meaning and splendor
of such a perfect ideal. As the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" says: "We are not saints. . .we claim spiritual
progress rather than spiritual perfection." Only God Himself can manifest in the Absolute; we human
beings must needs live and grow in the domain of the relative. We seek humility for today.
Therefore our practical question is this: "Just what do we mean by 'humility for today' and how do we know
when we have found it?"
We scarcely need be reminded that excessive guilt or rebellion leads to spiritual poverty. But it was a very
long time before we knew we could go even more broke on spiritual pride. When we early AAs got our
first glimmer of how spiritually prideful we could be, we coined this expression: "Don't try to get too
damned good by Thursday!" That old-time admonition may look like another of those handy alibis that can
excuse us from trying for our best. Yet a closer view reveals just the contrary. This is our AA way of
warning against pride-blindness, and the imaginary perfections that we do not possess.
Now that we no longer patronize bars and bordellos; now that we bring home the pay checks; now that we
are so very active in AA; and now that people congratulate us on these signs of progress--well, we naturally
proceed to congratulate ourselves. Yet we may not be within hailing distance of humility. Meaning well,
yet doing badly, how often have I said or thought, "I am right and you are wrong," "My plan is correct and
yours is faulty," "Thank God your sins are not my sins," "You are hurting AA and I'm going to stop you
cold," "I have God's guidance, so He is on my side." And so on, indefinitely.
The alarming thing about such pride-blindness is the ease with which it is justified. But we need not look
far to see that this deceptive brand of self-justification is a universal destroyer of harmony and of love. It
sets man against man, nation against nation. By it, every form of folly and violence can be made to look
right, and even respectable. Of course it is not for us to condemn. We need only investigate ourselves.
How, then, can we do more and more about reducing our guilt, rebellion and pride?
When I inventory such defects, I like to draw a picture and tell myself a story. My picture is that of a
Highway to Humility, and my story is an allegory. On one side of my Highway, I see a great bog. The
Highway's edge borders a shallow marsh which finally shelves down into that muddy morass of guilt and
rebellion in which I have so often floundered. Self-destruction lies in wait out there, and I know this. But
the country on the other side of the road looks fine. I see inviting glades, and beyond them great mountains.
The countless trails leading into this pleasant land look safe. It will be easy, I think, to find one's way back.
Together with numbers of friends, I decide to take a brief detour. We pick our path and happily plunge
along it. Elatedly, somebody soon says, "Maybe we'll find gold on top of that mountain." Then to our
amazement we do strike gold--not nuggets in the streams, but fully minted coins. The heads of these coins
each declare, "This is pure gold--twenty-four carats." Surely, we think, this is the reward for our patient
plodding back there in the everlasting brightness of the Highway.
Soon, though, we begin to notice the words on the tails of our coins, and we have strange forebodings:
Some pieces carry rather attractive inscriptions. "I am Power," "I am Acclaim," "I am Wealth," "I am
Righteousness," they say. But others seem very strange. For example: "I am The Master Race," "I am The
Benefactor," "I am Good Causes," "I am God." This is very puzzling. Nevertheless we pocket them. But
next come real shockers. They read: "I'm Pride," "I'm Anger," "I'm Aggression," "I'm Revenge," "I'm
Disunity," "I'm Chaos." Then we turn up a single coin--just one--which declares: "I am the Devil himself."
Some of us are horrified and we cry, "This is fool's gold, and this is a fool's paradise--let's clear out of
here!"
