Imperturbability

There are those who discover they can leave behind confused reactions and become patient as the earth; unmoved by anger, unshaken as a pillar, unperturbed as a clear and quiet pool.
v. 95

Ajahn Munindo says .....
The Buddha lived in this world as we do. And despite all the turmoil he realised a state of imperturbability - to 'become patient as the earth'. Whatever is poured on it, burnt on it, or done to it, the earth just goes on being what it is and doing what it does. Patient endurance is not a weak opinion; it is strengthening and kind. With patient endurance we discover the ability to allow our present experience to be here, just as it is, until we have learnt what we need to learn.

Again, my thoughts ring alarm bells about reading this and then thinking that I am not supposed to have all the feelings associated with day to day living and interaction with people, places and things. Most usually people. It is human to have emotions evoked. They are the intuition that guides our attitude and our behaviour. Being more consciously aware of the emotions is my current  hope. If I am aware I can be thoughtful about what I do next. If I suppress the emotions then I am acting with underlying unknown drives which means I am less likely to consider what I do next, it's more reactionary.
Anger helps me to understand my boundaries. When someone is crossing a value or principle that is important to me, anger can be a "God-given" message that something is not OK for me. And so long as I don't act out on the anger I can use this information intelligently.
Sadness tells me that something really matters and through it I can also learn compassion for others.
So when i read about not being perturbed it perturbs me slightly. I think for me right now the lesson is in being aware and getting to understand myself. Then gradually I can work towards imperturbability, thought gradually learning acceptance of self and then in turn others.
Things are as they are. It doesn't always mean it's OK surely? And questioning is surely healthy for the greater good, ensuring that there is thoughtfulness behind every decision. I was just thinking about GM products having read the recent article about new EU laws around this issues.
Who know GM maybe a good thing but it could also be a bad thing. Being perturbed by it surely means that questions are asked. In the long run those are perturbed are trying to ensure that it is a healthy way to go. Research can then look into increases in illnesses and see if there is a correlation with GM products. Such as an increase in ADHD, irritable bowel syndrome etc. And we are much better position today to raise these questions and not have to simply accept in ignorance. This surely is progress, so long as experimentation and development doesn't cease completely. We could cripple ourselves with all our questions. Some of life is about taking risks and seeing what happens. I think we become so wrapped up in prote4cting - the nanny states. And having faith becomes about everything being controlled. That is so against what I think faith is. Faith means to me that it will all be OK whatever happens - therefore it is possible to go with the flow.
And this involves for me at my stage of development feeling the fear, anger, sadness, jealousy, happiness, contentment, gratitude, etc - the full range of human emotions with an awareness. And then moving forward from there.

My difficulty is that I don't always like the feelings or the situations I am in right here and now. But I can be reminded that I am OK right now. The future is something to plan for but not control. IN this absolute moment all is OK. And The difficulties I am in are for me to grow from. I can only do that if I am as conscious as I know how to be.
Yesterday was a great day for that. I got a lot of my essay drafted - first draft. I will finish it this morning and send it off for a couple of friends to read. ON Sunday I will finalise it. And the rest of today will be about writing up my application for an experiment to be carried out.
I will attend the open mic in West Meon at 5pm and there is a day planned.
However there is a lot of nows until all of those things.
Right now I feel enlightened if that is a feeling, breathing in some fresh air. I am avoidant about starting my essay - it seems laborious now. I know that it needs working on. So then I get into projecting and it feels immediately heavy. So I need to face it anyway - do my best have a lunch break I guess and then start the next part of the assignment.
Right a cuppa and on with it.
Less perturbance already

Bliss
xx