Grrrrr

I just don't know what it is I want to say in this essay. It's the evaluation that is taking over. I need to describe the theories and the research. And then I can evaluate. But I don't know how to describe the theories first. It sounds so school age. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
It seems worse than any other essays or the research report. I think I had an idea of a direction before now but this time I am completely stuck. I just keep staring balnkly at the TV which I ahve to have quietly on in the background. I just can't study in complete silence. Apparently that is a dyslexic symptom. I have my assessment booked for 20 March but that will depend on the OU funding it as I couldn't afford it. £300!!!
Right back t the essay. If describe the theories I will be doing it in the same order as the text as it is developed in a lgical manner. Is there anything wrong with that. I can see the point.
Attribution theories have been developed as a way to understand how people make sense of other people's behaviours. That's it! That's my starting line.
Right - yep - done that now what. Added a biy about evloutionary psychology. Don't need to evaluate yet but need to come back to that point at some time. So now what. ... There are a number of different ways of understanding attribution theory. (this in itself raises a query for me) Attribution theory isn't just one sound theory there are a number of different ways of explaining attribution theory. Right off to add that now.
This is such a boring blog - it's just a place to try and sound out my thoughts. How weird. Why can't I do that on the actual draft???
Back shortly ....
Well haven't done much more - skype with M. I enjoy our chats in whatever format.
Wow wow wow. I have been offered the job at the P. I am so so pleased. I did feel good aftet the interview. I really did feel that I presented the best of me to the best of my ability. I asked for feedback from my interview and Peter said that they had been impressed with my enthusiasm and passion, my motivation and alertness and wanting to do the job.They were impressed with my work experience too both with the P, ANA and also the experience in a different field, i.e. Nexus and harm minimisation and how that's a new dynamic to bring to this position. P was pleased with my confidence on the days I worked with him and the feeback he received from team members. The way I was confident in group despite not having worked in group situations for a while. I was immediaetly able to reflect back. And also I was able to reflect back to him after the process group. His concern was my living location and the worry about my travel. He said they decided it was my responsibility but he is concerned he doesn't want tired staff. And by the end of the year I will be in a position to apply for accreditation as I will be receiving supervision and been working the required hours. The benefits are all in the work as the working days and week will be longer by 17 hours. Phew. The pay therefore is a lot more but on an hourly rate is only £1 more. Boo hoo. So my financial situation will not improve.
J very very kindly has offered to help with buying a new car and will also help selling my current car. For some reason that fills me with fear. Yes it makes sense to get a diesel car. But to get an older car just seems silly yet I can't afford to get a newer one. Well it would make sense to address that issue when this one has a new MOT which will be in June.
Oh they were also impressed at the questions I asked - I had done some research and also asked them what they liked about working for the P.
I have a new job.
P has called back and no they will definately not go up. He has gone at the top amount to offer me a job.
Oh now can I get on with my blinking essay.
I negotiated - that is big stuff! I wonder if I could call my dad and ask his advice about the car?
I wonder if he would lend me the money? No I wouldn't want to be beholden to him in that way.
Maybe it would be worth calling J B to ask what he thnks about getting a car? After all he is an expert in his field.... I want to arrange to go and visit him and Jan just to chat about my mum and have a coffee. He is a lovely lovely guy but mainly because he adored my mum so much.
I am bursting with excitement and fear. It's like an explosion in my stomach. I feel like I can't contain it. It feels childlike.
I have wanted this job for a while. I went for it before and wasn't ready. I am now very capable I believe. I am a good employee and have a far more rounded experience than when I started. I am so glad I have worked in harm reduction and have that lvel of experience to draw from as well as the more therapy based abstinence experience. Yippppppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Right essay essay essay

Getting Started ha!

I had a dream that I was relief staff for the job that I wanted to get. I had had the interview and just waiting to hear. Then a job that I had done earlier in the year was seemingly going wrong. It had been handed over to one of the permanent staff and I wanted to tell the management blaming him. Anyway I didn't, I explained the problem and asked if there was anything that the compnay could do to rectify the situation. It meant paying for family insurance for the customer. It was a travel company. Ugh horrid memories of that business. There was a large room busy with travel agents chatting on the phone. And a seperate room for the admin. It reminded me of British Airways, when I worked for Sovereign and Enterprise Holidays when BA still owned them. Good experience. This is probably on my mind because Adrienne is coming over from OZ and we are meeting up fo the first time in about 36 years. Gosh!
I got up and LouLou was sitting at the top of the stiars. I guessed she needed to go out as a priority so I took her for a walk and all before breakfast. Feel controlled about that. I am in control of my food. I need to let go of that. I have had breakfast now. It was quite a large bowl of porridge.
This is boring. I'm off.