Darn it! I wrote out here in this very page the extent of my anger. And blow me over with a feather the flipping thing crashed temporarily and all of my words have gone. Gone into the ether. And what's left? No anger. It's passed. It was in relation to spending time this evening with someone so very dear to me who in my opinion is in the very pits of this disease of addiction. Right now I feel sad to the point of tears, which is the next phase. I was so relieved I picked up the phone to SS and roared my anger out to her knowing that she could hold it and not try to fix it. She related and understood this horrible feeling of powerless. I cannot do a thing to help as hard as I try with talk and ideas and love. It just doesn't get through. And that's so tragic. I will not abandon her which is what people have said to do. I did in the early days of recovery from alcohol but the renewal of the friendship was always essential. A sad waste of someone so talented and clever. Please God I pray for A.
Thank you God for my awareness and for showing me how to do this differently. I knew I needed to speak to someone and to speak to someone impartially was just what I needed.
And also with L today. That was the other thing I had been writing about vigorously. I came across L talking to F (HD). I heard her say "this morning" and "she". As I was the only one in with her this monring I started thinking all sorts of things she was saying that would be lies. Thank goodness I didn;t do what I wanted to do and that was to listen in. After all there I was yesterday saying to a client about the self inflicted torture because he is reading texts and online messages that are truth but hurtful. It's none of my business. And what I did have was God. I asked God for help. I put my turst in God that whatever was being said, I would be OK. It's pride. Me wanting people to think well of me and the injustice of someone lying about me and disparaging my good name. Especially as here I am maing big changes. I need to start saying good things only about her. I need to stop doing that to her. It's a horrid feeling. I've known it before. The fear of being defamed and often with someone else's issues leading the defamation. Treat others as I would like to be treated myself.
Thank you God for guiding me. I feel better about myself too so thank you God for that too.
And this evening I feel very honoured that a friend was able to share a little of themselves. I know it's nothing to do with me but to be present at the moment that person was able to verbalise some deep truths and put trust in being heard - well I am blown away. Thank you God for guiding that person and I pray for them. I know the changes that are taking place in me are just beginnings and there for his taking to.
Thank you God for so much and everything. I pray for more of course - well I am an addict after all. ;)
It's bedtime despite the colour virtue not being finished. I want to continue watching the WHITE programme. I found the BLUE programme fascinating. I will need to watch the GOLD programme as I skimped it. Colour will be talked about by Stephen Fry too on Radio 4. Sometimes wotk just gets int he way. Thank you God for iPlayer. Convenient.
Nighty night and thanks for the release from anger and the amusing way of taking it right away. Gone, for tonight.
oh thank you God for keeping me abstinent today. Amazing, truly!!
Bliss
xx
ps - some more darn it's. I've had a few hot flushes over the past few days. Today they were bigger than yesterday. I hope this doesn't mean they are coming back along with a whole host of other symptoms. Tedious and horrible. I thought I was done and dusted with that!! Poop!
White may be the darkest colour of them all? The purest colour became tainted.
White came to symbolise an enlightened world. But was used to divide and control and then finally to conquer.......
25 Sep 1938 - The Director of the British Museum was on his rounds - but unbeknownst to him an incident was taking place in the basement. Cleaning was taking place of some objects, some of the most prized possessions, the Elgin Marbles.
A number of sculptures. They were once painted in rich colours that had washed away. But at one point we were convinced they had always been wither and were being made whiter than ever before.
The Director put a stop to the cleaning - the culprit - Joseph Devene. He thought the marbles were too brown and believed they should be white. This action had not been approved by the Museum.
The intrigue of white = why was Devene so desperate that the sculptures should be white and so white. The Greek sculptors when to lengths to painting away the white.
Planting white at the centre of European culture was Johann Joaquin Winkelmann, born in 1717 in eastern Germany. He was an intellectual and wanting to set foot in the cosmopolitan areas.
He arrived in Dresden and discovered
He found a store of ancient white statues in all shaped and sizes. There were plenty for hm to feat his eyes on and of the most wonderful. He there and then dedicated his life to persuade others of the beauty.
in 1755 he found a city littered with white columns and so on from ages past. He started recording all the marble he found. The Belvedere Torso and others.
His records got him noticed by the Vatican. He set eyes on the Apollo Belvedere. A copy of which in in Soanes house. This one in the Vatican was believed to be a copy of a Greek original carved in about 300BC
What's truly surprising apart from being the most beautiful man, is it's whiteness. This sculpture shows how sophisticated the ancient Greeks really were.
White symbolised health, simplicity, reason and more.
He celebrated the whiteness of this art.
We should feel indebted by Winkelmann for inspiring the future.
Whiteness is purity. Winklemann's dream of filling the world with this purest antiquity.
An elegant building - home of Britain's most famous potter. Wedgwood. A giant of the enlightenment
He was the grandfather of Charles Darwin - wow
He was a Winkelmann disciple sharing a love for white antiquity.
Voltaire the philosopher, Joseph Banks, botanist,
Wedgwood was determined to bring the sculptor to the edge of comfort an then let them go.
