Feel like I need to burst out today

Sitting here trying to hold energy in ......
I want to be doing something today - having an experience!!!
Perhaps this is the manic again????


I am astounded - someone who recently started corresponding with me - today it becomes apparent that there are issues. Someone who has been abused as a child, possible addiction. Fucking hell is it in everyone or do they seek me out????

Suddenly I felt very lonely again - alone and lonely. And I said out loud I do not feel happy at the moment. Will this ever pass? Will it stay away so that I can feel joy just by seeing the planet from the angle I see it at? How has this happened??? Simply through the trauma being stirred. Why couldn't it have worked out differently? Why couldn't he have been an honest truly loving man?

Mr Lily was the art teacher who told me at age about 12 that I was doing it all wrong. He only had time for those with natural talent - I just wanted to be taught because there's so much t get out of me. I need help being shown how - that's the way I am but it doesn't make me any less capable. Does it?
Bliss
X


Steenie