Phew

Good morning
Well I have made an acceptable start on my essay. This seems to be a pattern 2 or 3 days trying to get started and then a day per section - intro which helps get me on my way. Although there is sugegstion that the intro is the last thing to be written. That was how I did my research report. Wrote the content of the report first. That madde sense to me.
Anyway yes - intro then another say for each key point int he main section and finally the conclusion. How the hell will I do an exam - 3 essays in 3 hours. The sample papers don't suggest a word count. I really need to keep the exam to the back of my mind. I can feel very dispondent about it and then think what's the point of the course as I will fail anyway with the exam. The exam coutns for 50% of the overall mark.
Yesterdays job offer news threw me. That contributed to me doing absolutely nothing worthwhile at all towards my essay. For the enxt essay - well it's another report of a qualitative research project I might be able to be off as it will be the last week at work. I can try and organise to utilise the last of my leave. I was thinking maybe I would take the money as I am so so so so so broke. Well what I mean by that is I haven't any spare money after paying the bills.
And then for the last essay TMA06 - blimey - well I will have to see what's going on at that time. I need a full week to do these flipping essays. Hence the OU schedule ina week for them!!! Doh!
Right that little distraction over - back to it. I think I might wash up first. Need a bath too. I stink!
At least this way it's a healthier distraction - yes I know I said I was off but .....
Before when I need a distraction from my frustration of not knowing what or how to do the next sentence, I would get up and snack. I am in recoery from my over eating now. Only day 2 after having extra handfuls of raisins whilst preparing my dinner. That was happening regularly so evnetually I was able tog et honest with myself and declare my 4 week abstinence broken and start again. This is a real break through. Before now I would have just discounted it and claimed to be in recovery or abstinence whichever word seems more appropriate at the time. But the little lie would keep me in denial and eventually I would be allowing a snack here and a snack there and before long over eating again. My abstinence is 3 meals a day nothing between. At this point I am not worrying too much about size or content of the meals. And that has helped so much.
Allowing myself sweet things again has removed the good food bad food thing for me. There are no foods that aren't allowed. All food is simply food. But I can have them only within a meal time.
I don't feel deprived. However, after a nice meal I do want more more more. And I have to really sit with that. I am not sure if it's food cravings or emotions or habitual. Maybe a little of all.
Anyway this blog is an alternative to snacking. Snacking was good int he sense that it was a quick sharp distraction, didn;t take me too far away from the procvessing of thoughts and the desk. Walking Loulou is good for more processing but takes me away and whe a good thought comes to mind I am not able to write it down and usually there are so many more thoughts along the walk that i forget really good and important things.
Washing up is OK, thinking space and local to the desk. But somehow it doesn't stimulate me.
This can take longer ...... ?
Right right right really am off to wash up or something ha ha ha ha ha ha.
I have started a sentence and don't know the direction or particular point I want to make. Actually I think I do know the point. The point is that Heider claimed that people search out causes to explain people's behaviour. His experiment with Simmel using cartoon shapes shows how people choose to explain the movements by giving them human traits and purpose. He went onto claim that people attribute behaviours to either internal or exteranl causes. And this has further been researched which adds weight to the concept because it seems valid people go on to enhance the study with further exploration - needs much better wording than that. If only I could bring in personal thoughts and experiences such as the way people tend to give human qualities to their pets - what do we trendily call that these days humanising objects and inhuman animals. I wonder how I could bring that in?????
Sorry blog for being so boring. This is unlikely to become a best seller huh? But secretly, I don't who it si a secret from, I want to be spotted and this be turned into a book. The workings of a brain trying to work!!!! Ha ha ha.
I heard of someone's blog being "spotted" and turned into a book. Why not. I am just not a writer. Language is basic and it's literally my thoughts as I think them. No great literary cntent or even intellectual greatness.
It is me though when I can drop the ego who is writing for my audience. Ha ha ha
Right right right I am off - see how easily distracted away I am from effort.
Byeee for now


How boring ths blog is ..............................................