Much love from your invisible friends,
The Universe
I would love to be better able to sit with my own company and contemplate or meditate in calm and peace. I crave connection with people. Hence I think it was so easy to get absorbed into SL. I never ever had to be alone and sit with a single difficult feeling again.
I was learning as I went along but I am yet to get to a point when I am able to balance being out in the world with quiet in the Universe. I work towards that I think.
Slave training. Straps and ropes.
Master requires me to stroke myself each time I go for a pee. I described to him this morning what I actually do. I had not asked his permission but had evolved his original instruction. He said I must stroke myself from my arsehole slowly through my slit each time I go. And I must drink water with each cup of coffee I take.
At work it is usually quite rushed but as I am home it was once again very slow.
After peeing I am not to clean myself. I wet my two fingers in my mouth first and then run my fingers very slowly from my arsehole moving so slowly forward. I imagine looking up at Master into his eyes as he looks down on me. This is renders me very vulnerable. Both that I am doing this voluntarily and it leaves me most exposed in this very private act. As I move my fingers forward slowly sometimes a finger slips into the opening of my pussy and I can feel just how wet I am aroused now by the very thought of going for a pee.
I move slowly onto my very erect clit and as my fingers move over my clit it flicks back into place. I cannot help but close my eyes with the sensation at this point.
As I write this I can feel the arousal in my nipples, they are aching with their erection and my clit and pussy are sensitive to every move as I sit here in the chair.
Drinking water was almost a torture as I drink little usually but it is becoming a pleasurable discomfort and going to the toilet is now an instant reflex arousal.
Master wants to watch me. Today he asked for a photo. Despite my problem with photo's - just lack of self esteem I sent him one.
his slave is very much at the forefront of my being right now. I do wonder if it's when Master is more dominant and Masterly generally and I am to be available at all times to meet his needs. Sometimes though I wonder if the slave is more prominent in me and this then arouses Master. Maybe it just alters between us.
Oh my pussy and clit are aching.
I feel embarrassed to be writing this but have committed to recording my experiences. I have years of handwritten journals for reading someday. And now this - which opens up the opportunity for an audience.
Tomorrow I must study more. It is so distracting to be sensual and sexual. Mmmmm mmmmm.
Bliss
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