Commit to me

Bliss, you're the only person who knows what's right for you.


The only one.

And if you already know what this is, commit to it. If you don't, commit to nothing.

Only you know,

The Universe

Limited attention capacity

It's one trick, Bliss, to manifest exactly what you want.

It's another to bring about something even better.

Leave the door open,

The Universe


What I want is to be able to be with my Master, my love all the time. But I know that if I trust then it will always be better than me trying to control. I can put in the footwork and am starting to think about how to do this.

The final outcome always has room for something even better. Any other thoughts on this would always be appreciated.

Master JH has returned home. I feel the sense of intense longing. I want to feel the warmth of his body, smell his essence and be close, body against body, skin on skin. I love him and adore him. I am in love with him. I am able to go beyond what have been my limitations with him.

I have been able to start facing my insecurities. My need to control my fear of being abandoned or left for someone better. Master JH has stood firm and helped me face this.

Basically I can see that being owned has helped with this. I think I have written about this before.

Anyway, this has developed further. I realise I can sense deeply my Master as his attitude or mood alters even subtly. I am very aware I don't what necessarily is going on behind the change - it's a slight or subtle change in energy that I can detect at times. probably not all the time but when I do it's so obvious to me. I am so clumsy wit this sort of thing, I am not sure how to handle this sense. So far I have been loathe to be so forthright because I am still trying to trust that my Master will respond equally as openly. So I must put my trust in the process. All I can do is remind myself to be honesty and be open.

I can say to my Master when I detect or sense a change and then share my thoughts on what I think might be behind this.

I am very very sorry that the ways in which I have reacted when my insecurities have been triggered in the past. My Masters behaviour reflects my action. He has expressed his nervousness about telling or showing me in case I react badly. This is not all there is to it though. He has his part in it too, i.e. be able to be open about everything. I think that be reserved about some things raises the question about what is the need to keep things from being in the open. Anyway I don't have answers about right or wrong ways, just learning how to be with the way things are and trusting. I am learning to trust.

And being my Master's slave contributes to being able to practice - acceptance, faith, self-worth just for starters.

To be up to date about this......

After a little while of being captured as a slave to Senor D, I was beginning to be pushed to some limits very very gently. Senor D's rules - no bad feelings, no thinking. He was conditioning me I realise.

Then I encountered Master JH. He interested me with his very simple enquiry about watching me.

Well after a brief encounter we met again at which time I enquired whether he would like me to sit at his feet as his slave to experience what this might feel like for him. This escalated so quickly. I asked Senor D to loan me to Master JH which he did for 2 weeks and in that time I started to fall in love with him. As the end of the loan approached I so wanted Master JH to wish to keep me. And so the negotiations began one evening for Master JH to acquire me from Senor D.

This will sound all so strange I am sure. And in reality it is and was. And yet it works. This of course was all taking place online in an unreal world yet real people transacting real transactions within reason.

I have kept the transcripts as a reminder of how strange this all really has been.

Master JH I think was surprised that his online requirements were met by me in my real world. And so our adventure was beginning.

Daily meetings became daily Skype conversations, became twice daily, became a weekend visit in person,became a return visit for even longer, became another long weekend visit. All the while our love developing and growing.

I am my Masters slave, his love and lover. He is my Master, my love, my lover and friend.

I would like for this to continue to grow positively and I truly believe it will and so the Universe is right - my next want is that we are together on a daily basis, everyday living. Living daily lives but it can be better than that, better than anything I can want for. I can see how we are better than simply being together. That is merely another format.

I have learnt that being in physical presence brings all sorts of sensations - sight, auditory, sensory touch, smell, taste. It is not possible in theory to be attentive to all the stimuli through all the sense at the same time. We are remarkable together because we are constantly working on consciousness. So I think we are lucky to be practicing awareness of as much incoming information as possible. Of course information becomes cognitive processes and behaviour and trips into beliefs from the past and memories, knowledge, etc etc.

Then the Skype contact is reducing sensory stimuli so making it possible to be more aware of fewer senses perhaps. And then the telephone - even fewer senses being triggered so even more concentrated consciousness. I love that we have access to all of these to practice awareness of self and between us.

So maybe being better than being together is knowing the benefit of different ways of interacting.

And we can surely bring this into our future however it unfolds.

I am feeling sorry that I removed from here some of the experiences I had with CY. I have nothing to hide from my Master but as I knew he would be reading this I removed information. Actually I will re-post but it will probably all be on one post and therefore in a jumble. But it is about being open and I can be. If I am doing things I am embarrassed or ashamed about then I should not continue doing it.

Our weekend together was just lovely. Easy. Unusual as well. Loving. Funny. Restful. Interesting. Inspiring.

We are really living as loving us and all the while he is my Master too. I am trying to just be with this to see how the two interrelate. Both have their place and yet when I am with Master JH I feel less slave and simply lover, loving and loved.

I have fear that I will be left. I trust Master JH would not do anything specifically to hurt me. This does not mean things cannot change. Right now I love and like everything about us together,about him and about me with him that I would not want to lose the connection.

Well fo today everything is great and I am happy.

Freedom through ownership

Life is where one goes, Bliss, to temporarily believe in death, fleetingly forget their power, and briefly have the Dickens scared out of them, voluntarily.


All in the name of adventure.

