Live and let live
How appropriate when I sit in criticism of LK and want people to do things differently to suit me. I need to understand others are where they are rather than where I want them to be. My trouble is I'm not sure and get anxious about being able to remain me whilst living and let live. When is something someone else does not appropriate. I'm not in a charge to decide what is right or wrong but I would like to know when someone is doing something that directly impacts on my values and principles, then how do I assert my boundaries.
Easy does it
I'm a very edgy type, intense. I had had to learn to be super aware, super vigilant to survive so I see where it comes from and what unmanageability my typical characteristics can bring. My meeting today reminded me of the tool - easy does it. This helps me deal with my utter panic with life situations arise that tip into my edginess and intensity.
I am a person of extremes - all or nothing. This key or tool can help me lean towards balance more and more. Easy does it, one step at a time. Just do one little bit and then another, without trying to resolve everything right now! Inch by inch, it's a cinch. Mile by mile it's a trial.
Wear life like a loose garment rather than a tight horse-hair shirt.
I need to learn how to stay unruffled emotionally. I am an addict and and this edgy type so can't afford to get ruffled and this tool can help me - I'd like to bring it into my daily life more often.
My mums motto was do it perfectly or not at all.
I wonder if I use these tools without realising it?
Interestingly, I had two phone calls with two people from fellowship. I could feel my intolerance mounting with both of them. The first person, it seemed easier to stop and apply live and let live and instead of being intolerant to their circumstances, I changed and asked questions appropriate to what they were telling me. I learnt a little more. And then the second person, well this was more to do with being told what I need to do. It's so irritating to me. As if I don't know!! I've noticed it with this person before. I can hear the therapist being practised on me and I get irritated. Fellowship is more about sharing experiences rather than telling as if from a position of authority and the other person doesn't know. I can hear my ego though. with this person in the past, I've acknowledged to them that they have had a good idea. And there is always something I can take away with me. But this time, she didn't hear me a tall. all I wanted to say was how pleased I was to have become self aware. I didn't need telling how to handle things. However, I did hear that probably the fact that I could not get through to the USA conference call number meaning that I reverted to using my mobile phone has caused me some anxiety. I was really pissed off when she said that what's a £100 for a call. It's a flipping lot of money to me. Every single penny spent is a lot of money to me and I'm hemorrhaging money at the moment. Whilst it was so ridiculously cheap for me to go to Spain as my friends bought my tickets and supplied me with the food I needed, I still spent on presents. Money I cannot afford to be spending. But I was relieved for the break away. I feel so fraught around money at the moment. And the next moment I trust that it will all be OK at some point. I am hoping the extra hours I've done will help sort out my account next month and even the month after that too. If I can find more local work that will help reduce my outgoings. That's the worryingly increasing cost - fuel! £144 per litre now. That's just crazy money. It wasn't any cheaper in Spain either.
So yes back to this call. The other helpful thing was the phone cared. Apparently it is possible to buy a phonecard and then calls are already paid for. Is this like a pay-as-you-go scenario? I will check with the post office or supermarket. At least if I can get a card for next Sunday then I can worry less about my landline not supporting my call. I can then reduce my package with BT again and resort to not using the silly landline. The phone runs out of battery almost instantly now anyway. I need a new phone unit really but as I barely use the landline it seems silly to waste yet more money on that. A phonecard seems to be more reasonable. I will have time hopefully to sort this out on Friday.
So yes this irritation I have - it reminds me always of B. How she goes into instruction mode without any thought that I might already know things. There are some people who do this. What I was actually saying was that I'd seen a man with a couple of tins of crisps. Immediately I wanted them. Thankfully talking with others with some experience it came to me to ask what it was I wanted to get from them. I played the pictures through my mind as it was immediately apparent. I saw myself chomping away mindlessly on them, one after another. I could all but actually taste them, the memory of the taste even with me now as I am writing about the scenario in my thoughts. So lying on the settee, watching interesting or mindless films or one after another of a series. Chomping, chomping, chomping. Actually he had only 1 tin, but I would have had a bag full of binge type foods or "open and eat" things as I would call them. And the effect I was after was to mong-out or get away from everything. Get away from the studying I need to do and still haven't done. Well it's actually a report I need to write. What if I don't hand it in? Then I could get on with the next load of reading. However I will have that sense of failure to manage as well.
