A much posted quote I believe .... Anais Nin.
An erotic writer of French-Cuban origin. It seems I need to read some of her work. She published her journals. I guess it's common practise. Mine are published here for people to read.
Interestingly I was reading http://littlegirlyone.wordpress.com/2012/03/06/rage-and-ds-and-me-part-2/
and this is my reply to her blog entry "I wonder if perhaps there is no box anymore. And further to Robert’s comment “the first step to knowing is admitting you don’t know”, I think this can often be the most emotionally challenging, even painful. The next step surely must be the conscious discovery and putting into action new ways.
I was reminded recently (and indeed wrote some thoughts on this on my own Blog)
unconsciously incompetent
consciously incompetent
consciously competent
unconscioulsy competent
I see these of phases we go through as we walk along our trajectory of living. Interactions with people help me to become conscious of my incompetency (use the meaning lightly) and also I am drawn towards different “competencies” and can get help from those already practising them to show me. Sometimes deeper forces draw me more towards one style of competency rather than another and this is how I learn and grow. Sometimes the learning is painful simply because it’s not a healthy choice for me, sometimes it is painful because it challenges and it’s not easy to take the sacrifices.
With my shift from M/s, it’s given me a different type of experience. I have let go of masturbation as I know this has a powerful draw away from experiencing in the moment. I have a lot more to write on this matter but I’m deviating away from academia. I will write more on my own Blog when the time presents itself.
I’m glad you’re still writing here of your shifts …. I hope to be able to continue following you along your journey"
Ss she is making new discoveries and it was she who brought this to my attention.
She was writing about perhaps needing to change her Blog to be more in line with the changing her. I considered this too as changes occurred in me during the latter part of 2010 and early part of 2011. They were major changes away from a period of experimenting with my sexuality. It was a time of discovery and some things that are embarrassing to allow others to read unless specifically understanding through their own experiences of the practises I indulged in. However, I decided that it was too much a part of me to abandon. It was a part of my evolving self and will always now remain a part of that development. This is me - complete with a lifetime thus far of experiences. Paths that have taught me of things that I'm attuned to and other experiences that teach me to move away from them for various reasons. This does not mean that of course ways of life can not be re-visited but for the current time there are past situations and experiences that I do not wish to return to. Some of them are very compelling such as addiction and with active addiction comes certain behaviours and attitudes that have led me into situations. They can all come hand in hand. Right now I am feeling so free as a result of curbing addictive behaviours, those anyway that I'm conscious of, and I do not wish to return. So that means other behaviours and beliefs have gone too.
So I maintain this Blog as a journal - it's a trajectory and every part of it matters.
I need right now to get back to my essay before I lose the thread of the point I'm wanting to make. So far I make a point a day and I have two major points to make. I feel tired of it already this morning. Perhaps I just put together the info for the points and prepare to write it up tomorrow.
Seems disappointing as I wanted really to have it completed at least in first draft today. It also scares me as really I know I need a week per essay and work restricts that.
I will break again and complete the CRB form. A little action towards finding a better paid, fewer hours, more local job. If that's Thy will God.
To be continued .....
Bliss
X
An erotic writer of French-Cuban origin. It seems I need to read some of her work. She published her journals. I guess it's common practise. Mine are published here for people to read.
Interestingly I was reading http://littlegirlyone.wordpress.com/2012/03/06/rage-and-ds-and-me-part-2/
and this is my reply to her blog entry "I wonder if perhaps there is no box anymore. And further to Robert’s comment “the first step to knowing is admitting you don’t know”, I think this can often be the most emotionally challenging, even painful. The next step surely must be the conscious discovery and putting into action new ways.
I was reminded recently (and indeed wrote some thoughts on this on my own Blog)
unconsciously incompetent
consciously incompetent
consciously competent
unconscioulsy competent
I see these of phases we go through as we walk along our trajectory of living. Interactions with people help me to become conscious of my incompetency (use the meaning lightly) and also I am drawn towards different “competencies” and can get help from those already practising them to show me. Sometimes deeper forces draw me more towards one style of competency rather than another and this is how I learn and grow. Sometimes the learning is painful simply because it’s not a healthy choice for me, sometimes it is painful because it challenges and it’s not easy to take the sacrifices.
With my shift from M/s, it’s given me a different type of experience. I have let go of masturbation as I know this has a powerful draw away from experiencing in the moment. I have a lot more to write on this matter but I’m deviating away from academia. I will write more on my own Blog when the time presents itself.
I’m glad you’re still writing here of your shifts …. I hope to be able to continue following you along your journey"
Ss she is making new discoveries and it was she who brought this to my attention.
She was writing about perhaps needing to change her Blog to be more in line with the changing her. I considered this too as changes occurred in me during the latter part of 2010 and early part of 2011. They were major changes away from a period of experimenting with my sexuality. It was a time of discovery and some things that are embarrassing to allow others to read unless specifically understanding through their own experiences of the practises I indulged in. However, I decided that it was too much a part of me to abandon. It was a part of my evolving self and will always now remain a part of that development. This is me - complete with a lifetime thus far of experiences. Paths that have taught me of things that I'm attuned to and other experiences that teach me to move away from them for various reasons. This does not mean that of course ways of life can not be re-visited but for the current time there are past situations and experiences that I do not wish to return to. Some of them are very compelling such as addiction and with active addiction comes certain behaviours and attitudes that have led me into situations. They can all come hand in hand. Right now I am feeling so free as a result of curbing addictive behaviours, those anyway that I'm conscious of, and I do not wish to return. So that means other behaviours and beliefs have gone too.
So I maintain this Blog as a journal - it's a trajectory and every part of it matters.
I need right now to get back to my essay before I lose the thread of the point I'm wanting to make. So far I make a point a day and I have two major points to make. I feel tired of it already this morning. Perhaps I just put together the info for the points and prepare to write it up tomorrow.
Seems disappointing as I wanted really to have it completed at least in first draft today. It also scares me as really I know I need a week per essay and work restricts that.
I will break again and complete the CRB form. A little action towards finding a better paid, fewer hours, more local job. If that's Thy will God.
To be continued .....
Bliss
X
