That there are planets where everyone knows each other's names? Where flying comes naturally to all? And some have moons that hum lullabies each night?
Yet as spectacular as the infinite choices are, would you further believe that there's still quite a queue, several moonbeams long, to get back "there"? Where for every heart beating, there's a legend in the making.
You have no idea.
"NEXT!"
The Universe
I am trying to remember that when I am irked or irritated by someone else it is something within me and that I would like to practice accepting peoples differences and be able to smile at their nuances.
I got very angry with a work collegue this week, V. It seemed to me that she was getting herself very involved with 2 of the female clients whilst PD was away. One was an anorexic and the other has some social services involved. V was spinning the tale to suit what she thoght we shpould be doing and un dermining what I was saying and organising. On Friday she came back into the team without knowing the full story and determined that things should be done her way, when out of the office she made decisions based on what she wanted us to be doing.
I didn;t have the full facts to hand so when I was angry I could not and did not want to make statements that were not accurate so let her argue her case onl. On Saturday I went abouet getting all the facts together.
I told her I was angry that she had made decisions against what was already organised and in place. I said it wasn;t about the detail but that I needed to express my anger and preference. I said that I could hear she had some impotant and good suggestions which I would pass on to pD.
When I gave her the facts she started then blmaing the Consultant Psychiatrist for not informeing her correctly. Grrrr - can feel my annoyance as I write this.
Anyway - what I realised is that the more V wanted to get involved and seemingly undermine me the less I listened to her suggestions and actually worked in the complete opposite manner. I was also worried about us getting too involved with something that could result in us making grave mistakes but can see in hindsight that we could really really offer some good support for our client.
I do not like how I acted throughout this even though at the end of the day I was accurate in my facts.
I want to learn from this please Universe. I need to think more on it and write more about it.
Today my Master set an assignment for me -
I would like you to use your iphone
(cam app, self timer, if you like stitch too) to make me a minimum of 5 pictures in very different approach, each of good quality, featuring your bare breasts.
At least one out of these should show you on all fours.
I need you to review each pic yourself, and pick favourites.
I would like these on sunday eve before we speak, through email.
I would like these on sunday eve before we speak, each in a seperate email.
Please let me know you received and understood, or feel free to ask me for any clarification.
On receiving such an assignment I have mixed feelings. I am excited about being asked to do something that potentially could please Master. At the same time there is all the fear of not being good enough and then also the use of the photos. I trust Master fully and know that he would not harm me in anyway and only do what is right for me us him.
Having looked through a blog recently of sexually explicit photos I did wonder if he wanted them to be used in this way.
Here are his comments on receipt of the completed assignment:
Mmm thank you for your efforts my love and slave-
There are some succesful pics there that I really love, thank you-
Here's what I think:
Flash is not a very good idea.. It is always too harsh and kills every sense of atmosphere.
I like the way you look in 'varried 060'- I love that you wear my collar and I love the view in your mirror- Too bad that your breasts dont show, but I like your butt, too- :)
I like Varried 61, too. and 56, although not entirely sharp.
I like you holding your breasts, very much- Wonder how it would look wihout the flash..
I have some suggestions:
Reclining on your sofa- probably legs up on some-
On all fours from different angles- lower, hightr, front, side, etc.- hollow your back please, no flash..)
Thank you my love and my slave, looking forward to seeing you soon-
I am surprised that being a slave is so arousing for me. I enjoyed taking the pictures even though I am anxious about how awful I look.
I am eager to learn how to please Master and will attempt to improve upon the photos for him.
I found looking through web pages with sexually explicit photos with Master and my love, very arousing indeed.
It was interesting discovering the photos he found pleasing and his reasons for it.
I have issues of insecurity that what he sees is what he would prefer other tyhan me and I do not fit the women he is looking at at all. My love and Master (Ithink we were mainy lovers at that time) commented on how some of the photos were aesthetically pleasing but some were because thats what he wanted from me or for himself.
I could relate.
I also found it embarrassing to try and say which ones I liked. I think the embarrassment is that by saying that I liked any might make me look peverted.
This is all very new territoty for me. But all of it is very sexually exciting.
WIw I am even finding writing this quite embarrassing. I am a novice at being so explicit about what pleases me or not.
I like being a salve as well as I have choice removed. I must do as required of me which takes me into realms of discovery - things I might balk at or say no to incase I was thought of as bad. The demand on me itself is exciting as well as the act involved. Master is very gentle with me I think.
I am being obedient again this week with my requrements - ie stroking myself whenever i visit the toilet.
I must drink water with coffee which goes against everything I have ever done!!!!!
Some times Master is more prominent than others.
I was advised by Snaga that with her lover/Master relationship she always has that she is slave and lover in mind in all instances.
I am trying to learn this.
Sometimes the slave is more prominent in me and at other times I am lover and in love and the slave is very quiet.
I feel very much the slave at the moment - waiting for Master to be available to see me. I feel love. But I also feel that I have few if any rights. It's amazing how this gets stronger the more sexually aroused I am.
It's as if I let go of control more. Master takes full power over me at this point. I would do anything and silence my enquiring mind too.
When I have wondered mometarily if Master is telling me openly about his day then as a lave I remember I have no right to know and then stop even the thinking. As lover the thought can linger and fester.
I know this is based on still learning to trust competely adn just as being open and honest entirely is a learning curve for my love JH, then for me to trust is a very very new experience, This all is taking time.
Trust I think is earnt. Behaviours and attitudes reveal the person and whether they are trustworthy.
I need to be gentle with myself and aloow myself to grow this with time and evidence.
Just funny though how as a slave I can know my lace instantly and curb the thinking.
I think this would make keeping a person in slave mode attractive but of course the love element would surely diminish?
It is an interesting journey that I am making. I am sure a lot of people would find this quite peverse or worrying. I find this completely differently.
Master is not cruel and there is nothing addictive about this entire relationship I believe.
I find it loving and lovely.
I am now waiting longingly for Master to summon me and my lover to be with me.
Bliss
X
No comments:
Post a Comment