You can choose to go, do, be, and have, and in the end you'll exclaim, shocked and bewildered, that because of all the synchronicities of your life, all the "clicks" and "coincidences," and the many happy "accidents," your bounty and good fortune must have been your destiny.


Or, you might choose to wait for a miracle, a savior, or divine intervention, and in the end you'll exclaim, shocked and bewildered, that because of all the synchronicities of your life, all the missed chances and disappointments, and the many unhappy accidents, your lack and misfortune must have been your destiny.

Bliss, do you see what the difference is?

It ain't me,

The Universe
 
Well I absolutely know this applies to me. I have a lot of fear about letting go of some things that I am not even cntent with.
I have a flat that is cheap rent and can be mine until I am no longer needing anything at all in this lifetime. It is a sort of security. However it is also a noose around my neck.
And I want to be with the man I love which means doing and being and trusting and enjoying the adventure.
When I took the plunge and went off to Spain I truly enjoyed the fact that I did it - an adventure.
So although yes some research is required, JH is worth it. The adventure is worth it!


For the past few weeks, a group of lawyers in Egypt have been calling for the famous book, The Arabian Nights, to be banned on grounds that it is obscene and promotes vice and sin. I was intrigued when the group’s spokesman tried to argue that literature such as the Arabian Nights “is acceptable in the West” and not in Egypt which has “a different culture and different religion” they said. Ironically, The Arabian Nights was produced during the Golden Age of Arabo-Islamic Literature, a period between the 8th to 13th centuries. It was not until the year 1704 that the first European version of The Arabian Nights was rendered into French.




As Islamic seminary students we were often expected to study texts like The Arabian Nights, or The One Thousand and One Nights as it is originally known in Arabic. We were told that this would provide us a key to the language of the religious texts of that time. I have to admit that most of us as young students would skip through the pages looking for the tantalising sections of the book, just those parts the Egyptian lawyers want banned. Now that I reflect on it, it’s interesting how we were asked to trace and find the ethical and moral teaching of our faith through the medium of what some are now calling “obscene”. Perhaps what may first appear to some as rigid and fixed boundaries can be shown not to be so by an appreciation of Literature from our past.



So my prayer today is:

Lord, increase us in knowledge of our past and grant us the wisdom and courage to act accordingly. Amen.

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Destiny

You can choose to go, do, be, and have, and in the end you'll exclaim, shocked and bewildered, that because of all the synchronicities of your life, all the "clicks" and "coincidences," and the many happy "accidents," your bounty and good fortune must have been your destiny.


Or, you might choose to wait for a miracle, a savior, or divine intervention, and in the end you'll exclaim, shocked and bewildered, that because of all the synchronicities of your life, all the missed chances and disappointments, and the many unhappy accidents, your lack and misfortune must have been your destiny.

Bliss, do you see what the difference is?

It ain't me,

The Universe

The Healthy Submisive

1. The healthy submissive is capable of, and thrives on, intense, intimate, emotionally open relationships. This is often evident in the number of nourishing, sustaining, and life affirming friendships she makes over the years.




2. The healthy submissive is a giver. She often needs help to ration herself because her impulses nearly always lead her to want to do good for others.



3. The healthy submissive is capable of intense joy, especially in the context of a sustaining relationship.



4. The healthy submissive finds significant relaxation when properly related. She is at ease in that place.



5. The healthy submissive has finely tuned interpersonal sensitivity. She is reactive to subtle shifts in the emotional tone of others.



6. The healthy submissive has a fluidity of self, a flexibility that enables her to adapt to changing circumstances.



7. The healthy submissive is playful.



8. The healthy submissive has no more than the usual cultural conflicts about her body, and its goodness and beauty.



9. The healthy submissive takes pride in her accomplishments.



10. The healthy submissive accepts herself as she is, knowing that while her culture values independence and self sufficiency, she has strong dependency needs and that there is no inherent "wrongness" about those needs.



11. The healthy submissive seeks nourishing relationships.



12. The healthy submissive, in accepting herself "as is" is tolerant of others. But neither will she allow anyone to tell her what her truth should be.



13. The healthy submissive has a reasonable self concept, aware of her difficulties as well as her strengths.



14. The healthy submissive hunger is to be the object of an intense and penetrating understanding. When her nature is understood and she is held in a loving and firm frame, her devotion is almost limitless. The healthy submissive has an enormous capacity for devotion, from which springs her service.

Useful by being here and a slaves testament

For a long time yet, Bliss, there will still be things not to like in time and space... animal testing, war, discrimination, hatred, to name a few. But you realize, don't you, that only while you're there, can you do anything about them?


Oh yeah.

We can only watch.

The Universe
 
This is funny because today I asked my Master JH and my love if when we are together living simply if we would be able to keep bees. I am fascinated by them suddenly and love the idea of collecting the honey and maybe even being able to trade it with other local producers. But also very much as a way of contributing to the world as they are so endangered now. JH knows something about this too. He responded that he would like to. YAY!
I would also like to keep chickens and have fresh eggs. I like this picture I have. I also have this sense of bringing people together. Something we will do will create the opportunity for people to come together, meetings and learning or personal growth or something. It feels free and easy and loving and safe. I repeat easy as I see happiness.
 
