Today - well 6Aug

Amy Winehouse 14Sep83 - 23Jul11

Don't go to strangers - wow what a delivery of a song. It's so very bloody sad that addiction raped this young woman. A voice so rare and brilliant. A star. With such deep destruction at her core. The press are reporting a home detox as the cause of her death. We will never truly know I guess. I feel very sad as I watch a tribute to her hosted by Jools Holland

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuJscWYA-eI

I hope that link is never removed.
Build your dreams
To the stars above
But when you need someone true to love
Don't go to strangers
Lover come to me

Play with fire
Get your fingers burned
But when there's no place left to turn
Don't go to strangers
Lover come to me

You give the call to follow your heart
You'll follow your heart, I know
I've been around
I'm an old hand
I'll understand if you have to go

So make your mark
For your friends to see
But when you need more than company
Don't go to strangers
Lover come to me

Don't go to strangers
Lover come to me

Asking for a bike

I just out it out into the ether that I would like a bike to borrow or buy cheaply and JC sent this - he he. For every situation almist he has a song. What a memory!
It once again made feel something about the bike I cannot get back from Claire. How weird that all is really. Another person with lots of issues and blaming others. I can stand back yet I also feel sad. It was odd really as I was sort of pushed towards that friendship. Another one as well that my instincts told me something but I did as I was told as after all what did I know.
Anyhow she did help me out tremendoulsy but I got a trong feel it was with huge resentment. It was Claire that told me how my sponsor had been speaking about me behind my back and even told me things about me that were confidential with my sponsor. I was very, very hurt. More reasons not to trust. What I learnt though was not to trust them.
I cannot get my bike back and I think there is a box of paperwork still there. She rang my number clearly by accident as I called back and I have never heard anthing again.
There are some people in the rooms who it seems I am better of without. Oh well. I hope that whatever they are doing they are content with life. And growing in their recovery.

Anyway the song made me smile. I would like to borrow a bike with a bell and a basket on the front. Mine was a mountain bike all singing all dancing gears - very expensive. A gift from SH's parents. Lost and gone forever.
Pink Floyd - Bike
I've got a bike, you can ride it if you like.
It's got a basket, a bell that rings
And things to make it look good.
I'd give it to you if I could, but I borrowed it.
You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world.
I'll give you anything, everything if you want things.
I've got a cloak it's a bit of a joke.
There's a tear up the front. It's red and black.
I've had it for months.
If you think it could look good, then I guess it should.
You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world.
I'll give you anything, everything if you want things.
I know a mouse, and he hasn't got a house.
I don't know why I call him Gerald.
He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse.
You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world.
I'll give you anything, everything if you want things.
I've got a clan of gingerbread men.
Here a man, there a man, lots of gingerbread men.
Take a couple if you wish. They're on the dish.
You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world.
I'll give you anything, everything if you want things.
I know a room full of musical tunes.
Some rhyme, some ching, most of them are clockwork.
Let's go into the other room and make them work.

Childlike

I can see how childish I can be but I only can see what I can see.

A friend wrote something like that about themselves. And I have taken it as it sang to be gentle - the child clearly wants something and needs to be heard.

a quote by C.S. Lewis:
"Critics who treat adult as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence....When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."

British flower banks

I can't quite capture the nervure - I am impatient with my sketching sometimes.
I have no idea what these flowers are. They are abundant along my journey home. I also want to try and paint them to see if I ccan capture the strangeness of their colours. They truly are quite odd looking.

Bliss
XX

Law and order = blade of justice?

Themis is the goddess of divine law and enjoys offering her wise advice. She is described as "of good counsel", and is the embodiment of divine order, law, and custom. The personification of abstract concepts is characteristic of the Hellenes. The ability of the goddess Themis to foresee the future enabled her to become one of the Oracles of Delphi, which in turn led to her establishment as the goddess of divine justice. Some classical representations of Themis did not show her blindfolded (because of her talent for prophecy, she had no need to be blinded) nor was she holding a sword (because she represented common consent, not coercion). The sword is also believed to represent the ability Themis had from cutting fact from fiction, to her there was no middle ground. Themis built the Oracle at Delphi and was herself oracular. According to another legend, Themis received the Oracle at Delphi from Gaia and later gave it to Phoebe. When Themis is disregarded, Nemesis brings just and wrathful retribution, thus Themis shared the Nemesion temple at Rhamnous. Themis is not wrathful: she, "of the lovely cheeks", was the first to offer Hera a cup when she returned to Olympus distraught over threats from Zeus. Themis presided over the proper relation between man and woman, the basis of the rightly ordered family (the family was seen as the pillar of the deme), and judges were often referred to as "themistopóloi" (the servants of Themis). Such was the basis for order upon Olympus too. Even Hera addressed her as "Lady Themis."

 

 

Peace and justice are two sides of the same coin ~ Dwight David Eisenhower  

 

It's good to stop and contemplate things that I take for granted such as law and order. If only there were an overseer truly rather than relying on man's short sightedness and often motives driving decisions that guide law and supposed justice.

