Ancient Blog of cornucopia

Marc Chagall





Tudeley Church - the only church to have all it's stained glass windows designed by Marc Chagall. Commissioned by Sir Henry d'Avigdor-Goldsmid and Lady Rosemary after the death of their daughter Sarah aged 21yrs. Dhe died in


   

I had heard mention of his stained glass windows in the past and he was recently brought to my attention in a different way. When a writer said that she was inspired by maby things including trying to bring Chagall paintings to life. She was a writer of magic and mystery. I am not sure which paintings particularly she was referring to .....


Angela Carter -   Taken by Jane Bown
Journalist, novelist, poet. Apparently a prolific writer but mainly discovered after her death ....

The lady and the skull
The skull
Picked quite clean
And bleached by the sun and wind
.... is starting to speak to me

The poem is about the woman trying to solve the mystery of the skull she has found
I love this idea and the rhythm of the solution ...

To give to the unnameable
The name of the unnameable
Is to give to the unnameable
And so to fix it.

Extract from The Magic Apple Tree

In the West,
the apple-trees grow
under a blue sky.
The apple trees founder
on their knees in the grass,
Toppling with fruit.
Apple is round as the round world, red
as heart's blood, fat
as my two fists together. This,
the very first apple of all,
wet, still,
with the first of the dew.
Snake made the first apple,
laid a red egg and said:
"Eat me."

Reference to the devil again?? Purifying imagery according to Andrew Motion.


Untitled

My cat
Is the snow queen,
This frigid virgin four
Winters old crooks
Her paw to wash a face
White
As starlight, twice
As cold.
She puts back
her ears like spoons
to listen to the wind
behind her.
She eats
For breakfast, hearts;
For supper, northern lights.

Quotes
You must realize that I was suffering from love and I knew him as intimately as I knew my own image in a mirror. In other words, I knew him only in relation to myself.

Aeneas carried his aged father on his back from the ruins of Troy and so do we all, whether we like it or not, perhaps even if we have never known them.






Jane Bown
I have been looking for some of her photography other than portrait photos. I guess when you become so fanout for a particular genre the "other" falls into insignificance. Poor "other"....

   

 

   

Well I do like them - she captures something in the shades or non shades. Essence of real.

I need coffee - I need to study! STUDY STUDY STUDY!!

Accidentally I came across this photographer ..
http://www.janebrownphotography.com/Gallery_new.html
Lonely!

Bliss
XX


weeeayyyy - London tomorrow.

Oh yes - Iwas supposed to meet with my friend visiting from Australia yesterday. She was out when I called and so I had to come home not knowing what we would be doing - by the time I got home it was late and the idea of driving to Osterley - and I was disappointed that she hadn't called me back. Poo. Anyway she had called me but of course all it was all muddled up because we hadn't anything definate organised. I will need to call her now but reluctant as I am feeling lazy today!!

I must I must improve my busted up commitment to my studying!! he he

Practice, practice, practice

William James said
"...if pratice did not make perfect, nor habit economize the expense of nervous and muscular energy, man would be in a sorry plight." (1890)

A Landslide of emotions

I would like to tell the story of my meeting JH.
It may seem a strange encounter to the uninitiated. A slave in SecondLife, I adored my master Senor Dante. But in his long absences I had a sort of secondary Master who was less considerate. Actually less able to develop the adoration a slave is capable of.
When I saw you sitting there JH, silently observing, I felt such warmth and an admiration. You seemed strong and yet gentle. Your very simple comment  ....

It's too early - some time I will write our story.
As I started to write I just cried and cried and cried - all the beauty and wonder of our encounter. It seems so cruel that all that is lost and gone forever. More grief. Time will heal all.

Bliss
XX

Famous unfriend

Another beautiful sunset and a FULL moon to follow it up. Not to mention the incredible blueness - with the sun just below the horizon, the sky the last two evenings has been an incredible shade of blue velvet green. My camera just cannot capture it. What kind of camera do I need to really be able to capture the colours that I am so lucky to see.

Just came across this photo and loved it! Wanted to keep it so I have. :)

A busy day at work - a wonderful walk with a friend. Oh the famous unfriend is in reference to seeing a person I once used to know. She is a very famous actress. World renowned. She and I spent some very raucous times together. I saw her this evening whilst walking with AB. I said hello. She was very gracious as always and lovely. I don't think she is in the head space to reignite the friendship and that's absolutely OK. It was just nice to see her and I am glad I stopped to say hello.
It was great to be able to walk with LouLou too. Stitches out!!!!! How sad though whilst at the vets. A woman came out really crying. Her dog had just been put to sleep. Now LouLou is very reserved with strangers. She gives little of herself unless she really knows someone. But this lady came over and LouLou gave her lots of kisses. Sensitive. The lady thanked her. I just hate the idea of having to do what she had just done.
A nice talk with JM this evening. Goddamn the bloody GP's who insensitively dish out pills that are flipping well addictive. And worse still they do not warn people! JM has been taking 6 or more Trammies a day. Opiates!  And contacted me in panic as she is having withdrawals. Quite serious withdrawals. I was able to allay some of her fears and made some suggestions to get some help and relief. Despite my best advice, JM is determined to go cold turkey. It won't do any long term damage necessarily but it can be difficult and result in going back to the pills to relieve the symptoms. Poo to GP's not being more responsible.

