Baby souls follow.
Young souls lead.
But old souls, Bliss, are happy to dance alone.
Not that I'm spying on you,
The Universe
I am not sure what I think about this comment from The Universe. I write The Universe because it's really a money making enterprise that I am hooked up to and receive these little daily messages. They are at times incredibly inspirational.
There is something about young and old souls. Of course no one really knows. But I do get a sense of a difference. I have always hated the idea that I might be a new or young soul. It seems cooler somehow to be an old soul. And that in itself makes me smile and the child in me. Never ever happy just where I am right now. Always wanting something else. I do wonder what this unrest in me is all about? I think it has been with me from a very young earth age. Everything else that I haven't got or done or everywhere else that I haven't been or am not right at this moment or everyone else is better. This can be time and space - spatial and ???? what is the word. Oh I do get fed up with the menopausal memory blocks. Which also makes me smile because I have always had this gappy memory. Spatial and ........ in social psychology the two were used a lot. In biological psychology it's temporal but somehow the word doesn't seem quite right for the fact that temporally I am never happy with the now.
For this now moment I am grateful for the mean to be able to type out my thoughts. And I am grateful for the desire to be literally creative by getting down my thinking. In the here and now I am grateful for a desire to eat healthier. Oh I need to be grateful for something in the past - yesterday talking with the one of the housekeepers at work. Wow gran words we use for cleaner. Isn't it funny how we use words and over time they become politically incorrect because humans attach meaning to the words that someone else doesn't like. Anyway the cleaner or housekeeper (which in time will have some derogatory meaning and will be re-named) and I were talking somehow about over eating. I was talking with an addictions therapist head on as she asked me my opinion on hypnosis as a means to overcome smoking and over eating. I was brilliant I thought ha ha! I was talking about how well it can work but not in isolation. I explained that I thought hypnosis can temporarily seem to alter the conditioning that I believe is a part of "addictive" behaviours. Such as when we are children and crying quite often parents use sweet things to pacify or soothe. And so, as with Pavlov's dog, the ways in which synapses alter in the brain with the pairing of food and attention becomes learnt, the hypnosis might temporarily put some control over this. However, hypnosis doesn't deal with the emotional reactions to everyday life. Therefore unless these are addressed, the hypnosis never seems to have a long lasting affect in altering the learnt behaviour. It is apparent for instance that smoking is a great suppressant for anger. So whilst hypnosis has removed the desire to smoke using all sorts of clever alarms - maybe even implanted memories - it hasn't removed anger. Thank goodness as anger is a valid and necessary emotion. I loved the lecture I gave yesterday on becoming aware of anger as a trigger to relapse. Anyway stop bragging. The anger rises as a result of life and this is more powerful than the hypnosis and so the addict returns to smoking to manage the anger.
I just have to say that I heard a while ago that the gift of anger is energy. And this tied nicely with something I heard years ago and held onto that emotion is energy in motion e-motion. Loved it. So this two together make total sense. The difficulty is learning to separate the emotion from the behaviour and start identifying the variations of anger and choose to behave differently - not to get rid of the anger but to use the energy in a healthier way. Where on earth am I going with all of this. Oh yes the cleaner/housekeeper and over eating. So as I was explaining my theory she spoke about being out with friends who were all eating things she wanted so in the end she gave in and put down her less fattening foods and succumbed to eating the things she wanted so much like her friends. I said that with alcohol or drugs we tell people that in early days they need to avoid alcohol and drugs. To get some strength in their recovery rather than put themselves at the risk of temptation. When feeling OK it's no problem but if unaware of emotions bubbling underneath relapse is much more likely. And then I said it's a matter of acceptance that we cannot eat like other people just like the alcoholic has to accept that they cannot drink like other people. Despite having said this over and over for 10 years or so and applied it to myself with substances including nicotine, it was like a thunderbolt of revelation, like I had never heard it before .... amazing. I just need to accept that I cannot eat like others. That for some reason I have an addiction to sugary foods. I think white flour in this country doesn't help either. White flour is less refined in places like France and so the bread etc is very different.
I just need to accept that I cannot touch those things. And as much as I want want want them I need to stay off them. Alcohol and drugs were easy compared to this..... smoking was difficult enough but I used sugar. When I hear people talking about just being able to have anything but needing to manage it - well this is like telling an alcoholic to control their drinking. It rarely if ever works out.
So I need to apply the same to my food. I have tried all sorts of ways to be able to allow myself sweet things. Chocolate and sweets and cakes and so on. If M sticks with the Dukan diet she too will have a maintenance programme that is for life. I feel jealous immediately of people that can have ..... and it seems to me that others won;t understand it or take it seriously. And this is just how the folk in our treatment think. They go through doubts and fear. Ugh the shame of telling people that I may have got it wring and actually I cannot have. But even worse the disbelief in me that I will be able to stick to it so already building up the case for when I relapse. Actually I hope I can hold onto this as I can relate it so well with people in the group. I know myself the similarity in the thinking when deciding to give things up. There is such a negotiation in my head. And if I can be honest about it then I can get the support.
