Determined discipline

My mood is down. :(
I have now got the out of hours number in case I feel I need extra support. This is a must when my thoughts are so dark as they were on Sunday. I just felt dreadful. I felt better yesterday but didn't like how over zealous I was about some things. I think this was a little hyper stuff emerging. It just all feels strange at the moment.
Furthermore I feel bloated and uncomfortable yet again. I am hoping it's a random blip and short term. It was the ongoing development of this last December that led me to be so so miserable. And I was unable to manage my food plan, combined with all the painful elements of the relationship I was trying to negotiate through. Pooh I don;t want to feel like that again right now or ever preferably. For today I need to manage my food plan regardless of the disappointment of the internal working which I think are hormone related. My body is not in my control that's for sure and this is breaking news! Why? Because I always thought I had control if I was starving myself or using bulimia. What I didn't have control over was my appetite. Now I realise that I have no control over my body at all. I can put healthy action in and my body will certainly respond but I do not have control. I especially realise this from my studies.
With every little cell managing it's own homeostasis. All I can do to help is provide healthy nutrition an exercise and be out in the sunshine or rain etc.
The rest is all up to the inner Universe. Amazing.
With that I need to get on and study as I am slightly behind. When at home I am so distracted. When I study at work  am focused but I run out of time.
This is hard working and studying! I would never underestimate anyone studying to degree or higher. I would definitely rate an OU student as determined and disciplined above and beyond.

Bliss
XX

The wise sage

Silence does not denote profundity if you are ignorant and untrained. Like on holding scales, a sage weighs things up, wholesome and unwholesome, and comes to know both the inner and outer worlds. Therefore the sage is called wise.
Dhammapada v. 269-269.

Ajahn Munindo says ...
" The Buddha spoke of the contentment and benefit that can come from living in quiet and beautiful places. Limiting sesne stimuli can assit us on our path to freedom from ignorance. However he didn't mean for us to then take a position against the sensory world. Ajahn Chah often said "If you can't practise in the city, you can't practise in the forest" And he'd also say "If you can't practise when you are sick, you can't practise when you are healthy". In other words, everything is practice; including the feeling that we can't practise with 'this'. It is wisdom that recognises this truth.

When I read the Dhammpada verse, I was thinking that practice often means bouncing around extremes before finding balance. And by so doing coming to know and understand better. I think that the more a person practises the better they would come to know themselves and how they can best function in the world with love, peace and grace whilst also feeling that contentment within as well. There is never absolute though, as it is a matter of ongoing practise as every person encountered and every situation met will surely bring new lessons to practise.
Reading Ajahn Muninido, I get a different understanding. I realise that regardless of conditions including my mood, practice is ongoing. There is no ideal condition to wait for just get on with the practising everyday, every situation. Consciousness takes practise and every moment is an opportunity to practise. With awareness growing, comes the opportunity to practise the lessons in the moment.
Silent meditation in beautiful places like the monastery at Chithurst invokes a calm. I would like to practise more regular attendance. But the practise of sitting in silent meditation can be undertaken anywhere. I would like to continue to practise this too.

Bliss
XX