Monday Night Liss

What a lovely meeting. And I realise it's less about the meeting and more about me and my attitude and input.
I haven't attended to my recovery so much in the probably the last 6 months. And now I am refreshing my effort. It's paying off.
JH asked me a little while ago what it is that makes it a good meeting.
Well this evening I shared - I related to a couple of things already said by others and to some things said by the guest chair. I have known her vaguely throughout my recovery and she is a very upbeat and pleasant lady.
There was laughter in the room and I listened to the essence of the person and not the detail of the personality.
There was longevity and nostalgia with that.
There was niceness = just decent people reaching out to each other. Of course there are personalities with all the defects of humanness. But I can focus on the principles and see people just trying to become better people one way or another.
A lady said good bye to me as I left the meeting room this evening. She used my name which was a lovely thing to happen. Made me feel heard. It mattered because I think I am invisible really and actually keep myself that way by trying to shrink into the woodwork.
So tonight I was pro-active.
I had the extraordinary events of Saturday to share which I believe are directly linked to these 10 years I have committed myself to changing. Sometimes working at it flipping hard and at other times flipping out all together.
And it's not been alone. I have had a lot of wonderful friends carrying me at times.

I have faith. I forget sometimes but I do have a very strong faith.
People are unpredictable and unreliable and of course that keeps everything always interesting. But I have faith .............................

Bliss
X

Jesus and the woman of Samaria

Jesus does something that is very dramatic here. When Jesus is discussed in this chapter as having spoken to a Samaritan woman; it’s a shocking concept. In fact in the synoptic gospels, Jesus does something quite surprising. He made the Samaritan the hero of one of His parables- the Good Samaritan. You’ve got to understand how radical this is. It’s like making an Arab the hero to the Jew or the Jew the hero to the Arab in a parable. That would be the same kind of enmity they had.
Even speaking to the woman, He overcomes a number of barriers, as we’re about to see.
In John 4:2, where Jesus wasn’t baptizing but His disciples were, it corrects an inaccuracy in the information that had apparently reached the Pharisees. Here’s what is happening- tremendous hostility as a consequence of Jesus’ growing reputation. Surely when John the Baptist was brought into captivity and then finally executed and Jesus was really getting their attention, He knew then that He also had to keep Himself away. All four gospels express Jesus’ concern to avoid arrest at the hands of the Pharisees before the appointed time. So that’s why it says in John 4:3-4, “He left Judea and went away into Galilee, and He had to pass through Samaria.” I think He went there because it was the shortest route and also there are appointments that take place.
God has divine appointments. He didn’t necessarily leave Judea with any fixed intention of ministering in Samaria, He just planned to pass through but the Spirit will always blow wherever He wishes. True messengers of God are never subject to fixed programs and to prejudices. We need to keep that in mind for ourselves. You don’t know what you’re called to do. You don’t know what ministry you’re going to have and very often your greatest moment might be something that was not planned- something may appear to be an interruption or something that might not seem very productive.

This has been brought to my attention once again. I recall being confused on the first occasion it was brought to my attention.

My heckles go up when I read about the Jews being the chosen ones -  that's how interpret it and have to look deeper into the meaning and the impact on me - somethign for strong contemplation. It's not that I am prejudiced towards a race of people but I read an implication of a "special" race.The special and different attitude.If I am not careful I will be accused of being anti-Semitic and that is far from what I am saying. What I am trying to say is that God is surely not biased or offer preferential anything to anyone person or thing. That perhaps the lessons are spreading slowly slowly around humanity shows that contentment and learning is available to everyone whenever they are ready. And perhaps there were people in Israel who were ready before others but this doesn't mean they are the first and only. And to me the fact that different belief systems were developing over the Earth shows that others were also ready much earlier in our evolutionary development but just in different ways. And that's why I am not considered a Christian I suppose - because I don;t believe in the ONE way or ONE lesson. All the stories from all beliefs systems can resonate clearly with me in different ways. Fundamentally I believe and this is personal that all the belief systems are advocating the same thing - Godliness as a way of being.

