Music Night

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdNAZ8868YE&feature=related
Smog - Vessel in Vain

I cant be held responsible for the things I say
For I am just a vessel in vain
And I cant be held responsible
for the thing I see
For I am just a vessel in vain
No boat out on no ocean
No name there on no hull
And its not a strain at all to remember
Those that Ive left behind
Theyre all standing right here beside me now
And most of them with a smile

My ideals have got me on the run
Towards my connection with everyone
My ideals have got me on the run
Its my connection with everyone

Such free reign
For a vessel in vain



Used in the brilliant film - Dead Man's ShoesWell worth a watch. Shane Meadows.
But I think I overdid him if that makes sense
A Room for Romeo Brass is also brilliant and This is England.

Bliss
xx

I knew someone who understood what it meant to dance the Tango

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=US&feature=related&hl=uk&v=Ne_2mtGEAzM

Zahra Hindi - Beautiful Tango

Beautiful tango, take me by the hand
Beautiful tango, until you make me dance
How sweet it can be, if you make me dance
How long will it last, baby if we dance?

Come to the, come to the world
Come to the, come to the world
And baby let me show you things
'Cos time is running and we can't lose,
baby come and dance we gonna make it through
'Cos we've got time
Yes we've got time

Beautiful stranger, don't want to know your name
Beautiful stranger, just want to take your hand
How sweet it can be, if you make me dance
How long will it last, baby if we dance?

Come to the place where the skin speaks
Secret words in Spanish
Where the night turns out the lights of day
For us to show some courage

So don't go, if you wanna know
Don't go, if you don't know
Don't go, if you wanna know
Don't go, don't go, don't go
Beautiful stranger, take me by the hand
Make me dance all night
I wanna take the chance
I love the way you move
And the way you
Put your hands on my hips
Are moving while you take it slow
Makes me feel like I'm on a river flow
'Cos we've got time
And yes we've got time

Beautiful stranger, I wanna loose my mind
Beautiful stranger, in the danger of your eyes
Beautiful stranger, oh oh oh oh

I remember, I remember, I remember... your

Sweet music, sweet sweet music, sweet music rising...
 

Everywhere I turn today it's bleak and heartache

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yPMdWxSxUg
Cibelle - Green Grass

Lay your head where my heart used to be
Hold the earth above me
Lay down in the green grass
Remember when you loved me

Come closer don't be shy
Stand beneath a rainy sky
The moon is over the rise
Think of me as a train goes by
Clear the thistles and brambles
Whistle 'Didn't He Ramble'
Now there's a bubble of me
And it's floating in thee
Stand in the shade of me
Things are now made of me
The weather vane will say
It smells like rain today
God took the stars and he tossed them
Can't tell the birds from the blossoms
You'll never be free of me
He'll make a tree from me

Don't say good bye to me
Describe the sky to me
And if the sky falls, mark my words
We'll catch mocking birds

Lay your head where my heart used to be
Hold the earth above me
Lay down in the green grass
Remember when you loved me
Remember when you loved me
Remember when you loved me

Goo Goo Dolls
Before it's too late

I wander through fiction to look for the truth
Buried beneath all the lies
and I stood at a distance
To feel who you are
Hiding myself in your eyes
And

Hold on before it's too late
We'll run till we leave this behind
Don't fall just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives
and the risk that might break you

Is the one that would save
A life you don't live is still lost
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real 'til it's gone

So live like you mean it
Love 'til you feel it
It's all that we need in our lives
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real 'til it's gone

It's all that we need in our lives
It's all that I need in my life

The murky waters turned tide ....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkHTsc9PU2A
I'm Yours
Jason Mruz

You're the most perfect man anyone could ever hope for. But I'm sorry you're not the perfect man for me.
- Made of Honour - So sad, what could have been.

Ugh! I torture myself. I re-read JH's emails from the USA.
As I read them again I feel so sad about the good things that I have lost and for the time being cannot regain. But as I read his emails, how I read such confusion.
I really hurt in my heart so deeply.

As I read though I really don't now what's truth and what's fabrication in JH's mind. I don't even think he fabricates with awareness all the time but who knows what's going on and that's what I have to keep reminding myself. It is not easy to know what the truth is because there was as there is so much confusion. So not knowing whether he was fully aware or not reminds me that it is not safe for me.
The thing is I so loved him when I thought he was who he said he was. And it is that man I grieve the loss of.

I hope if he is entering into another relationship then he is not doing the same things and learning to be honest because then and only will he find love. Maybe that's not what he wants.
I really liked what AV said the other day. He said he felt sorry for people that are not able to just see the one person. AV is in love with his girlfriend and vice versa. He has no desire to look at anyone else and feels such fulfillment - what's more he added, he has never wanted to look at more than the person he is with and has not needed to. AV is very content with himself, no lack of self-esteem and few issues from childhood that he carries into any relationship and he has had only 3. He does not feel a need to experiment and have loads, he is content with the love he has.
I would like to feel that with someone. I wanted to feel that with JH. I thought I was to begin with ???
Broken-hearted.


^{'Bride of the Wind', oil painting by Oskar Kokoschka, a self-portrait expressing his unrequited love for Alma Mahler (widow of composer Gustav Mahler), 1913}

 William Oliver Unrequited Love


If all perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be;
And if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.
- wuthering heights.
 
 
Unrequited Love by M.E. Gaines
 
A love that’s truly painful
…is one given…not received
Unable to be extinguished
…the heart destined to be grieved

Harboring an attachment
…too entrenched to go away
Memories keep alive the one
…deciding not to stay

Trying to get past the void
…erasing love distorted
An intervention by the heart
…demands it’s not aborted

Living with and without love
…to feel no hot or cold
Passing time as years go by
…adept at growing old

Seeking solace for the heart
…tired eyes look up above
Hoping one day to be free
…from unrequited love.




I feel very grateful amidst this because as if by magic, the Universe sends me this
~~~ Your secret blessing, Bliss, is that no matter where you go in time and space, you only ever have to be yourself - as courageous, vulnerable, bold, or afraid as you may feel - to find yourself amongst friends.
So loved,
The Universe

And then my friend AM called, chatting away about the competion date now confirmed for the sale of her house and a date is being agreed on her new house. ANd she is talking openly about a man she has met, the first in over 10 years and she is excited yet cautious. I am truly pleased for her, AM is such a lovely and lively woman and wants to share her life with someone. I realise as I listen how much harder it is when older to adjust to differences but I think truly if it's the right person it won't be difficult at all. Both will want to move together. It's just meeting that right person .....
I thought I had met JH and he was right. As the quote above says "the perfect man but not the perfect man for me".
Need to go as I have an appointment with the doctor.

Bliss
XX