My time in Spain was really a great tonic. The weather was windy and overcast for the first several days. Only really the last two days was truly hot. I was able to sit in the heat in t-shirt and shorts. Otherwise it was chilly and I was in jumper and jeans most of the time. My friends there are like a big family. I feel very embraced. They have a large finca, and so I was picking my breakfast fruit off the trees and collecting organically grown vegetables for my meals. Lovely tastes. And of course fish from the market freshly caught too. Glorious repasts. It was tempting to break my food abstinence with every meal served as if feasting. And lots of treats lying about for the children.
This family I have known now for 14 years. My friend and her partner and children moved over to the family finca just last year. She wanted to be with her mum and dad who have lived there approaching 10 years. I've always felt so included and feel very grateful to know them.
I spent a lot of time agonising over the situation at work. I got myself into quit a dark hole with my thoughts. I very quickly fall into my default of being a bad problem despite contrary evidence such as this family loving me so much and having friends and work colleagues who say they enjoy working with me and find me very professional etc.
I feel very unhappy at work but learning how that infiltrates every area of my life. I am seeing how I put too much emphasis on work and it can create imbalance. So I am hoping to see how to wear work loosely.
It is upsetting to see so many radical changes that do not seem to be for the best but I need not to take that so much to heart. I hope to be able to go with the flow, be flexible whilst remaining dependable and reliable.
It was difficult returning to work but for these 2 days I was there I went with the flow and was jolly in my disposition. I can take my frustrations and incredulity outside of work to good friends who just listen without being deeply embroiled in the situation.
I know it will pass and I will ave gained a lot from the experience.
I'm so very glad that you feel so safe and peaceful with the psychotherapist. A gentle approach seems important to you.
He seems to have gained your trust already.
And I hope that your time with P is fun and relaxing too.
Having made a choice to abstain from any relationships over the next year I feel relieved. I seem to get muddled in my choices and need some time out to reflect upon this. I would love to meet someone who is truly loving and someone I can truly love. As the song says - the greatest thing in life we learn is to love and be loved in return.
I think I need this time out though to spend some time developing self love. I am very hard on myself. Negative and self-hating. This has to alter more than it has already. over the years I have changed and much more self loving than I was. But it creeps in so very easily and this has created dreadful tensions in both my choices of parnters in the past and then within the relationship once established.
It's a long but very interesting journey of personal growth .....
More to come and every day is an adventure.
This family I have known now for 14 years. My friend and her partner and children moved over to the family finca just last year. She wanted to be with her mum and dad who have lived there approaching 10 years. I've always felt so included and feel very grateful to know them.
I spent a lot of time agonising over the situation at work. I got myself into quit a dark hole with my thoughts. I very quickly fall into my default of being a bad problem despite contrary evidence such as this family loving me so much and having friends and work colleagues who say they enjoy working with me and find me very professional etc.
I feel very unhappy at work but learning how that infiltrates every area of my life. I am seeing how I put too much emphasis on work and it can create imbalance. So I am hoping to see how to wear work loosely.
It is upsetting to see so many radical changes that do not seem to be for the best but I need not to take that so much to heart. I hope to be able to go with the flow, be flexible whilst remaining dependable and reliable.
It was difficult returning to work but for these 2 days I was there I went with the flow and was jolly in my disposition. I can take my frustrations and incredulity outside of work to good friends who just listen without being deeply embroiled in the situation.
I know it will pass and I will ave gained a lot from the experience.
I'm so very glad that you feel so safe and peaceful with the psychotherapist. A gentle approach seems important to you.
He seems to have gained your trust already.
And I hope that your time with P is fun and relaxing too.
Having made a choice to abstain from any relationships over the next year I feel relieved. I seem to get muddled in my choices and need some time out to reflect upon this. I would love to meet someone who is truly loving and someone I can truly love. As the song says - the greatest thing in life we learn is to love and be loved in return.
I think I need this time out though to spend some time developing self love. I am very hard on myself. Negative and self-hating. This has to alter more than it has already. over the years I have changed and much more self loving than I was. But it creeps in so very easily and this has created dreadful tensions in both my choices of parnters in the past and then within the relationship once established.
It's a long but very interesting journey of personal growth .....
More to come and every day is an adventure.
