Words for my Blog in the absence of access to my Blog
I have had a funny feeling today that what JH says and what he is doing are not quite adding up. I am unsure exactly what and why. Something just hasn’t seemed quite as open as it could be. I put trust in the Universe that all will be apparent if there is anything that my instincts are picking up. Of course I have been wrong, so open to that too.
This evening feels so strange. I am sitting in the office at the P, having decided it is safer to stay rather than try to brave the snow and ice into the village of EM. And then of course getting out again tomorrow morning to be back here for work. There are only 2 inpatients as well so that feels odd. Well 2 inpatients, there more than that in the hospital but even that number is greatly reduced.
Today JH introduced me to Rineke Diijkstra. A Dutch photographer, a portrait photographer. At a first glance I was struck by the real old fashioned capturing of modern day people. Capturing them in their stillness rather than trying to make people look natural and relaxed. A glazed look in the eyes. One of the striking photos is of a boy who has drying blood on his face and clothes and a great big plaster under his chin, some kind of injury. It’s just odd and interesting – what was going on and why did Diijkstra take the photo in what seems like a studio environment I think, i.e. no background to fill in any details of the story – just the boy. There looks to be another like that too. In fact they have similar jackets on – patterned – as unusual. I wonder what the story is.
And also Barbara Kruger. http://www.barbarakruger.com/
JH was at the Stedeliijk Museum. http://www.stedelijk.nl/en
And some guys outside gave him a replica of the rooms in the exhibition. Odd that they just gave this away. I hope to see what it was they gave him. Anyway I like the idea of having a replica of one of her rooms. They are quite stunningly different. Well different from anything I have known in making such strong statements. I have seen entire rooms developed for other uses but not like this.
It reminds me of the box I made when I was young and want to replicate now. I can’t recall how old I was. We had shoe boxes and cut windows in it. I created an underwater scene so the windows were covered in blues and greens – cellophanes – and then I hung things like seaweed and fish on cotton from the lid and created things to stand up from the bottom. At one end of the box a peephole was made and then the lid stuck down. It was a lot of fun to make and I love the atmosphere created in this little box. Also similarly I remember making a stage with actors and scenery etc with the girl who used to babysit for me – this was when we lived in Godalming where things all seem very strange as memoires. Something very sinister. Very – we only lived there for 6 months. Everything changes a lot after that. I have very vague recollections and more sensations than solid memories. Spiders and darkness and shadows and strange people looking out of windows. A real strange feeling comes over me. And fear as well as dread.
Anyway I would like to recreate those childhood things in adult form now. So the replica JH was given brought back that memory of the box again – a revisit of that memory. I can’t remember which school or where or how old or anyone else that might have been involved. It’s almost a standalone memory.
Questions to JH
What is love?
What is a loving relationship with me or a partner that he loves
What does he value in friendship
How would you like your life to be
And how does that look – how does he see it
Some more introductions
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christo_and_Jeanne-Claude
http://www.christojeanneclaude.net/
Bliss
XX
I have had a funny feeling today that what JH says and what he is doing are not quite adding up. I am unsure exactly what and why. Something just hasn’t seemed quite as open as it could be. I put trust in the Universe that all will be apparent if there is anything that my instincts are picking up. Of course I have been wrong, so open to that too.
This evening feels so strange. I am sitting in the office at the P, having decided it is safer to stay rather than try to brave the snow and ice into the village of EM. And then of course getting out again tomorrow morning to be back here for work. There are only 2 inpatients as well so that feels odd. Well 2 inpatients, there more than that in the hospital but even that number is greatly reduced.
Today JH introduced me to Rineke Diijkstra. A Dutch photographer, a portrait photographer. At a first glance I was struck by the real old fashioned capturing of modern day people. Capturing them in their stillness rather than trying to make people look natural and relaxed. A glazed look in the eyes. One of the striking photos is of a boy who has drying blood on his face and clothes and a great big plaster under his chin, some kind of injury. It’s just odd and interesting – what was going on and why did Diijkstra take the photo in what seems like a studio environment I think, i.e. no background to fill in any details of the story – just the boy. There looks to be another like that too. In fact they have similar jackets on – patterned – as unusual. I wonder what the story is.
And also Barbara Kruger. http://www.barbarakruger.com/
JH was at the Stedeliijk Museum. http://www.stedelijk.nl/en
And some guys outside gave him a replica of the rooms in the exhibition. Odd that they just gave this away. I hope to see what it was they gave him. Anyway I like the idea of having a replica of one of her rooms. They are quite stunningly different. Well different from anything I have known in making such strong statements. I have seen entire rooms developed for other uses but not like this.
It reminds me of the box I made when I was young and want to replicate now. I can’t recall how old I was. We had shoe boxes and cut windows in it. I created an underwater scene so the windows were covered in blues and greens – cellophanes – and then I hung things like seaweed and fish on cotton from the lid and created things to stand up from the bottom. At one end of the box a peephole was made and then the lid stuck down. It was a lot of fun to make and I love the atmosphere created in this little box. Also similarly I remember making a stage with actors and scenery etc with the girl who used to babysit for me – this was when we lived in Godalming where things all seem very strange as memoires. Something very sinister. Very – we only lived there for 6 months. Everything changes a lot after that. I have very vague recollections and more sensations than solid memories. Spiders and darkness and shadows and strange people looking out of windows. A real strange feeling comes over me. And fear as well as dread.
Anyway I would like to recreate those childhood things in adult form now. So the replica JH was given brought back that memory of the box again – a revisit of that memory. I can’t remember which school or where or how old or anyone else that might have been involved. It’s almost a standalone memory.
Questions to JH
What is love?
What is a loving relationship with me or a partner that he loves
What does he value in friendship
How would you like your life to be
And how does that look – how does he see it
Some more introductions
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christo_and_Jeanne-Claude
http://www.christojeanneclaude.net/
Bliss
XX
