Since ancient times it has been the case that those who speak too much are criticised, as are those who speak too little and those who don't speak at all. Everyone in this world is criticised. There never was, nor will there be, nor is there now, anybody who is only blamed or wholly praised.
Dhammpada v. 227-8
Ajahn Munindo says ...
Whatever we do in this life, whatever we say (or don't say), we cannot avoid being criticised. The Buddha was blamed and criticised just like everyone else. To seek only praise and fear blame is fruitless. The only blame with which we really need to be concerned is that which is offered by the wise. If someone who lives impeccably criticises us, it is appropriate to heed what they say. But if we find that any criticism from anybody hurts us, then we need to look deeper. Reflect that in blaming, people send out the pain that they don't have the ability to contain; that they express their hurt outwardly by finding fault with others. When we have the midfulness and capacity to receive ourselves fully, we are not inclined to blame anyone - ourselves or others.
Mmmm well this is interesting. In my hurt I can quickly point the finger. It's an angry reaction. I was pleased that I was able to tell my dad that I don't blame him. I can say that I have feelings about his behaviour. How it's been for me and that's what I was trying to stick with. I understand though. I think I was quite accustational with JH and owe him an apology for that. It was hurt. I was hurt. It's funny because I can still feelo that hurt when I think about what happened. It was a big thing. I felt so disappointed and let down by him. The lack of ownership and a seeming lack of a desire to want to change and love me was so painful. It's not his fault of course. It was circumstances. I know that it was hurt and I foudn it so difficult to contain. I tried but at times I could not and it landed all over him. With my dad there were moments when my hurt oozed out. I would like to be able to talk more rationally and assure him fully that I do not blame him. I do understand.
I am learning mindfulness and glad that I am not so punishing and blaming of me. This is all steps towards growth and at least I am trying. So be kind to me too. There is no need to blame myself for not getting things just as I think they should be to be perfect.
Bliss
xx
Dhammpada v. 227-8
Ajahn Munindo says ...
Whatever we do in this life, whatever we say (or don't say), we cannot avoid being criticised. The Buddha was blamed and criticised just like everyone else. To seek only praise and fear blame is fruitless. The only blame with which we really need to be concerned is that which is offered by the wise. If someone who lives impeccably criticises us, it is appropriate to heed what they say. But if we find that any criticism from anybody hurts us, then we need to look deeper. Reflect that in blaming, people send out the pain that they don't have the ability to contain; that they express their hurt outwardly by finding fault with others. When we have the midfulness and capacity to receive ourselves fully, we are not inclined to blame anyone - ourselves or others.
Mmmm well this is interesting. In my hurt I can quickly point the finger. It's an angry reaction. I was pleased that I was able to tell my dad that I don't blame him. I can say that I have feelings about his behaviour. How it's been for me and that's what I was trying to stick with. I understand though. I think I was quite accustational with JH and owe him an apology for that. It was hurt. I was hurt. It's funny because I can still feelo that hurt when I think about what happened. It was a big thing. I felt so disappointed and let down by him. The lack of ownership and a seeming lack of a desire to want to change and love me was so painful. It's not his fault of course. It was circumstances. I know that it was hurt and I foudn it so difficult to contain. I tried but at times I could not and it landed all over him. With my dad there were moments when my hurt oozed out. I would like to be able to talk more rationally and assure him fully that I do not blame him. I do understand.
I am learning mindfulness and glad that I am not so punishing and blaming of me. This is all steps towards growth and at least I am trying. So be kind to me too. There is no need to blame myself for not getting things just as I think they should be to be perfect.
Bliss
xx
