Saturday 23 July 2011

Werdly diversifying days

Transactional Analysis: Drama Triangle Of Rescuer, Persecutor And Victim


Transactional Analysis is a therapeutic and analytical system developed by Eric Berne. It focuses on personality, social interaction and therapeutic analysis. Part of the system looks at the games people play, and the roles they assume in these games. There are three basic roles:
The Rescuer
We take on the role of rescuer when we perceive another person to be hopeless and helpless, in other words a victim. As part of this role we take full responsibility for that person’s well being, making them feel as though they can’t help themselves. By adopting this role we keep others dependent on us and make them feel that they can’t cope without us.
The Persecutor
Persecutors start off as rescuers or victims. Because rescuers have assumed total responsibility for a victims well being, the victim will ask questions of the rescuer. The rescuer tries to solve the questions and give answers, but becomes increasingly frustrated when the victim rejects all of these answers as being unhelpful. Rescuers then begin to persecute the victim. This emphasises the fact that we shouldn’t try to rescue people who don’t need to be.
The Victim
Victims are often helped by rescuers when they haven’t asked to be. There are situations in life where people are victims, for example someone who has been burgled or assaulted, but in transactional analysis the victim contributes to the game. They pass all responsibility for their well being to the rescuer, and don’t try to overcome this oppression. Victims eventually persecute their rescuers.
Where does this game begin? According to Berne families are ‘the training ground’ for the Drama triangle with children assuming the role of the victim and parents the rescuers/persecutors. Examples would be parents deciding on what friends a child should have, or reminding them that adults “know what’s best”. We may take these beliefs into adulthood. If we don’t want to be a victim we must stand up for ourselves and demand not to be rescued. Rescuers may struggle to take no for an answer because they feel guilty when not playing the rescuing game. Victims therefore have to be determined!
Are you a victim or a rescuer in Berne’s game of life?

I start with this as I went along to a group of 4 (including me) with the idea that we would discuss the beginnings of writing a play. Instead as I really quite expected the discussion was all about personal experiences, mainly of abusive backgrounds.
It did feel a little like a busman's holiday to be truthful. My choice to sit and listen and participate verbally less and less. With one woman I felt an intolarnce towards and the first sign of this was when I detected a sharpness in my disagreement with her. I quietened myself and elected to listen more and observe myself and my emotions. To be a part of the little group, I decided to ask enquiring questions rather than try and protest my disagreemtn. What did I notice? I noticed my strong aversion to the sweeping statements that I hear from this woman. I felt a subtle control from her. I think her meaning was well intended but what I felt so strongly against was the ways in which I was told my emotions and how I should fee.. Also the generalisations were boxing. I have felt this with PS and B and notice how in my feeling boxed, I get defensive and want to push a way out. I try keeping these people away and then feel so bad.
What I also want to acknowledge is the wonderful sense of connection I feel with people though. Aware of my reactions to this lady I was able to adjust myself and find the positivity in her. And then the immediate positive connection with KJ - beautiful woman. And L last nigth too. I have a vision of these two women in my mind that I would love somehow to trust myself to transfer onto paper - right from my minds eye. I will try. KJ needs to be bright pastels on black paper. L needs to be a pencil sketch.
I will have Blade Runner on whilst trying to produce my memory of wonderful folk onto paper.

Bliss
XX

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