So for today I will not have sugar. I will be stressed at times as I am starting essay 1 - funnily enough much to do with learning and memory and the Hebbian learning of changes at the synapse.
How interesting how much more I know as a result of my course that helps with every day things. I didn't know it would be so useful. My problem is explaining things clearly and usefully.
Man! How I wonder off topic. That's going with the flow of the thinking. All the little electic sparks firing off and awakening different pockets of information. One day they may discover where the store of information is beause right now there is no knowledge of hos the electricity becomes conscious thoughts and memories. Amazing humans!!
So as for baby, young and old souls. In my opinion there is something in this. However, I do think different life circumstances can awaken the old soul.
With a more direct reference to what is being siad about the baby, young and old soul, yes I see that with wisdom there is less need to be with a someone. I still would like to meet a someone to share with. I am wondering if the longing is more prevalent when I am lower in mood. When everything seems so bleak and lonely and pointless. And that is possibly where the addictive element gets triggered. The desire and "need". When I am feeling uplifted and skipping along my path, the need is less. I can think more freely just how people come and go. Friends, partners and acquaintances. I meet an array of personalities that contribute greatly to the moments a long the way. Some stay and some are momentary. And I am at ease with that so long as my mood isn't in the pits and my path looks narrow with barbed wire fencing lining the route, dead animals rotting on the barbs, trees over hanging blotting out any sunlight, unfirm ground and in places bogs to navigate, empty of people, silent of life, no one and nothing ahead just more of the same. Still that's improvement on the tiny black sealed box I used to be in at my lowest.
Now the same path has fileds either side, stretching to hills or sea, forests. The path is windy and beyond each corner there is something that looks interesting to explore. There is sunlight and moonlight, there are people criss-crossing the path. Unicorns and faeries. So so so many things of interest that there isn't enough time in my life to pursue them all. So suddenly who needs one person.
Does this mean that I have an old soul? If so what happens to the old soul when the bleak blackness descends? Who knows? Nobody really knows. Do we need to know? Only when we are looking for certainty. Trust is the response to fear rather than certainty and control.
For today I trust. Lovely.
Bliss
XX
Young souls lead.
But old souls, Bliss, are happy to dance alone.
Not that I'm spying on you,
The Universe
I am not sure what I think about this comment from The Universe. I write The Universe because it's really a money making enterprise that I am hooked up to and receive these little daily messages. They are at times incredibly inspirational.
There is something about young and old souls. Of course no one really knows. But I do get a sense of a difference. I have always hated the idea that I might be a new or young soul. It seems cooler somehow to be an old soul. And that in itself makes me smile and the child in me. Never ever happy just where I am right now. Always wanting something else. I do wonder what this unrest in me is all about? I think it has been with me from a very young earth age. Everything else that I haven't got or done or everywhere else that I haven't been or am not right at this moment or everyone else is better. This can be time and space - spatial and ???? what is the word. Oh I do get fed up with the menopausal memory blocks. Which also makes me smile because I have always had this gappy memory. Spatial and ........ in social psychology the two were used a lot. In biological psychology it's temporal but somehow the word doesn't seem quite right for the fact that temporally I am never happy with the now.
For this now moment I am grateful for the mean to be able to type out my thoughts. And I am grateful for the desire to be literally creative by getting down my thinking. In the here and now I am grateful for a desire to eat healthier. Oh I need to be grateful for something in the past - yesterday talking with the one of the housekeepers at work. Wow gran words we use for cleaner. Isn't it funny how we use words and over time they become politically incorrect because humans attach meaning to the words that someone else doesn't like. Anyway the cleaner or housekeeper (which in time will have some derogatory meaning and will be re-named) and I were talking somehow about over eating. I was talking with an addictions therapist head on as she asked me my opinion on hypnosis as a means to overcome smoking and over eating. I was brilliant I thought ha ha! I was talking about how well it can work but not in isolation. I explained that I thought hypnosis can temporarily seem to alter the conditioning that I believe is a part of "addictive" behaviours. Such as when we are children and crying quite often parents use sweet things to pacify or soothe. And so, as with Pavlov's dog, the ways in which synapses alter in the brain with the pairing of food and attention becomes learnt, the hypnosis might temporarily put some control over this. However, hypnosis doesn't deal with the emotional reactions to everyday life. Therefore unless these are addressed, the hypnosis never seems to have a long lasting affect in altering the learnt behaviour. It is apparent for instance that smoking is a great suppressant for anger. So whilst hypnosis has removed the desire to smoke using all sorts of clever alarms - maybe even implanted memories - it hasn't removed anger. Thank goodness as anger is a valid and necessary emotion. I loved the lecture I gave yesterday on becoming aware of anger as a trigger to relapse. Anyway stop bragging. The anger rises as a result of life and this is more powerful than the hypnosis and so the addict returns to smoking to manage the anger.
