Principality

A lot of emotions I've felt last few days and last weekend. Grief - mum, dad, me. By me I have thought about my inability to really stand by my principles for myself. Particularly with men and ending up tolerating situations and ways that just do not fit me. Last night I was crying really missing my dad. I needed to find some photos for my qualifying today and gosh seeing pics of him and I and then wondering how it got to be so far away when he married Theresa. It's all so baffling. I have been talking a lot to him this past week. I have been relieved he's dead and now I'm beginning to miss this ideal version of him. Also I've really felt the remorse and guilt for all of my.behaviours and the impact on him. My dad was angry and stayed angry right to the bitter end - with me. I regret how people feel because of me. My dad was angry with me for existing it seemed to me. So much hurt and now loss of him to ever find out how to be friendly together
Bliss
xx