I think I am posting this tonight for the sake of posting something. I am becoming emptier by the day.
I noticed at work how little I was tracking the group. I felt deep sadness listening to one client and incredibl irritated by another. In fact I noticed how easily irritated I was by A and how disintereted I was generally.
I was hopping mad with PD but for little reason. He was out all day at a management meeting. He did not ask me to stand in for him. On the one habd this was good as often I don't embrace the stress the job brings and also that PD wants to redo everything himself. He has probably heard me loud and clear on this. Furthermore, I have been mentioning how affected I currently am by hormones.
BUT - (there is a no-win here)
I also like my ego stroked by being asked. How painful it is to keep admitting this sort of thing to myself, I get a fix out of being a someone for a while when he's away. And then the sense of achievement hen we pull it off even if it isn't entirely PD's way.
But I also have stress and panic in case I get it wrong in PD's view.
So anyway in my grumbly state I refused to do anything remotely connected - except at the very end of the day Dr B asked me if I would assess one of his clients. Of course I could. The client was very very resistant!!
Looks change, Bliss.
Beauty lasts.
Gorgeous,
The Universe
I noticed at work how little I was tracking the group. I felt deep sadness listening to one client and incredibl irritated by another. In fact I noticed how easily irritated I was by A and how disintereted I was generally.
I was hopping mad with PD but for little reason. He was out all day at a management meeting. He did not ask me to stand in for him. On the one habd this was good as often I don't embrace the stress the job brings and also that PD wants to redo everything himself. He has probably heard me loud and clear on this. Furthermore, I have been mentioning how affected I currently am by hormones.
BUT - (there is a no-win here)
I also like my ego stroked by being asked. How painful it is to keep admitting this sort of thing to myself, I get a fix out of being a someone for a while when he's away. And then the sense of achievement hen we pull it off even if it isn't entirely PD's way.
But I also have stress and panic in case I get it wrong in PD's view.
So anyway in my grumbly state I refused to do anything remotely connected - except at the very end of the day Dr B asked me if I would assess one of his clients. Of course I could. The client was very very resistant!!
Looks change, Bliss.
Beauty lasts.
Gorgeous,
The Universe
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