I believe that I am working and walking int he direction of Godliness.

So that is one part of the interpretation I have.

Then there is more ... how when the woman realises that she is in the presence of a prophet how she becomes open and interested and is very giving and sharing of her precious water. The very fact that Jesus made her an important person in his travels shows that he was unbiased. No one better or worse than any other. Equality, acceptance, tolerance of others with different struggles.

I also like the reference to never really knowing what any journey will bring and being open to shifts and changes. Going with the flow and something will always occur as a result.

I was very sorry to not be travelling with JH. With really strong longing about it. But since the day I was supposed to leave so many other things have been able to happen. I need to trust that having made a decision for one reason and then questioning the decision on the basis of being confused about how I have been once again very affectionate with JH, well it's all a little muddled really.

And then I read into things once again. I must remember that JH himself agreed that he is not available to be able to fully love me. By that I don;t mean he doesn't love me. He is a very loving person and loves humanity I believe. But he is not available to place his love within a relationship right now to his fullest.

This is an example of him and I travelling on one path so we thought and then things happen to change the trajectory. It is different but no less meaningful.

Not sure where all that came from. And I am sure to forget the essence that I have taken that has brought me acceptance and calm but for this moment it means a lot.

Thank you Universe for bringing this to me again.

The angels work well in bringing signs - I sometimes forget to notice them and even when I notice them I forget to make time to look into them and see what it is I need to learn.

Bliss

xx

Living the dream

Ha ha, last night I dreamt about blood. Or rather in the early hours of this morning. It's very vague but I was bleeding and it wouldn't stop. This monring I had blood tests. Not only that, after she removed the syringe, the little hole wouldn't stop bleeding. Of course ventually it did but after several plasters and her having to press on the wound and hold my arm up.
Furthermore I was talking about bleeding with my dad.
So if this is living the dream by golly I am ..... :)))
Or is the dream living me?

I am going to start reading the first of my set books. A cup of coffee and then start. I am just disorganised. And the more chaotic my flat is the more I just want to ignore it all.
I think tomorrow I will spend time dedicating to getting organised. So even though it is highly likely I will be at work on Wednesday, at least I am making he space for studying.
It is an odd process I am going through. It started all last year.
It is sheer laziness. But I also know that laziness covers up a lot of fear.
Nah I am really lazy!!!!!!!
Oh and I feel generally run down right now. I really am not enjoying the way my health takes my energy. I hope this passes soon.

So a couple of hourse reading and note taking. Then I will be off for a walk with Abigail. It is absolutely puring with rain and the roads around here are turning into rivers. All the water off the hilly fields crsses the roads on its way down into the valley. The water is either very red or very yellow. I wonder what minerals can be found in the earth around here. It's pretty as the coloured water finds its path down the roads. It's fipping dangerous though.
We dont have extremes of course like the disasters recently in Brisbane, Brazil and Sri Lanka to mention a few. But compared to other areas in SE England we do get some extremier conditions than some.
The joys of village living.

I am still wanting to isolate and so being stuck in this village it would be easy to simply disappear. However I have arranged for a walk with AB this afternoon and then after supper with her, GB and RB, Rb and I will go to a meeting.

Bliss
X

Notes on The Brain (BBC4) documentary and emotions: feeling the emotion

These are simply fast typed notes from a documentary I was watching ... excuse any errors or misinformation
(Pleasing to realise that I have learnt as all a very very familiar to me)

Watson believed that we are born with emotions.
Where do they come from - born with them or learnt?
Love fear and rage - mixing gives emotional range.
But he believed every experience we have later in life is the product of childhood experiences.
What you hated, who you would fall in love with and what would make you happy

Controversial but important experiment - Little Albert the study of fear

Is it possible to make a person phobic? - horrid video footage creating fright in the little child.
Well known experiments creating fear in the small child - placing objects with which he played happily and then later introducing loud sounds for example that scare the little child everything the once harmless stimuli is placed by the child
This child died very young - aged 6yrs, anonymous - Douglas, from an infectious disease. There is no trace of what actually happened after he left the experimental regime .
I wonder if the experiments left a mark on his psyche then affecting his physical health??