I just have to say that I heard a while ago that the gift of anger is energy. And this tied nicely with something I heard years ago and held onto that emotion is energy in motion e-motion. Loved it. So this two together make total sense. The difficulty is learning to separate the emotion from the behaviour and start identifying the variations of anger and choose to behave differently - not to get rid of the anger but to use the energy in a healthier way. Where on earth am I going with all of this. Oh yes the cleaner/housekeeper and over eating. So as I was explaining my theory she spoke about being out with friends who were all eating things she wanted so in the end she gave in and put down her less fattening foods and succumbed to eating the things she wanted so much like her friends. I said that with alcohol or drugs we tell people that in early days they need to avoid alcohol and drugs. To get some strength in their recovery rather than put themselves at the risk of temptation. When feeling OK it's no problem but if unaware of emotions bubbling underneath relapse is much more likely. And then I said it's a matter of acceptance that we cannot eat like other people just like the alcoholic has to accept that they cannot drink like other people. Despite having said this over and over for 10 years or so and applied it to myself with substances including nicotine, it was like a thunderbolt of revelation, like I had never heard it before .... amazing. I just need to accept that I cannot eat like others. That for some reason I have an addiction to sugary foods. I think white flour in this country doesn't help either. White flour is less refined in places like France and so the bread etc is very different.
I just need to accept that I cannot touch those things. And as much as I want want want them I need to stay off them. Alcohol and drugs were easy compared to this..... smoking was difficult enough but I used sugar. When I hear people talking about just being able to have anything but needing to manage it - well this is like telling an alcoholic to control their drinking. It rarely if ever works out.
So I need to apply the same to my food. I have tried all sorts of ways to be able to allow myself sweet things. Chocolate and sweets and cakes and so on. If M sticks with the Dukan diet she too will have a maintenance programme that is for life. I feel jealous immediately of people that can have ..... and it seems to me that others won;t understand it or take it seriously. And this is just how the folk in our treatment think. They go through doubts and fear. Ugh the shame of telling people that I may have got it wring and actually I cannot have. But even worse the disbelief in me that I will be able to stick to it so already building up the case for when I relapse. Actually I hope I can hold onto this as I can relate it so well with people in the group. I know myself the similarity in the thinking when deciding to give things up. There is such a negotiation in my head. And if I can be honest about it then I can get the support.
So for today I will not have sugar. I will be stressed at times as I am starting essay 1 - funnily enough much to do with learning and memory and the Hebbian learning of changes at the synapse.
How interesting how much more I know as a result of my course that helps with every day things. I didn't know it would be so useful. My problem is explaining things clearly and usefully.
Man! How I wonder off topic. That's going with the flow of the thinking. All the little electic sparks firing off and awakening different pockets of information. One day they may discover where the store of information is beause right now there is no knowledge of hos the electricity becomes conscious thoughts and memories. Amazing humans!!
So as for baby, young and old souls. In my opinion there is something in this. However, I do think different life circumstances can awaken the old soul.
With a more direct reference to what is being siad about the baby, young and old soul, yes I see that with wisdom there is less need to be with a someone. I still would like to meet a someone to share with. I am wondering if the longing is more prevalent when I am lower in mood. When everything seems so bleak and lonely and pointless. And that is possibly where the addictive element gets triggered. The desire and "need". When I am feeling uplifted and skipping along my path, the need is less. I can think more freely just how people come and go. Friends, partners and acquaintances. I meet an array of personalities that contribute greatly to the moments a long the way. Some stay and some are momentary. And I am at ease with that so long as my mood isn't in the pits and my path looks narrow with barbed wire fencing lining the route, dead animals rotting on the barbs, trees over hanging blotting out any sunlight, unfirm ground and in places bogs to navigate, empty of people, silent of life, no one and nothing ahead just more of the same. Still that's improvement on the tiny black sealed box I used to be in at my lowest.
Now the same path has fileds either side, stretching to hills or sea, forests. The path is windy and beyond each corner there is something that looks interesting to explore. There is sunlight and moonlight, there are people criss-crossing the path. Unicorns and faeries. So so so many things of interest that there isn't enough time in my life to pursue them all. So suddenly who needs one person.
Does this mean that I have an old soul? If so what happens to the old soul when the bleak blackness descends? Who knows? Nobody really knows. Do we need to know? Only when we are looking for certainty. Trust is the response to fear rather than certainty and control.
For today I trust. Lovely.
Bliss
XX
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