His family were unperturbed and yet I don't see any activity
It was very difficult to reproduce a paint that getting to a white glaze was a constant disappointment for M.
The first great white glaze ....
He turned out a seres of beautiful whits pots.
Neoclassical consists of flutes and columns. As well as available space. I could not imagine anyone coming here!!!!
White had conquered Europe through Winkelmann.
Mid 18th century - a transformation about the way we view white and art.
1859 a young man married on out shoes - please can you cover today for me
Thank you God for my awareness and for showing me how to do this differently. I knew I needed to speak to someone and to speak to someone impartially was just what I needed.
And also with L today. That was the other thing I had been writing about vigorously. I came across L talking to F (HD). I heard her say "this morning" and "she". As I was the only one in with her this monring I started thinking all sorts of things she was saying that would be lies. Thank goodness I didn;t do what I wanted to do and that was to listen in. After all there I was yesterday saying to a client about the self inflicted torture because he is reading texts and online messages that are truth but hurtful. It's none of my business. And what I did have was God. I asked God for help. I put my turst in God that whatever was being said, I would be OK. It's pride. Me wanting people to think well of me and the injustice of someone lying about me and disparaging my good name. Especially as here I am maing big changes. I need to start saying good things only about her. I need to stop doing that to her. It's a horrid feeling. I've known it before. The fear of being defamed and often with someone else's issues leading the defamation. Treat others as I would like to be treated myself.
Thank you God for guiding me. I feel better about myself too so thank you God for that too.
And this evening I feel very honoured that a friend was able to share a little of themselves. I know it's nothing to do with me but to be present at the moment that person was able to verbalise some deep truths and put trust in being heard - well I am blown away. Thank you God for guiding that person and I pray for them. I know the changes that are taking place in me are just beginnings and there for his taking to.
Thank you God for so much and everything. I pray for more of course - well I am an addict after all. ;)
It's bedtime despite the colour virtue not being finished. I want to continue watching the WHITE programme. I found the BLUE programme fascinating. I will need to watch the GOLD programme as I skimped it. Colour will be talked about by Stephen Fry too on Radio 4. Sometimes wotk just gets int he way. Thank you God for iPlayer. Convenient.
Nighty night and thanks for the release from anger and the amusing way of taking it right away. Gone, for tonight.
oh thank you God for keeping me abstinent today. Amazing, truly!!
Bliss
xx
ps - some more darn it's. I've had a few hot flushes over the past few days. Today they were bigger than yesterday. I hope this doesn't mean they are coming back along with a whole host of other symptoms. Tedious and horrible. I thought I was done and dusted with that!! Poop!
White may be the darkest colour of them all? The purest colour became tainted.
White came to symbolise an enlightened world. But was used to divide and control and then finally to conquer.......
25 Sep 1938 - The Director of the British Museum was on his rounds - but unbeknownst to him an incident was taking place in the basement. Cleaning was taking place of some objects, some of the most prized possessions, the Elgin Marbles.
A number of sculptures. They were once painted in rich colours that had washed away. But at one point we were convinced they had always been wither and were being made whiter than ever before.
The Director put a stop to the cleaning - the culprit - Joseph Devene. He thought the marbles were too brown and believed they should be white. This action had not been approved by the Museum.
The intrigue of white = why was Devene so desperate that the sculptures should be white and so white. The Greek sculptors when to lengths to painting away the white.
Planting white at the centre of European culture was Johann Joaquin Winkelmann, born in 1717 in eastern Germany. He was an intellectual and wanting to set foot in the cosmopolitan areas.
He arrived in Dresden and discovered
He found a store of ancient white statues in all shaped and sizes. There were plenty for hm to feat his eyes on and of the most wonderful. He there and then dedicated his life to persuade others of the beauty.
in 1755 he found a city littered with white columns and so on from ages past. He started recording all the marble he found. The Belvedere Torso and others.
His records got him noticed by the Vatican. He set eyes on the Apollo Belvedere. A copy of which in in Soanes house. This one in the Vatican was believed to be a copy of a Greek original carved in about 300BC
What's truly surprising apart from being the most beautiful man, is it's whiteness. This sculpture shows how sophisticated the ancient Greeks really were.
White symbolised health, simplicity, reason and more.
He celebrated the whiteness of this art.
We should feel indebted by Winkelmann for inspiring the future.
Whiteness is purity. Winklemann's dream of filling the world with this purest antiquity.
An elegant building - home of Britain's most famous potter. Wedgwood. A giant of the enlightenment
He was the grandfather of Charles Darwin - wow
He was a Winkelmann disciple sharing a love for white antiquity.
Voltaire the philosopher, Joseph Banks, botanist,
Wedgwood was determined to bring the sculptor to the edge of comfort an then let them go.
His family were unperturbed and yet I don't see any activity
It was very difficult to reproduce a paint that getting to a white glaze was a constant disappointment for M.
The first great white glaze ....
He turned out a seres of beautiful whits pots.
Neoclassical consists of flutes and columns. As well as available space. I could not imagine anyone coming here!!!!
White had conquered Europe through Winkelmann.
Mid 18th century - a transformation about the way we view white and art.
1859 a young man married on out shoes - please can you cover today for me