Love
What is it and what is it for?
Affection and love - does it develop and simply reinforce the bond with the person who feeds the baby?
Harry Harlow - studier of love.
The experiment of the baby monkeys and seeking comfort. It's a weird experiment creating a surrogate mother built from bits of scrap.
One of these surrogate mothers offered food ( a basic need satisfying hunger) and the other simple comfort and affectionate representative of a soft cover.
Rosenbaum - tended to agree that the monkeys seemed to form a loving attachment to the cloth mother
But he then created the cloth mother rejecting the monkey and being the one who created the emotional distress.
So it was deduced that having created a loving attachment the baby clung harder when the mother was the creator of emotional distress.
Deprived of love does this bring about despair and depression.
Harlow proved that in isolation and without any love the moneys were very disturbed.
Of course there is evidence now from orphaned babies not held or nurtured that there is an under development in the brain.
Proof indeed that we all need companionship and affection and close physical contact.
Changes were affected by Harlow's very controversial experiments.

Albert Bandura
Study of aggression - watching violence induces aggression - is this true?
With Watson showing that emotions are innate but associating them with experiences is the learning of the application of them ....

Empathy
Christian Keyser and the study of empathy
own feelings of pain important in understanding the pain in others
Current experiments monitor the reaction in the brain
same areas in the brain light up whether watching someone else experiencing pain as when receiving pain.

Brain scans can help model who we really are rather than what we want to think we are or want others to think we are.
Interesting.


Terrible personal misfortune and the ways in which this affects emotional processing.
Antonio Dimasio
http://fora.tv/2009/07/04/Antonio_Damasio_This_Time_With_Feeling
I have his books and as yet have not read them - well have dipped in and out.

A man with a brain tumor has it removed but it affected a change in him. He was emotionally flat, his wife describes him as cold. He says he does not feel emotions. He did not feel love anymore for his wife despite not falling out of love with her,
He relies on a cognitive realisation of what it might feel like for others because he cannot actually feel it.
He imagined that perhaps serial killers don't have emotions. Nothing would bother a killer perhaps.
The way he stops himself is by remembering that he is not a serial killer.
He can still read emotions in other people - recognising tears as sadness but whether he can use that to influence his decisions for himself.
Dimasio showed that decision making is dependant on emotional responses to situations.
He undermined the belief that decision making is all logical.
Emotional cues - commonly known as gut instincts.
INSTINCTUAL - emotionally driven.
But it's so close how the emotions education the cognition.
And then it seems like rational logical decisions are being made.

These are theories and experiments that match my own beliefs from years of observation now and my own experiences.
So a man who has no emotional response =??
So strange observing a person with no emotional responses. Incredible. And I guess there is this within degrees of aspergers and autism.
Empathy is so crucial to understanding self. This happens often at a sub conscious level. And contributes to a sense of self and the Theory of Mind in relating with others.
Vital to companionship and closeness which we have established is crucial to us humans and other animals

Ah Dimasio speaks about social emotions such as guilt and embarrassment or shame pride etc.
There are also biological emotions eg fear
Feeling is the capping of the process which then combined with logic and reason makes us sophisticated beings compared with non sentient probably lacking in conscious awareness creatures such as a snail without any brain who is a complicated biological functioing thing.

Distinction between emotion and thinking is so important but has been non -concious
When we feel the emotion is when we know we have it - as otherwsie the emotion goes undetected.
And then we may not be aware of what is driving our decision making.