So yes it was a nee to escape responsibilities. Then E started going on about needing to take quiet time etc. All good stuff for her circumstances but not actually hearing my own. I felt like it was her need to feel useful rather than actually hearing me. Yes that's it. And it's irritating. What was more useful, and I tried to stay listening was when she shared her own experience. The need to sit down and do a short burst of studying, making it bite-size and chunked into smaller more do-able sessions.
How to live and let live you see when someone is crossing my boundary. I felt so irritated that it was not possible for me to say anything without being snappy. So somehow it would be useful at some point to be able to express my needs. For instance, I just need to share and if you wouldn't mind just listening and if you've any experiences of something similar it would be useful to hear your process. Something like that. It would be rude surely to say I felt irritated when you started telling me what I need to do. It sounds arrogant as well, as if she has not got good suggestions. Her good suggestions were to investigate a phone card and that my financial worry might be something I'm attempting to escape from. Not to mention that I'm very tired which seems to be quite the norm recently.
So God please help me to live and let live. This is the way E is. How do I tolerate it when it gets on my nerves. Is it more so today because I'm tired and stressed because of money? Is it hormonal? Is it stress of not having got with anything yet again? Possibly it is the culmination of these things that have lowered my tolerance. Which is what E was suggesting without realising how I was including her in my stress.
Live and let live and let go. Phew - thank goodness for writing and allowing myself to look at me.
Bliss
x
ps I now recall B suggesting a phonecard but I ignored the suggestion thinking I knew what that meant and not knowing at all. I'm so arrogant and stubborn at times.
How appropriate when I sit in criticism of LK and want people to do things differently to suit me. I need to understand others are where they are rather than where I want them to be. My trouble is I'm not sure and get anxious about being able to remain me whilst living and let live. When is something someone else does not appropriate. I'm not in a charge to decide what is right or wrong but I would like to know when someone is doing something that directly impacts on my values and principles, then how do I assert my boundaries.
Easy does it
I'm a very edgy type, intense. I had had to learn to be super aware, super vigilant to survive so I see where it comes from and what unmanageability my typical characteristics can bring. My meeting today reminded me of the tool - easy does it. This helps me deal with my utter panic with life situations arise that tip into my edginess and intensity.
I am a person of extremes - all or nothing. This key or tool can help me lean towards balance more and more. Easy does it, one step at a time. Just do one little bit and then another, without trying to resolve everything right now! Inch by inch, it's a cinch. Mile by mile it's a trial.
Wear life like a loose garment rather than a tight horse-hair shirt.
I need to learn how to stay unruffled emotionally. I am an addict and and this edgy type so can't afford to get ruffled and this tool can help me - I'd like to bring it into my daily life more often.
My mums motto was do it perfectly or not at all.
I wonder if I use these tools without realising it?