There needs to be law and order otherwise there would be anarchy. But as time evolves, more and more control takes over. So instead of order there is control. Oddly enough this seems to cause a quiet rebellious type anarchy in my opinion. Humans make adjustments to EVERYTHING and then  adjustments to adjust the adjustments and in the end we have a mish mash cross wiring that is merely control. Control is surely only a way of dealing with fear - hence I say there are unconscious forces at work that are not necessarily considered when judging whether a law or judicial decision is fair etc.

We need to trust in a higher power - difficult to do especially when deciding to lock someone away for life. I do not agree with capital punishment. However, I have never had anyone taken from me through murder. I have been subjected to sexual abuse in more than one stage of my life. I still would not wish to punish these people. I would like them to be able to access support and facilitate change but even that cannot be forced. I think it would be right to keep these people away from being able to do it again BUT they are at large and have probably violated others. Their punishment will certainly be internal. They must surely have been in turmoil themselves before it exploding into violating others. I feel sad for them more than anything else.

I used to (and that was until very recently) feel nothing but rage. This was my own rage and with circumstances and help I keep finding peace for that rage to dwindle into. Not all the time, it still emerges from time t time. And the ripple effect of the violation manifests in many less obvious ways. However, as the rage disappears so my compassion and charity has grown. I hope and pray for those men to have peace in their heart and soul long before they die, to know something different in their lives. I wonder what contributed to their own rage for them to need to find this way to vent the torture within them? I feel such sorrow for all the pain that gets spread around.

 

So I think this thing called justice we have and the judicial system that all universal in some ways, therefore there is a humanness for it's need. However, it varies by each collections of gathered humans. And therefore the exactness of justice by humans is adjusted for by external social influences. This to mean means that it is a very delicate line between justice and local control. If only there were Themis to guide with the all seeing eyes. Only a greater being would be able to maintain the sanity enough to be able to bear such a gift.

It reminds me of Minority Report (ugh! to the film). The evolution of man as depicted in science fiction appears to offer Utopia but the price to pay is the constant need to wipe out all fears. In line with my current thinking Minority Report, Philip K. Dick, represents this well. Stopping any acts of crime before it happens.  There is nothing about education, a constant gripe of mine. Too big a job I suppose for the little Governments. Instead rule by fear.

I wonder if Ridley Scott had directed Minority Report whether he would have done it very differently. I think the Tom Cruise element for me is always disappointing. I am never certain ow much influence he has forced upon the film so that he appears all hero etc. It is a rumour I am aware and one that has strongly influenced me. I just don't think he is the part he is Tom Cruise in whichever film he is in. Oh apart from Magnolia. Yes a good part. And that reminds of a person I met in Second Life - uhm

When I met him I was exploring a new land. It was empty apart from one other person. The place was very, how would I say rusty and metallic with large bolts holding metal structures together. Stairways descended on pushing buttons. It was empty and eerie. Gonzo bumped into me and we then proceeded to explore together. We fell down traps and followed trails that went to nowhere. He was funny too. Western American I discovered. We spent a good couple of hours joking and exploring and chatting too. Eventually he invited me inevitably to his "favourite place". It was a beautiful Sim. But there were the usual "sex toys". I laughed. It was yet another place that was subliminally whetting my appetite for M/s. He pointed out the artwork and "toys" but we didn't indulge in them.  He said that he found me unusual. Ha ha ha. I think it was the lack of interest really in the sex element that intrigued him and I became a challenge. Ha. I received gifts of RL photos of his penis etc, which all added to the laughter.

We met up to say hello if we happened to both be online. He had an SL girlfriend and an RL girlfriend. The RL girlfriend knew nothing of his SL living. He had a lot of time to be on SL as he was the official carer for his very ill father. And during conversations he would need to go to respond to his father calling him. His father was very ill. Oh I didn't clarify that we used voice on SL. He was a very intelligent man and very creative. As his fathers illness progressed, during the time I knew Gonzo, he was preparing for his fathers death. He was buying a camper van and getting ready for him and his girlfriend to go off travelling. He never did share the emotions and thinking behind all of this. He did talk at times of resentment with his father and circumstances. His girlfriend lived with him and was out working. He would talk of her with some disdain. I find this so sad that so many men talk of their partners with this feeling of entrapment or something.

As I was less and less on SL and then eventually deciding not to return for the time being it was strange how I would be losing contact with all these people who, although it was through a fantasy environment really, I got to know snippets of their real life even when they weren't intending that. I did speak with Gonzo one last time. His father had died and his was packing up the house to be off on his travels. I thought what an odd mix of intense emotions - the excitement of the freedom he longed for and yet the deep sadness of loss alongside the strong resentment. Not to mention all the years of life that I knew nothing about - his mother, any siblings, career opportunities and so on.

An anonymous, random encounter with someone I got to know some inner feelings about. So strange.

 

OK essay time

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Bliss

XX