Fascinated Bliss
X

Cabinet of Curiosities

Kenneth Snelson

"...concerned with the interplay of natural forces, and a dedication to finding ways in which those forces might manifest themselves in three-dimensional forms. "

Following JH's visit to USA - what interesting ideas - looks like a galaxy of stars - not my orignial thought but it kind of associated for me. It's actually called Sleeping Dragon.
 Atom

The incredibly haunting voice of Ofra Haza - what a sound. Singing Led Zeppelins song beautifully. At least I think it is their song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fu5Cgb6Yy4Y&feature=related

I first heard Ofra as the vocals on Sarah Brightmans album Harem. But there is no version on You Tube. It's stunning on her album




Check out these two ....


http://www.google.co.uk/images?q=gilbert+and+george&hl=en&safe=off&rls=com.microsoft:en-gb:IE-Address&rlz=1I7SKPB&prmd=ivnsu&source=lnms&tbs=isch:1&ei=694yTebCMIfQjAePtv3YCg&sa=X&oi=mode_link&ct=mode&cd=2&ved=0CBQQ_AUoAQ&biw=1259&bih=606





Sorry about the extortionate link address
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilbert_and_George
My friend sees one or both of them at her market stall and suggested I take a look.

I found myself attracted and yet for what I do not know. Initially it seemed to be to be incredibly narcissistic that George and Gilbert seem to be the feature of every piece of work. And then when I considered this more, of course everyone is at the centre of everything they do even if its altruism. And so the fact that their work is developed around their lives in the East End it is about them - why not?
Colourful in a sort of satirical way. Everything about their work seems to be an incredibly strong message. I am not sure if this is what they are intending. I would imagine so because of the subjects they are appearing in.
If AB and I go to the Tate Modern next Saturday as planned I will look out for them. I am not even sure they are there. I suppose it's possible to check out what is in each gallery in advance. They have a new exhibition at the White Cube. Mmmm its a way from the Tate but will see what AB thinks


I like this T-shirt even though I am anti the whole designer clothes cost thing. I appreciate that designers should be paid their worth, I just have something against the whole hiked up prices for articles of clothing reproduced over and over and over again and sold at extortionate prices. I have probably got this all wrong as I have not done any research. Yes I can see quality stuff and materials - but truly the prices are diriculous and I always suspect where and the conditions under which some things are made.

An amazing day!

"I punched you on the nose once!". "I know", I calmly replied, nodding and maintaining eye contact. "I remember all the blood on my school blouse and how I ran out of the house shouting, "you've done it now!"
Then my dad said it had haunted him ever since and that he was sorry. Both inside and outside I felt very still, peaceful.
This conversation seemed to come out of the blue. But actually things have been heading in this direction for probably a few years now. The first big change for me was when I told him I was going to Spain. I faced my terror or telling him. I left it right up until the last minute. He protested, of course. However, I thanked him for his thoughts and said I would be back in April. I think it was last year or maybe the year before when I said that I would no longer call him as when I did there seemed to be a worse atmosphere than if he called me. I have crossed this boundary from time to time. On the occasion when my desire for my dad or a need for his input has driven me to call. But the experience was always as expected and gradually I have been able to remind myself not to call. And sure enough he has called me. I told him at that time I think or maybe another time how I feel about something very important - damn I can't remember what it is now. I think it was to do with the way he talks to me on the phone or something along those lines. On occasions we have met, I have not been drawn in to his negativity about me. The conversations have been getting lighter and lighter I think. Oh did tell him how I had felt when he had kissed his step daughters and shook my hand. of course after that he stepped forward to kiss me on the cheek as we said goodbye and I nearly vomited. That has become easier to receive although I do not make myself available for that.
When we met sometime around October or November, can't quite remember when, my dad said he was proud of me in relation to the studying I am doing and the work that I now do. He gave me some money. I have never asked him for any money at all since mum died. And he told me that he was leaving his medals to me in his will. I wrote to him to thank him for the money. I also said how him being proud of me meant so much. I think I mentioned that I don't recall him having said that before. I told him how honoured I felt that he would consider leaving me his medals knowing how important they are to him.
These are just snippets of years of change in me that I think have partially contributed to today's conversation. Also of course I behave very differently today. I am still me, perhaps more me than ever before. I am sure this must be conveyed during our interaction. I wonder though if he is or has been working on himself too. He is remarkable different. Or maybe he is really mellowing with his age.