Interestingly, I had two phone calls with two people from fellowship. I could feel my intolerance mounting with both of them. The first person, it seemed easier to stop and apply live and let live and instead of being intolerant to their circumstances, I changed and asked questions appropriate to what they were telling me. I learnt a little more. And then the second person, well this was more to do with being told what I need to do. It's so irritating to me. As if I don't know!! I've noticed it with this person before. I can hear the therapist being practised on me and I get irritated. Fellowship is more about sharing experiences rather than telling as if from a position of authority and the other person doesn't know. I can hear my ego though. with this person in the past, I've acknowledged to them that they have had a good idea. And there is always something I can take away with me. But this time, she didn't hear me a tall. all I wanted to say was how pleased I was to have become self aware. I didn't need telling how to handle things. However, I did hear that probably the fact that I could not get through to the USA conference call number meaning that I reverted to using my mobile phone has caused me some anxiety. I was really pissed off when she said that what's a £100 for a call. It's a flipping lot of money to me. Every single penny spent is a lot of money to me and I'm hemorrhaging money at the moment. Whilst it was so ridiculously cheap for me to go to Spain as my friends bought my tickets and supplied me with the food I needed, I still spent on presents. Money I cannot afford to be spending. But I was relieved for the break away. I feel so fraught around money at the moment. And the next moment I trust that it will all be OK at some point. I am hoping the extra hours I've done will help sort out my account next month and even the month after that too. If I can find more local work that will help reduce my outgoings. That's the worryingly increasing cost - fuel! £144 per litre now. That's just crazy money. It wasn't any cheaper in Spain either.
So yes back to this call. The other helpful thing was the phone cared. Apparently it is possible to buy a phonecard and then calls are already paid for. Is this like a pay-as-you-go scenario? I will check with the post office or supermarket. At least if I can get a card for next Sunday then I can worry less about my landline not supporting my call. I can then reduce my package with BT again and resort to not using the silly landline. The phone runs out of battery almost instantly now anyway. I need a new phone unit really but as I barely use the landline it seems silly to waste yet more money on that. A phonecard seems to be more reasonable. I will have time hopefully to sort this out on Friday.
So yes this irritation I have - it reminds me always of B. How she goes into instruction mode without any thought that I might already know things. There are some people who do this. What I was actually saying was that I'd seen a man with a couple of tins of crisps. Immediately I wanted them. Thankfully talking with others with some experience it came to me to ask what it was I wanted to get from them. I played the pictures through my mind as it was immediately apparent. I saw myself chomping away mindlessly on them, one after another. I could all but actually taste them, the memory of the taste even with me now as I am writing about the scenario in my thoughts. So lying on the settee, watching interesting or mindless films or one after another of a series. Chomping, chomping, chomping. Actually he had only 1 tin, but I would have had a bag full of binge type foods or "open and eat" things as I would call them. And the effect I was after was to mong-out or get away from everything. Get away from the studying I need to do and still haven't done. Well it's actually a report I need to write. What if I don't hand it in? Then I could get on with the next load of reading. However I will have that sense of failure to manage as well.
So yes it was a nee to escape responsibilities. Then E started going on about needing to take quiet time etc. All good stuff for her circumstances but not actually hearing my own. I felt like it was her need to feel useful rather than actually hearing me. Yes that's it. And it's irritating. What was more useful, and I tried to stay listening was when she shared her own experience. The need to sit down and do a short burst of studying, making it bite-size and chunked into smaller more do-able sessions.
How to live and let live you see when someone is crossing my boundary. I felt so irritated that it was not possible for me to say anything without being snappy. So somehow it would be useful at some point to be able to express my needs. For instance, I just need to share and if you wouldn't mind just listening and if you've any experiences of something similar it would be useful to hear your process. Something like that. It would be rude surely to say I felt irritated when you started telling me what I need to do. It sounds arrogant as well, as if she has not got good suggestions. Her good suggestions were to investigate a phone card and that my financial worry might be something I'm attempting to escape from. Not to mention that I'm very tired which seems to be quite the norm recently.
So God please help me to live and let live. This is the way E is. How do I tolerate it when it gets on my nerves. Is it more so today because I'm tired and stressed because of money? Is it hormonal? Is it stress of not having got with anything yet again? Possibly it is the culmination of these things that have lowered my tolerance. Which is what E was suggesting without realising how I was including her in my stress.
Live and let live and let go. Phew - thank goodness for writing and allowing myself to look at me.
Bliss
x
ps I now recall B suggesting a phonecard but I ignored the suggestion thinking I knew what that meant and not knowing at all. I'm so arrogant and stubborn at times.
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