Lucien Freud died yesterday. I believe he died of old age and the natural cause of things.
My friend has said that she finds his depiction of women distasteful. She says he makes them look like pieces of meat. I listened to a recording of him saying that he wanted to show people as they were, lumps bumps and everything. He also said that he painted people he knew. He said even if it was the twin of someone he knew he wouldn't paint them as it was the essence of the person he wanted to capture. A woman who sat for him was saying that he spent time getting to know her. She was £20 per day sitting but he took her to lunch which would cost £80. This slightly contradicted really what I had understood from what he had said. I had understood that he literally knew everyone before they sat for him but in this case the model was someone he got to know as she sat.
Someone else said that the eyes of the woman always looked out of gauntness and as if surprised .. what do I think?
Of the paintings I have seen directly, I thought there was an empty look in the eyes. I felt that there was relationship with women that was somehow distant for him. I wondered about his sexuality as I observed what he showed. Apparently he had many many affairs and marriages with women. This means nothing of course except that numerous partners often indicates an inability for intimacy. Always interesting and too late to get to know. And of course most people do not want to explore their behaviours, so long as its working adn they do not hit the rock bottom - if it's working don't change it.
A fascinating man I think. I am interested in his paintings but I do not see him finding beauty and love. I see something else .... Everything is personal interpretation huh
5 deaths in a hospital (in Stockport) after suspicious circumstances. A nurse Rebbecca Leighton has been arrested under suspicion of contaminating saline drips. Good grief!
Police clarified earlier reports suggesting a 41-year-old man had died. The officer said he was in fact still very poorly.
Both of them had been on wards A1 and A3 which is where detectives have focused their investigation into the deaths.
Stepping Hill Hospital in Stockport confirmed his death today as police continued to question a nurse accused of killing three patients using contaminated drips.
Rebecca Leighton was arrested in a dawn raid at the small flat she shares with her fiancé and was being questioned by detectives last night.
In a statement, Greater Manchester Police said: 'Police have been given more time to question a woman arrested on suspicion of murder.
'The 27-year-old was arrested on Wednesday by detectives investigating the deaths of five patients at Stepping Hill Hospital.
'A warrant of further detention has been granted and is due to expire at 9.05pm on Friday.
'Inquiries are continuing.'
Known as Becki, the 27-year-old works at Stepping Hill Hospital in Stockport where her mother, Lynda, is understood to be a nurse training manager.
She is being held on suspicion of the murders there of George Keep, 84, Arnold Lancaster, 71, and Tracey Arden, 44.
The 85-year-old woman died on July 14 but her death is being linked with the other four.
A/Ch Const Hopkins said: 'As with the deaths of George Keep, Arnold Lancaster and Tracey Arden the cause of this man and woman's death is not known and it is important we do not lose sight of this fact.
In relation to the death of the woman, this was referred to us by the coroner and after a review of the circumstances surrounding this death - notably the low blood sugar level - we have decided to investigate further.
'In relation to the man's death, due to the fact he suffered a hypoglycaemic episode during a timeframe we are looking at it is only right we conduct further inquiries.
'We have family liaison officers with both families and my thoughts are with them as they are with the relatives of all affected by this incident.
Then the devastating news of a bomb and vile shootings in Norway. I am relieved to know my friend is alive and well.
Norway has been hit by twin attacks - a massive bomb blast in the capital and a shooting attack on young people at a governing Labour Party youth camp.
At least seven people were killed in the bombing, which inflicted huge damage on government buildings in Oslo.
A few hours later a gunman opened fire at the camp on an island outside Oslo, killing ...... at the time of this report the BBC reported 10 people killed. BUt I have heard from other news bulletins of maybe as many as 90 killed and still some people are missing. Young people drowned as they tried to escape by swimming off the island Utoeya.
It's just baffling. I will never get to grips with it - or so I say. I think there is some awareness with the work that I do and studying too of the way that evil can be cultivated without even knowing that its happening. I feel sorrow for the tortured soul within this person who could cause such devastation and trauma.
Amy Whinehouse has been found dead this afternoon - currently the cause of death is unknown. The tragedy of addiction.
I saw some photographs of Amy in the depths of her drug use and despair. I felt so sad and could not bring myself to give the disease of addiction space to live by copying them here onto this Blog. It's so tragic! I feel so sad for the waste of a life given over to this disease that ravages souls. What was so painful underneath that she couldn't face. I sit day after day in my job with people who are losing everything slowly, slowly. A woman who has alcoholic dementia and so now she will not remember that she cannot drink. It's just awful. People who have near liver failure but they cannot get that they are powerless over this disease of addiction. So far there is only one solution - abstinence. Handing over the power to other people. I cannot get it around food. I cannot get it around love and relationships - codependency. I understand it fully. It kills - it is violent in it's killing. I am grateful to have been given the gift of recovery. Thank you Universe.
People don't even think they have it! Denial is so convincing and strong. It sabotages living and life.
And yesterday a client was found dead after disappearing from the hospital the day before.
All these feelings are within me. As always I have a complete void. Just an awareness of something big within me. Perhaps I am over sensitive I don't know but today I am feeling something big about all of these.
This morning I used laxatives. I cannot bear feeling how I do so had to purge. I am powerless over the compulsion.
Tomorrow I am visiting my Auntie and then onto to visit my cousin who is so seriously ill.
My dad called to say he is very ill.
I find it all too overwhelming. I do not want to go to any meetings as everyone will be dwelling in the disaster of an addict dieing.
Bliss with failing words
xx