In relation to the event mentioned at the beginning of this entry, I could recall us arguing at the top of the stairs. He pointed out that I had sneaked out and he was angry with me. I protested, saying that I was in my school uniform. Since a young child I had come home from school to an empty house. I was always expected to fend for myself. Of course this meant I was probably quite feral even though I knew the rules. I didn't say this to my dad today. I did say that I thought he had come home early from work and maybe found me not at home. But he said I had sneaked out. I could not remember this detail. So we spoke about how angry he always seemed. I asked him if he was angry. And that triggered various conversations about his military past and his own childhood.
He was evacuated from London when he was about 7 or 9 years old. Him and Uncle Mick, sent away from their mum and his older brother Uncle Frank. At this point he made a comment about his mother thinking that Uncle Frank won the war single handed when he didn't see half the front line service my dad had seen. I could see the anger with his mother at that moment (I have always heard his hatred - anger - for her) They returned when dad was about 12 years old he thinks. He was sent to a family in Kings Langley, near Watford. He said that their mother always dressed them very well. The kids at school in London used to take the mickey out of them but it was much worse when they got to Kings Langley. So he and Uncle Mick would hide their coats on the way to school. He seemed to imply they had good coats and remembers this being the cause of them being bullied. One day on the way home he got one of the boys and pummelled him to a pulp. I could see the relief on my dads face as he said it. And then they ran and hid because they knew they would get in trouble. The bullied becomes the bully.
My dad could remember that during the air raids they had to go into Maida Vale tube station. All the people lying around and some even on the tracks. This he really emphasised. And then the people were moved off the tracks when a train had to pass through. He said as a boy he recalled seeing the train pass slowly by with all bodies. I said did you see the bodies then? He replied "I could only see bags" I suppose he must have heard the adults saying something about the bodies. He said it was so horrible. He was there when he said it it seemed to me.
Oh and he said the people he and Uncle Mick had to live with weren't nice to them. They ate dog biscuits because they didn't get much food. I wonder if this was true????
The we spoke a little about his military service. He talked about being in Korea. There was a time they were escorting a train of dead Americans. He said something about people trying to steal from the bodies and his troop had to keep them away. Then they came across a load of deserters who also tried to rob the bodies and he gave orders, shoot to kill. And then there were Koreans who tried to cross the borders as stow-aways on the train. They had to clear them off the roof. One time a woman fell off the roof onto the tracks. She lost her arm and leg under the train. My dad said it was a horrid decision leaving her there to bleed to death or dispose of her were his words.
Some of this was prompted when I spoke about encounters with military people within my field of work and how I can see a certain something that seems common. I can see it as something that is shut down so firmly, like a little bit of soul has been killed. I didn't say that last bit to my dad. I mentioned how I had met up with CY and seen it in him. My dad could remember CY from Reid's Farm and his sister DY.
He talked about how FC framed him one time. Something to do with a note being found in the dry cleaners under my dads trousers. He said it was something to do with police corruption. I am not sure. I remember there being a big problem for him involving a boy at the swimming baths or something. I am not clear on the details. He described how two police officers were sent to speak with him about this letter that had been found but there was a satisfactory outcome for him.
Then he talked about my friend LK. He said he could tell me things that would shock me about her. Now I know that she wasn't allowed to come and stay as there was some accusation about his inappropriate behaviour towards her. I think he was wriggling out of things here. Too difficult for him to own? I don;t know.
I was thinking for a while that I should say and do you remember doing this to me????????? But I couldn't. I am just not ready.
I said that I had always felt he was so strict with me. My friends could do things and I couldn't. And at times I was naughty but actually I was rebelling because I didn't know what else to do. He then said that he knows he was trying to make me behave how he thought I should. Some of it was trying too hard to protect me. But he can see how he was stopping me from being the individual I was.
Other things were discussed. If I remember more specifics I will add them.