I visited the hospital today - internal examination. It HURT! and M asked me why I didn;t tell anyone as it was being done that it was hurting. After the event I felt tearful.
I sent a text to JH, saying that I was out and very basic news. He sent a text back saying that he would call later. In retrospect I realised I wanted him to call but I didn't ask him to. I am still so far from identifying my wants and needs and being able to ask for them. Telling the doc about being in pain was another example.
When JH did call (he is so thoughful and lovely) I felt angry. I don;t know why. I was quite the martyr wanting to say that he should forget about me and get back to his kids. Oh poor poor me. Pah! Thankfully I don;t think I got myself stuck on this worthless idea. I said I wanted an hug and he said he was hugging me. That felt so nice of him to respond that way. I then was really happy after a little while talking to say goodbye knowing that he needed his tme with his children. No resentments - just love.
I am learning and growing. It is lovely.
 
M gave me a hug when I got home. That was lovely. Brings tears to me. I am not really certain why. Somebody really cares. I know for M hugging takes her effort. I apreciate her friendship. I love her.
She has cooked and talked and listened and been easy gong. Just what I needed.
I had stopped en route and bought a treat. I wanted chocolate and cakes. So I bought a chocolate pudding.
 
Now I feel incredibly bloated and there is some pain still.
M has suggested that I tell the GP about the pain and the fact that I didn;t tell them when it was hurting as they were examining me. It just doesn;t occur to me. As far as I am concerned I am to sit there quietly and just let them do what they are supposed to do. If there is anythign they will find it. But as M pointed out they may miss something if I don't tell them how things are affecting me. Still so much to learn.
 
My dad called. I hadn't realised I had told him when I was going to the hospital. The conversation was OK. Funnily enough M said as the phone was ringing "Oh don;t let it be your dad!" And it was. Ha ha.
 
Yesterday I went to find out from slaves and Masters about falling in love with my Master and him falling in love with me.
Oddly I received an IM from my former Master. He was asking for an update on what I have learnt since he last had contact with me. I will tell my Master and my love that I have received this.
As my Masters slave and because I adore him I would tell him everything and ask permission for everything I want. When I remember. I am still so self willed and there is a lot of control to learn how to let go of. And yet it feels so right for me.
The funny thing is my Master who is my love, is very loving and giving. He has requirements but doesn't enforce them. Oddly when I don;t comply I feel I have let him down.
I was given this by a Mistress in SL - I have much to learn and put into practice. The thing is although it is slavery it seems to apply so well to me feeling free and respectful fo the person I am in love with ...
Slaves Creed




i will communicate with complete honesty my needs, desires, limits, and experience. i realize that failing to do so will not only prevent my Owner and i from having the best experience possible, but can also lead to physical and emotional harm



i will not try to manipulate my Owner. i will not push to make a scene go the way I feel it should



i will keep an open mind about trying things that i am not accustomed to or comfortable with and expanding my limits. i will continue to grow as a submissive and as a human being.



i will accept the responsibility of discovering what pleases my Owner and will do my best to fulfil Her wishes and desires. i will not allow myself to be harmed or abused, i know that submissive does not equal "doormat"



i will be courteous and helpful to my fellow slaves, i will share my knowledge and experiences with others in the hope they they will learn from where i have been and i will take the time to help those new to the lifestyle start out on the correct path.



i will be responsive to my Owner, i will not try to hide what my mind and body are feeling so that i may assist Her in Her responsibilities as my Authority, i know that Dominants are not telepathic, and will not expect Them to know the thoughts or feelings which i do not share.



i will never think myself a "better" submissive because i choose to submit on a different level than another. i will not be boastful of experiences i have had as a sub. i know that my actions reflect upon my Owner, and will do my best to help others see Her in a positive way, i will not intentionally embarrass or displease my Owner.



Above all, i be a slave with honour, i will never cause others to think that being submissive means to be weak or subhuman. i will take pride in who and what i am, and will never show myself in a negative way
 

Feeling close despite the distance

Of course, Bliss, the most deceptive of all illusions is very likely space.


You know, that thing between "here" and "there" that would have you see yourself alone, instead of as the bridge between them. That medium between you and the rest of the world that disguises your role in creating it. You know, that veil through which the physical senses must explore your chiseled secrets.

See? Aliens are the least of your worries...

Phone home,

The Universe
 
Well this is so appropriate, having spoken with my Master and my love about how we can be together when there is physical distance between us. I even wrote to the Universe expressing my wants. And then this message.
In terms of slavery, it gets a little confusing. I am not certain how to have a Master/slave relationship when this is th same man that I love and am in love with. Confused because although I think a slave can love and be in love with a Master, the Master may not really be in love with the slave. I don't know why I think this. Maybe I could speak with some Masters and slaves to find out their thoughts.  Mmmm yes good idea

My love and my master is away on holiday. It is so odd after all this time on Skype to be talking on the telephone.
Even odder with M staying and I feel I cannot talk so openly. I am worried how she might judge me.

