Loss

http://harrytijm.exto.nl/gallery/page/id/361095.html

If JH and I are no longer in contact I would feel a deep sense of loss. Not just him the person but all the things that we share in conversation. His ideas and thoughts about ideas and thoughts I have. I would miss him introducing me to photographers and sculptors (as above). I would like more time to discus with him what he particularly likes about particular photographs or paintings or sculptures. Or indeed films and so on.
I would miss being along for his discovery of all things life-like. I would miss the exxcitement of self discovery.
I wonder but knowing he will read this don't cast this in stone, I wonder if we are friends if he no longer sees me as his lover. This is just positing ideas.

This sculpture above is absolutely relevant to me. Although the name of the piece evokes some distaste so I will rename it for my own benefit. But it evokes in me a feeling that I have felt with JH. Sensuality. This I would lose too. I wonder if this is already lost?
Lying in my bed all alone, I have felt his arms around me, his warmth permeating into me. I would lose this ever happening again.






SONNET 130 - Shakespeare
My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.