As we departed, I was struggling not to scream with emotional pain. I expelled really odd sounds. I managed to hold it together until I was no longer driving behind him. And then let it out. Somehow I so so wanted my daddy. Like a little girl I really wanted him to hold me and tell me everything was OK. And that he loved me. But of course it is impossible to get that now. Whilst there is a little girl in me still, she does not physically exist now. And with my dad owning some of his behaviour, I would not feel safe despite my longing.

At the same time I was flipping angry. Suddenly I thought I could not feel how I have felt all these years because he is suddenly owning something. It took speaking to a very very good friend to be reminded that I still have the feelings I have always had. And just because he is taking some responsibility I do not have to forgive here and now. I will need time to digest what I have heard. All the horrors and his denial have defined me for so long. Wow! Such a complicated mix of emotions. I felt in shock too.
When speaking with AM, I was stuttering like a child and spluttering with air and tears all at the same time.

Am listened and said she cannot imagine what it must be like after all this time for me to have an apology, some ownership for something that has been so hurtful for as long as I can remember. I think perhaps he is trying to own and say sorry for it all. I guess it is up to me to bring the greater things to the discussion. I would probably kill him if he talked about other things that he did. I think I really need a session or two with SC. I will call him on Monday.
This is a big thing. I felt absolutely drained emotionally. I was physically tired.

But I shopped for AB's birthday present. I bought some arty stuff for me. And then went off to a lovely evening birthday celebration with AB. Her sister and mum were there. We had the cake and pressie opening ceremony, we played an anagram game and then went off for an Indian meal. It was all lovely. And always I feel very warm amidst their family. AB is a very very important friend to me. She was delighted it seemed that I wrote to my "BESTEST" friend in her card.

I am now home and really missing JH. Wondering what he is doing? How his flight was? What his accommodation is like? Would like to just be held by him tonight after all of this weird day.
Sad. I want to be able to love and to be loved and for him to be able to love me.

JH said as I was driving to meet my dad, that he hoped something good would come of the meeting. I responded saying that I would look for the good. This was positivity that I ignore. I know the bad and look for the bad. So to go with a different attitude was good for me. Helpful and after the uplifting through speaking with ET, things were beginning to look less gloomy. I could go with some peace. Of course the difficult feelings of not being on the travel adventure continue to wash over me.
I never imagined in my lifetime this conversation could have taken place. I never thought my dad would ever take ownership and offer any apology for anything. It is an incredible day. I guess it might not have happened ever should I have been flying instead of meeting my dad. Who knows the order of the world, only the Universe does.

Now I need to be gentle and let this sink in. I need to consider all that this means to me.
I think it significant that always in times involving my dad and extreme abuse things I can only really speak the emotions with AM. I can talk with the others afterwards. AM truly, truly hears my deepest emotions without me having to say them.
Thank goodness for great friends and people in my life.

It;s a little less dark deep inside me tonight.
Thank you Universe

Bliss
X

Reflections of the reflections

Oh my gosh I have so not prepared myself for the emotional overload I have today. Not that I think it is possible to prepare for emotions really.
I feel jealousy, I feel weird but I don;t know how to describe that more fully. I feel scared. I feel excited for JH. I feel very very sad. I feel confused. I feel annoyed. I feel a longing. I feel alone.

JH briefly Whatsapped this morning. So re-packing and then leaving. A rush of emotion sped through my entire body. Even as I write here again. I don;t even know what the emotion is. It's like an electric shock that runs right through me. I can see it rushing through me.
I feel indeed very very sorry and sad that I am not going. I was excited about the trip and being with JH just having fun. And as we have been spending time just sor tof getting along - the outside world not entering into things - I have this longing and wondering why it's been necessary for me to break up from JH.
Of course I had a taste again the other evening when I felt him withdrawn and how the events of the past raise my insecurity again. Gosh howthe reflections reflect.
So he was re-packing and then leaving - and DJ was taking him to the station. That is lovely. It truly is and I am aware JH feels the nerves of travel - time is so important. Getting the train just right and checking in and the fluster of the airport etc. But once that's over and just sitting waiting it's so mich easier. Well it is for me anyway. I remember sitting at Heathrow, my plane to Amsterdam delayed. I was in a hurry to get to JH. At the same time I was just sitting there watching the comings and goings of people. Its calming for me.