Thank goodness I am off now for 2 1/2 days. And one more week then I am off for an entire week. I really need it. I am burnt out. Today was a little easier as I have had time out of group for the last few days doing PD's work. But even so I left this afternoon and felt completely drained.

I am messing up with my diary as well. I am double booking things and am completely forgetful. I am not getting chores done and some of them are admin things that need urgent attention. Poo.
At least my mood is a little lifted. Things are not quite so bleak this evening. But my mind is chaotic and "uncalm"

Oh and Goddamn CY. Funny but also not - texts at silly hours of the morning. I feel pleased that I am respectful of myself and not entertaining inappropriateness from anyone. I turned my phone off. This morning I had to laugh at the texts sent but still glad not to enter into the madness.
I do not want crumbs and to ensure that I don't get crumbs I need to make sure that I have the courage not to accept less!
I miss JH - a week without contact. I don't miss the way I was feeling. I don't miss the messiness. I miss the lovely things and the fun. I know the pain will be getting easier and easier and healing. It's a deep wound.
I did hope that he is making changes. That he doesn't utilise contacts with women and ruin any chance of discovering the love he feels with ES. I feel sad and angry still that he fell out of love with her then met me then fell out of love with me and re-met her. Along the way there have been women he has loved or wondered about. I hope he does not continue to behave in this way with ES if she does not want that kind of relationship. Instead better to meet women that are OK and comfortable with that way of being. And not need to lie or hurt someone who wants something with more commitment - or trigger insecurities so that it ends up being awkward. There is room for everyone's wants and needs to be met and there is not a right way or a wrong way. It's just about making sure everyone is fully aware and making fully informed choices. In that way no one has to be fooled.

Dan Flavin - that was the other artist I saw - Serpentine Gallery - I can't remember which year - it must have been around 2000 I think.

 

   

It was the first time I had seen anything like this. I was both entertained and bemused. The wall of green really captivated me. It was quite a powerful force as a first encounter. I walked into the room and it hit me. It seemed so solid. The green sort of fused together in it's glow in the gaps. The gaps were filled in a solidness even though I knew differently. No heat of course but a real glow. And then the tubes of light leaning against the corner, light being diffused via the white walls. Oh and the blue room/tunnel. That was strange to walk through. People seemed to disappear and get smaller as the blue light swallowed them up. I walked through and felt consumed by the blue. I liked the sensation even though it was all a strange non-visual visual sensation. I walked through again. And it was right next to lots of yellow!!

My tootsies are soooooo cold. Whilst the sun is shining during the days recently, there is a real chill by sunset time. And my car this morning was completely iced over by Jack Frost


Bliss
XX

It comes from the glory

Gosh! What a day PD's mum died today. 92 years old. It sounded as if she died very peacefully. Poor PD. His mum was such a major part of his life! He wants some space and I understand that.
7000- confirmed dead in Japan. 10,000 still missing. The 200 brave technicians sacrificing themselves to try and avoid a nuclear disaster at the nuclear reactor plant, damaged after the earthquake.
What a bleak world right now! Seems like our little planet is in a bit of a negative spin right now. A lot of people are dealing with difficulties it seems - of different degrees. But greyness is all around. I hope the yellow shines through very soon.

There was just no time at work to even go to the flipping toilet. At least the HD has agreed for extra staffing all next week. And then I am off for a week! And PD will be away too. I refuse to cancel my leave again. No way!!!
I desperately need this leave. I am feeling too unwell to really be working now. I wonder if they will actually listen to my request for a pay rise? I keep getting told how much they value me and feel safe when I step up to PD's job. So where is the real recognition?
SH won't step up to it when I am away. Don't blame her at all.

I met someone today who I felt so much admiration for. A young woman so honest and with a strong desire for change. No financial support from anywhere but willing to spend her last penny on getting well. I gave her a book and she was amazingly grateful. If I could give her free treatment I would.
I hope she can use some of the suggestions I have passed on. She deserves a change of direction and will be realising her glory some time very soon.
I feel very pleased to have met her.

I am due to meet up with AC and hopefully CC tomorrow. I need to call but am so exhausted after today. Can't be bothered to speak with anyone. I will call at 21:00 :))

Too tired to write anymore
Bliss
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