Journeying into slavery

"When love beckons to you, follow him. Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, though the sword hidden amongst his opinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you, believe in him, though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden." Kahil Gibran

Mmmmm - somehow this seems relevant in the submission I feel in my role with my Master. It is in direct controversy with my controlling self.

To yield - I know this is empowering. I feel empowered when I yield. It gives me security in myself and I gain that from my role.

That may make no sense at all to anyone reading this unless you already know that I am my Masters slave. Yet within this relationship I have fallen in love and he loves me so there is at times perhaps a confusion in how to be both. I guess this is more learning. How to continue to be my Masters slave whilst also both loving one and other.

When I think of him I can feel him through my body. It starts at root or base chakra and then into the second chakra and then into the solar plexus. The heart chakra feels plentiful.

I think in April I became my Master's slave. I am writing this now so as not to lose the clarity as it fades fast.

I encountered my Master whilst I was already a slave to Senor. My Master seemed well masterly and I felt compelled to speak with him. And just after a few conversations and also yielding willingly to his sexual attention, I asked if he would like me to sit at his feet as his slave for him to see if he liked the role. From there very quickly I was asking Senor if he would loan me ... He agreed first to 4 days and then when this seemed not to be fit in with Master's plans, Senor loaned me for 2 weeks. My Master was then away for the weekend yet managed to make some contact and tell me his requirements. On his return, I sat at his feet a lot and we mainly talked and I met his requirements. I quickly felt my adoration growing and became more willing to meet his requirements.

I am unclear of the order of things and how they escalated but I revealed myself to my Master in different ways - in writing, in photographs and eventually through Skype.

I suppose it is necessary to explain that I had already been captured by Senor maybe a month or two prior to meeting my Master. Quite innocently I was invited by Senor to meet with him, and I accepted his offer. I had met him in passing some days maybe a month earlier.

As I met with him he told me to get on my knees. Fascinated, I did as I was told. After a few days of meeting under such strange circumstances, with no chatting, merely being told his requirements of me, I entered into being his slave willingly.

Senor required me to read the 128 slave rules which I had to find. And then to write the rules that I agreed with or those I found difficult and why. I actually discovered two versions to begin with. I could see how easily I would be able to comply and started to become aware of the pleasure I found in being submissive to Senor.

At first he did not collar me. He did not think it necessary. But as he realised I did not yield to all of his requirements he decided to collar me.

I discovered that I felt safe as slave to Senor. He was not available very often and so required me to undertake my own teaching - this involved sexual acts as well as practicing being submissive with others.

It was through "others" that I met my now Master. In being submissive, I was lent to a learning Dom who was interested in making me do things without consideration and humiliating me. He had taken me to a place where I was required to have sex with a French woman. At this point I was aware of a man sitting quietly observing the scene. I felt some kind of connection with him just knowing he was watching. When he spoke it was very calm and non judgemental. The French girl being satisfied left commenting only that it was good and poufff she was gone.

My Master offered me friendship. .... the rest is history as they say.

Oh except that as the end of the 2 weeks approached I explained to my Master that I really wanted to stay with him. I did feel though a great deal of emotional discomfort knowing that I was being disloyal in this way to Senor. It is surprising really how entirely the role as a slave has penetrated through me. And so negotiations commenced with me as the messenger between Senor and my Master. It was so strange. Eventually Senor agreed to give me away to my Master. He did not want money. He did try to take me back as my Master cleverly predicted but my Master had already been prepared and so stopped the possibility.

I really know that it has value for me as a person.....

Senor had taught me that there could be no bad feelings for any reason. If I so much as mentioned a bad feeling, he would remind me that it was not permitted and then would change the situation with immediate effect. Unless of course I could change the feeling myself. If I felt bad enough that I had caused him inconvenience, I was of course able to alter my feeling.

I can see how this serves a valuable purpose.

I also see how easy I developed a devotion and love for Senor to begin with but more wholesomely with my Master. He takes care of me and is loving in every decision he makes for me. In return I have developed love and respect.

Mainly with sexual requirements - I am to be available at all times and when I remind myself f this or am reminded I am instantly aroused anyway. The arousal has developed through a sort of conditioning I think. This I will not go into detail about but suffice to say I undertake the requirements of me, which become an arousal. The simply to be reminded I am open and available. My Master is masterful at ensuring I am very satisfied when taking my availability to him. And so I feel even more conditioned and my willingness to be available is complete.

Where I am today?
Well I love to be my Master's slave. We are however, more than slave and Master. I know at all times I am my Master's slave but I forget as I am learning. My own everyday insecurities and inadequacies for example have been triggered as a result of how my Master is. And forgetting my position as well as us negotiating how we are in our relationship has resulted in me forgetting how to be. Negotiating, disagreeing etc.
I have had bed feelings. Thankfully my Master is patient and tolerant with me and probably because he also loves me.
I am very thankful to my Master for the way he is with me whilst he is teaching me to be his slave.

Of course this is only one element of me so I hope to try and gain some clarity about all of this as I continue to write to you here.
Bliss
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