Finally it's booked!
We arrive in this cottage on Monday afternoon. It's near Abergavenny. Looking forward to just being in the company of M & T.
Now it's just working out the windy route there. Hopefully via Bath as I want to visit an Exhibition called Presence: Portrait Sculpture
It's taken a while to finally get something under way and now it's just to find somewhere cheapish to stay in or near Bath for one night.
I feel awkward about meeting T en route but it was agreed with M even though she is taking it that I am blaming her for my awkwardness. I am not. I'm not sure I'm as bothered as her about us all being together for the entire time. On the other hand 3 people can be complicated and in a way it already is without us even having set off. It's my codependency. Worrying about what each of the others want and think and not wanting anyone to be hurt or upset.
I'm sorry M thinks I am blaming her.
This exhibition is at The Holbourne Museum and looks so interesting. Of course other sculptures from Henry Moore and similar are there but also Degas and older sculptures from Ancient Greece and Rome. What a wonder this will be.
M wants to take a steam train ride which runs between Bristol and Bath. I think. I hope.
Anyway the adventure trail is set and anything can now happen.
I am so uncomfortable with the idea of T making her own way and meeting us when we have already spent some time together. That feels odd when normally I wouldn't mind at all. I hadn't considered her not joining us for the entire trip having agreed that she could join us at all. But once M mentioned she would not feel happy spending time in a city with two of us needing to organise our food then it made sense to have the first few days just the two of us. As I thought about it it would be nice to just be M and I and then T join us. And that's what I said. Was I trying to put the onus on M? Yes I probably was. If on the other hand M said it was OK for T to join us from the beginning I wouldn't have that strong an opinion to say no. I would be happy either way. That's the reality I truly would be happy either way.
Bloody hell, it can be so complicated for me trying to keep everyone else happy.
I did say that I was worried that M wouldn't want to go on hols with me if I asked about T joining us at all. My priority is going on hols with her. Why does it get so complicated? Because I try always to keep M happy because she likes things a certain way. I think I would be easy going if it wasn't for wanting to keep people happy and trying to accommodate all their needs.
If it was just me I'd say yeh let's all pile in. It will be fun.
The thing is we are set to go and let's see what will unfold. God please guide me as to how to be.....
Thank you God
Bliss
XX
