My mood is down. :(
I have now got the out of hours number in case I feel I need extra support. This is a must when my thoughts are so dark as they were on Sunday. I just felt dreadful. I felt better yesterday but didn't like how over zealous I was about some things. I think this was a little hyper stuff emerging. It just all feels strange at the moment.
Furthermore I feel bloated and uncomfortable yet again. I am hoping it's a random blip and short term. It was the ongoing development of this last December that led me to be so so miserable. And I was unable to manage my food plan, combined with all the painful elements of the relationship I was trying to negotiate through. Pooh I don;t want to feel like that again right now or ever preferably. For today I need to manage my food plan regardless of the disappointment of the internal working which I think are hormone related. My body is not in my control that's for sure and this is breaking news! Why? Because I always thought I had control if I was starving myself or using bulimia. What I didn't have control over was my appetite. Now I realise that I have no control over my body at all. I can put healthy action in and my body will certainly respond but I do not have control. I especially realise this from my studies.
With every little cell managing it's own homeostasis. All I can do to help is provide healthy nutrition an exercise and be out in the sunshine or rain etc.
The rest is all up to the inner Universe. Amazing.
With that I need to get on and study as I am slightly behind. When at home I am so distracted. When I study at work am focused but I run out of time.
This is hard working and studying! I would never underestimate anyone studying to degree or higher. I would definitely rate an OU student as determined and disciplined above and beyond.
Bliss
XX
I have now got the out of hours number in case I feel I need extra support. This is a must when my thoughts are so dark as they were on Sunday. I just felt dreadful. I felt better yesterday but didn't like how over zealous I was about some things. I think this was a little hyper stuff emerging. It just all feels strange at the moment.
Furthermore I feel bloated and uncomfortable yet again. I am hoping it's a random blip and short term. It was the ongoing development of this last December that led me to be so so miserable. And I was unable to manage my food plan, combined with all the painful elements of the relationship I was trying to negotiate through. Pooh I don;t want to feel like that again right now or ever preferably. For today I need to manage my food plan regardless of the disappointment of the internal working which I think are hormone related. My body is not in my control that's for sure and this is breaking news! Why? Because I always thought I had control if I was starving myself or using bulimia. What I didn't have control over was my appetite. Now I realise that I have no control over my body at all. I can put healthy action in and my body will certainly respond but I do not have control. I especially realise this from my studies.
With every little cell managing it's own homeostasis. All I can do to help is provide healthy nutrition an exercise and be out in the sunshine or rain etc.
The rest is all up to the inner Universe. Amazing.
With that I need to get on and study as I am slightly behind. When at home I am so distracted. When I study at work am focused but I run out of time.
This is hard working and studying! I would never underestimate anyone studying to degree or higher. I would definitely rate an OU student as determined and disciplined above and beyond.
Bliss
XX
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