You're bad,

The Universe
 
What do you think this means?  Mmmm I understand that life is a big adventure. But what is meant by the rest of this message from the Universe?
temporarily believe in death - why termporarily? I believe in death - it happens but what happens after that I really don;t know. I have all sorts of theories and even some extraordinary experiences that mights suggest that death is not the end. Even though the word we use for the end of life here suggests the end.
The funny thin is the person may be dead but the spirit lives on so noone is ever truly dead. For example my mum lives on through me. Her memory and little funny ideals that I share or pass on and then hear others repeating them. For how long she lives on is indeterminable.l Hence I suppose people might like to make a mark bing enough to resonate for eternity. I think Henry VIII will resonate for eternity.
 
fleetingly forget their power - whose power? Them? The others? Who? everyone who has ever attemtpted to exert power in it's various shapes and forms. My dad, bullying men I have known, frigtening women, instituions, Governments, religious organisations. Living the adventure it is possible to feel free. perhaps this is what is meant.
 
briefly have the Dickens scare out of them, voluntarily - mmmmm well out of whom? Is this the adventureres. Explorers face the unknown and at times ths can be alarming and frightening. Huge risks without calculating the risk. This is true adventure. Trusting. And then if the person were to die - well their adventuring story lives on. Whoever they/I are/am. I am an adventurer even though in the past I considered myself boring. I take risks and without calculating the consequences sometimes, not that that is clever or something to be proud of. But I do go through the fear at times even if the fear is self inflicted, for example lack of self confidence or belief. And yes I choose or volunteer. Even a simple but lovely experience such as facing my fear of my own pride and insecurity by jumping on the front of JH's bike and him cycling me around his city. Wow what an adventure. What an experience. I feel even deeper in love with him.
 
Well I am not sure what the Universe was telling me today but that's my initial thoughts on the matter. Would like to hear anyone else's ideas on this.
 
My Master is escalating the adoration I feel. I am conditioned already.
I had a requirement to fulfill for my Master which was dropping off gradually. But he has latered the requirement slightly and as a result ignited the sexual arousal. He require that I text him when carrying out a particular function. And the moment I start writing the text  I am aroused. But not only that it is like an electric shock that starts from a very physical level but internalises. I feel his ownership of me and I adore him. I feel free through being owned because I am secure in this position (unless he gives me away but even then I am secure - just have to deal with a new Master - but of course would not be in love with him as I am in love with JH) Also though I am finding freedom with my sexuality.
I feel too private to freely express the detail of my Masters requirement - just in case someon is reading this.

Dear Universe

Can you help me to meet a very lovely man who is interesting and emotionally intelligent, available and wanting to meet me and be with me and for us to share a spiritual connection which includes fun, trust, adventure, friendship and love.

I wrote this in 2009 and wow it worked

You can choose to go, do, be, and have, and in the end you'll exclaim, shocked and bewildered, that because of all the synchronicities of your life, all the "clicks" and "coincidences," and the many happy "accidents," your bounty and good fortune must have been your destiny.


Or, you might choose to wait for a miracle, a savior, or divine intervention, and in the end you'll exclaim, shocked and bewildered, that because of all the synchronicities of your life, all the missed chances and disappointments, and the many unhappy accidents, your lack and misfortune must have been your destiny.

Bliss, do you see what the difference is?

It ain't me,

The Universe
 
Well I absolutely know this applies to me. I have a lot of fear about letting go of some things that I am not even cntent with.
I have a flat that is cheap rent and can be mine until I am no longer needing anything at all in this lifetime. It is a sort of security. However it is also a noose around my neck.
And I want to be with the man I love which means doing and being and trusting and enjoying the adventure.
When I took the plunge and went off to Spain I truly enjoyed the fact that I did it - an adventure.
So although yes some research is required, JH is worth it. The adventure is worth it!


For the past few weeks, a group of lawyers in Egypt have been calling for the famous book, The Arabian Nights, to be banned on grounds that it is obscene and promotes vice and sin. I was intrigued when the group’s spokesman tried to argue that literature such as the Arabian Nights “is acceptable in the West” and not in Egypt which has “a different culture and different religion” they said. Ironically, The Arabian Nights was produced during the Golden Age of Arabo-Islamic Literature, a period between the 8th to 13th centuries. It was not until the year 1704 that the first European version of The Arabian Nights was rendered into French.




As Islamic seminary students we were often expected to study texts like The Arabian Nights, or The One Thousand and One Nights as it is originally known in Arabic. We were told that this would provide us a key to the language of the religious texts of that time. I have to admit that most of us as young students would skip through the pages looking for the tantalising sections of the book, just those parts the Egyptian lawyers want banned. Now that I reflect on it, it’s interesting how we were asked to trace and find the ethical and moral teaching of our faith through the medium of what some are now calling “obscene”. Perhaps what may first appear to some as rigid and fixed boundaries can be shown not to be so by an appreciation of Literature from our past.



So my prayer today is:

Lord, increase us in knowledge of our past and grant us the wisdom and courage to act accordingly. Amen.

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Destiny

You can choose to go, do, be, and have, and in the end you'll exclaim, shocked and bewildered, that because of all the synchronicities of your life, all the "clicks" and "coincidences," and the many happy "accidents," your bounty and good fortune must have been your destiny.


Or, you might choose to wait for a miracle, a savior, or divine intervention, and in the end you'll exclaim, shocked and bewildered, that because of all the synchronicities of your life, all the missed chances and disappointments, and the many unhappy accidents, your lack and misfortune must have been your destiny.

Bliss, do you see what the difference is?

It ain't me,

The Universe