A little bit of love lingers on ....

Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on

Still a little bit of your ghost you witness
Still a little BIT of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer EACH DAY
That I can't say what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer TO ME
So close that I can't see what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage!
Teach me to be shy
'Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't WANNA scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know

I see my life come shining

I shall be released

They say everything can be replaced.
That every distance is not near.
So I remember every face
Of every man who put me here.

They say every woman needs protection,
Then they turn around and tell you
Every woman's got to fall.
I swear I see my own reflection
Somewhere far beyond this wall.

I see my light come shining
From the west down to the east.
Any day now, any day now,
I shall be released.

Now yonder stands
There in that lonely crowd,
A man who swears he is not to blame, no, no.
And if you ask him has he ever seen this lonely woman,
He'll tell you, "No, no, no."
What's more, he does not know my name!

But I see my light come shining,
Shining, shining, shining from the west
Straight on down to the east.
Ah-anyday now, any, any old day now,
I am going to, I am going to be released, yeah!

They tell ya, tell ya every woman,
They tell ya every woman
Got to have protection,
Then they turn around and tell ya,
"No! We gotta make that-a woman fall!"
Oh, god, I swear! I swear I see,
I see my, my very own reflection
Far and away beyond, way, way beyond
These old walls!

That's right! I see, I see my light, my light,
My light is shining, shining, shining,
Shining, shining, shining, shining
From the west straight on down to the east.
And any day now, do you hear me?
Any day now, I shall be,
I am going to be released!

Any day now, any day now, any day now,
Any, any day now, oh, any day now,
Any day, any day, any day,
Any day, any day, any day,
Woah, any day, any day, any old day now,
Yeah, any day now
I am going to, I shall be released!

Woah, any day now, I shall see again!
Any day now, I shall be free again!
Any day now, they'll let me be again!
Oh, any day now, any day now, any day now,
Whoa, help me, any day, any day,
Any old day now . .

Burning energy, consuming negativity

I had a few more disturbances through last night. I don't remember my dreams. I felt a difference in my energy levels this morning and decided to make the early morning walk a little lighter. Actually it was later than usual as I slept longer. I obviously needed more sleep but .... Anyway I have noticed too my mood has lowered. There is a negativity and that sense of loss again. Massive loss. I can't really identify the detail. It's just that nothing will ever be the same even yesterday will never happen again and time is passing.
I felt last night a burning energy and wondered if that's the mania again. I felt edgy, wanting something but not knowing what, feeling lonely and yet wanting my own space.
I wonder if this is more of the same thng - highs and then a drop into the low.
But I received a call this morning from a friend and we were talking abuot acceptance and daily experiences and ups and downs and it was me who was saying all these things. As I heard myself I could engage with it and my mood has certainly lifted. I thank my Higher Power for sending me the calls each time. Like the call last evening as I drove home. I received a call from a woman who is absolutely crumbling under the emotional confusion of being in a relationship. I can hear her denial of being needy and yet the pain she is in and turnig that into anger. I heard her and I heard myself. And that is what I would like to heal before even venturing into meeeting someone else. I want to feel worthy to meet a person and not feel the absolute need to have sex with them in case they go away. I can see how I thin I am bad and unworthy so they would not just want to be friends with me and get to know the likes and dislikes. After all isn't everyone just "doing it". And yes I do see a society in teh West that actually is excessive. There is little patience and little awareness and everything is fast, fast, fast. Wanting things just so and now! Demanding, selfish. But I would like to grow away from that. Slow everything down. And when boredom does flit in - be aware of it and rather than let the devlish naughty demanding me slip through that side door, contemplate the boredom. Turn towards the contentment, gratitude, peace, love etc. Ask for help. It's a very powerful force. I can see it more clearly here today.
And I love the way that life is a series of experiences - every day, every minute. Sometimes positive, sometimes negative. But when I say negative that doesn't mean bad. There are difficulties when negativity, that is what I mean by that. Everything has a value, black, white, good, bad, easy, difficult. But Negative seems to demand more energy somehow.
It's such a relief to be able to sense this again. It's so lovely to be able to be so "in touch" again. It was gone for a while to the point of wanting to be dead. It's frightens me that it took over so completely and all I could see was blackness.
Today I have faith. I would like to try and remember that when that difficulty washes over me again that I can call someone else too for some support. But it's amazing how my Higher Power, the Universe operates. Thank you Universe.
I invite growth and change readily but each time I am not preapred for the immense lessons that come along. I get bored whe I am not growing and learning and instead I think it would be useful to observe that boredom and instead of looking for or inviting growth, allow myself the time to simply bob along and enjoy the simplicity. I think it happens as well when I get jealous, when others are getting clarity about things. I think I am being left out. Same with people studying and learnig things that I am not - I have the desire for more. I have the infliction of prefectionism. I have the hardship of impatience. Please Universe I am willing for these to be removed in your time. In the meantime thank you for bringing these to my attention along with my leaking anger. I will continue to observe and put the effort in to do my part in changing.

Phew love light and peace to everyone today.
Bliss
XX

Rains, wild flowers and things