I am sad that I feel unable to be adventuring with JH. I would long ago have been at the airport.
God its so powerful this rush that keeps running through me. I should be there. I really should!
I can't explain how wrong this feels.

You know whats vry sad is that I wasn;t able to change my mind yet again because I feel so ill. I feel scared of this. It's dibilitating. I don't really want to go out at all. But I am having to put one foot in front of the other. My world would very easily be so tiny and compared to what I am used to my world is already so small. I feel trapped right at the moment. And it's also sad that because of circumstances I didn;t feel safe with JH. I had before felt very safe with him. I don;t mean in any way that he would hurt me physically. No no no. I know too that he is a very loving man and cares incredibly. But I see how he needs all his energy for himself.

Oh my gosh. I have just realised I have never ever in my life cancelled a trip. I did cancel the idea of going to peru with ML but it wasn;t like this an actual cancellation and right at this stage having booked etc. I feel I have let down JH so badly. I fel terrible about the waste of money. I feel terrible about nor sharing the experiences we could be sharing. I feel shit!!! ON many levles.
It feels very big and I don;t kow if writign about it is actually making it any better at all. I seem to be escalating it.

I am thinking of him being at the airport as I should be at the airport
I am thinking about how I would be on a plane and reading and thinking. The smells, the sounds, the people. And I am not doing all these things.
It stinks
I am sorry JH.

I feel such longing.
Included in this is the knowledge that I won't be having much contact with JH and he will not be just having his usual life but will be very busy oooohhhin and aaaaahhing with a wealth of newness to bretahe in. I will be even less on his mind.
This is weird to acknowledge to myself. And so frigging selfish I suspect.

Wow HP. ET called .................
perfect timimg and reality check.



JH's trip

ITINERARY


ATLANTA hostel
223 Ponce de Leon Avenue NE Atlanta, GA 30308
phone +14048759449

Hostel in the Forest workshop
Hostel in the Forest ? manager@foresthostel.com 912-264-9738
Ryan (manager)
31 09’ 45” N, 81 35’ 45” W
We’re 10 miles west of Brunswick, Georgia on Highway 82. If you’re traveling on I-95, take exit 29 and
proceed west for two miles. After passing a radio station on your left, the highway becomes divided. When
you reach the next intersection, just past mile marker 11, make a U-turn. There are no signal lights at this
intersection, but you will notice the road to the left is Myers Hill Road. After making a U-turn, you should
continue driving east on Highway 82 for another half mile. After passing mile marker 11, slow down
dramatically and you’ll find a small dirt road on your right with a gate and “The Hostel” sign. If you’ve
made reservations, then open the gate and drive down the bumpy road a half-mile to our parking lot.
There are some big puddles especially after it rains, but don’t worry, there is plenty of gravel in the road
and you won’t get stuck.

Savannah: 78 miles (1,5 hrs)
Charleston, sc 116 miles (2 hrs 15 mins) Notso Hostel
CHECK IN: 5-10 PM CHECK OUT: 10 AM
156 Spring St.
Charleston, SC 29403
+18437228383

Asheville, NC
816 Haywood Road, Asheville, NC 28806 phone +18283509929

Asheville, NC (double bed- 65/night)
asheville/ atlanta 207 miles (4 hours) (arrive 14:00!)
atlanta/ Drew's facility 240 miles (5 hours) arrive about 21:00 ish ??
Drew Langsner Near Marshal, NC
Phone: +1 8286562280 (M-F, 9-6 Eastern time)
990 Black Pine Ridge Rd
Marshall, North Calorina 28753
36° 1'17.82"N 82°37'53.12"W

ATLANTA hostel (buy tools!!! and caps!!)
223 Ponce de Leon Avenue NE Atlanta, GA 30308
phone +14048759449