Grr motor insurance query following random research. In the end I renewed my car ins with RAC. They seemingly have not passed on data from previous claims within last 5 years rendering my policy invalid. I shake inside with fury. Fury fuelled by fear of more expense that I can't afford possibly - want them to give me cheaper expenses. So financial insecurity. Fury also fuelled by need to sort out a complication and in something I don't fully understand furthermore fear of being fibbed off. We stand no chance as service buyers. They always say they are in the right. Now have to rearrange insurance no doubt at huge expense. 3 accidents in last 5 years none of which have been my fault! Grrrrrrrr. Further anger now about those stupid drivers and ongoing inconvenience I am put to. Still think there are cons at foot.
What went well was that I was able to sort it out albeit costing me a lot of money.
3 incidents none of which have been my fault and the insurance companies are charging everyone - it's such a rip off world.
I can observe my anger about the situation and my frustrations.
I am financially insecure. Not trusting that everything will be OK whatever happens. It has always worked out up to this point in my life.
I may have to ask my dad for a loan if I cannot get back to work and get some extra sessions in.
I don't like and never have liked how dependant I am on the job I have - I took a lower paid job and less hours but could not afford to do even the occasional thing. All I had was study and work. I had more time but to do some of the things I enjoy costs money - even an art workshop etc. Money I just did not have.
It seems that it is not possible to have everything. If I want more money I have to work more and take on more stress which I do not like. If I want more time I cannot have enough money to cover more than the basics. And that I don't like either.
This means coming to terms with things as they are and choosing the least costly option to me as a whole. Worrying about finances is such a stress maker. I think it contributes to illness. And then I am aware that even with extra work I cannot afford private medical services yet that is where there is actually real help for things considered less important by the welfare system.
Gosh it's a complicated world.
So all these things rise up in me when as issue like the car insurance matter comes to the fore. Money. The main evocater of the emotional response.
Now I am considering whether I cancel the pet insurance for LouLou - it's £80 per month now with an increasing excess of £150 per claim. Seems crazy. I am paying out more than I can ever get back over all. If I cancel it and save the £80 per month it will soon build up and earn a little interest - a real little currently. But what if there is a major incident before I have saved up a reasonable amount? This is a risk I may have to take. I need to act urgently if I am going to go ahead. Already I am paying £22 per 2 months for her pills and cannot get all of that back in a year. Grrrr - expense expense expense. Services are costly, more costly than their worth?
On the other hand if I maintain the insurance can I expect the very best treatment for LouLou in exchange. If anything should happen I would want her to have the best chances. I don't know if there are different prices and what's actually claimable. Some of it it isn't for example a biopsy - would not be claimable .... crazy world!! It's all about profit I think and less about the best possible for the individual. Pay for a service yes indeed and of course money needs to be made to cover all costs. But at increasing expense for bigger profits and fat cats. And I am in on the grid and cycle of it all!!!
Frustrating ....
I have caught up and understood a lot about the biology of the cell. I am relieved to have got a bit of a grip on it. Now I realise the enormity of the assignment that I am behind on ...
3 questions - 2 carry the highest percentage of the marks. And they require a lot of input and I am behind the schedule.
Today I have arranged an early walk with AB and then dropping her off at the M&S as I go on to see SC at a cost I cannot afford. One nice thing is that AB and RB will contribute to my petrol.
I will clock the miles but am unsure how much per mile it is these days.
I have less than £18 per day to spend until the end of this month and need some of that to afford the additional cost of the car insurance. This stinks.
And I am ashamed of this state of affairs - at my age I expect myself to be better established. I have frittered away so much having a good and free life and paying for it now. I knew this but did nothing about it.
I am very unprepared for older age. Yet I didn't want to spend my life waiting around for it to happen.
There was enormous irresponsibility with money as well and I am certainly paying the price of that now.
I can get very disapproving of myself about this and expect that others will judge me harshly too. Some will of course. This is how it is and I need to once again adjust to actual circumstances and not how I wished it was.
I need to contact my dad and ask to borrow some money. I feel so scared and ashamed to do this even though he seemed willing when I mentioned it to him.
Hey ho! I can deal with a little bit better today. And thank goodness this didn't all arise a couple of days ago. It may well have been the final thing to send me out to act our my deathly plan. It's there - large and scary. Weird isn't it how my desire to be dead and my plan scares me. I welcome death but am afraid of carrying out the deed!
I cannot explain this.
Well off to get ready to go to AB. The big wedding tomorrow so even less time for studying. And then just one more signed off week at this stage. I am scared what will happen after that. But keep it in today and I have time to be even more disciplined if my concentration remains with me - if not then the doc may suggest even more time off. God!
Universe - this is how things are for me right now. I have to try and maintain the trust that it is all going to be OK whatever happens. I need the strength first to hold onto that.
Bliss
XX
What went well was that I was able to sort it out albeit costing me a lot of money.
3 incidents none of which have been my fault and the insurance companies are charging everyone - it's such a rip off world.
I can observe my anger about the situation and my frustrations.
I am financially insecure. Not trusting that everything will be OK whatever happens. It has always worked out up to this point in my life.
I may have to ask my dad for a loan if I cannot get back to work and get some extra sessions in.
I don't like and never have liked how dependant I am on the job I have - I took a lower paid job and less hours but could not afford to do even the occasional thing. All I had was study and work. I had more time but to do some of the things I enjoy costs money - even an art workshop etc. Money I just did not have.
It seems that it is not possible to have everything. If I want more money I have to work more and take on more stress which I do not like. If I want more time I cannot have enough money to cover more than the basics. And that I don't like either.
This means coming to terms with things as they are and choosing the least costly option to me as a whole. Worrying about finances is such a stress maker. I think it contributes to illness. And then I am aware that even with extra work I cannot afford private medical services yet that is where there is actually real help for things considered less important by the welfare system.
Gosh it's a complicated world.
So all these things rise up in me when as issue like the car insurance matter comes to the fore. Money. The main evocater of the emotional response.
Now I am considering whether I cancel the pet insurance for LouLou - it's £80 per month now with an increasing excess of £150 per claim. Seems crazy. I am paying out more than I can ever get back over all. If I cancel it and save the £80 per month it will soon build up and earn a little interest - a real little currently. But what if there is a major incident before I have saved up a reasonable amount? This is a risk I may have to take. I need to act urgently if I am going to go ahead. Already I am paying £22 per 2 months for her pills and cannot get all of that back in a year. Grrrr - expense expense expense. Services are costly, more costly than their worth?
On the other hand if I maintain the insurance can I expect the very best treatment for LouLou in exchange. If anything should happen I would want her to have the best chances. I don't know if there are different prices and what's actually claimable. Some of it it isn't for example a biopsy - would not be claimable .... crazy world!! It's all about profit I think and less about the best possible for the individual. Pay for a service yes indeed and of course money needs to be made to cover all costs. But at increasing expense for bigger profits and fat cats. And I am in on the grid and cycle of it all!!!
Frustrating ....
I have caught up and understood a lot about the biology of the cell. I am relieved to have got a bit of a grip on it. Now I realise the enormity of the assignment that I am behind on ...
3 questions - 2 carry the highest percentage of the marks. And they require a lot of input and I am behind the schedule.
Today I have arranged an early walk with AB and then dropping her off at the M&S as I go on to see SC at a cost I cannot afford. One nice thing is that AB and RB will contribute to my petrol.
I will clock the miles but am unsure how much per mile it is these days.
I have less than £18 per day to spend until the end of this month and need some of that to afford the additional cost of the car insurance. This stinks.
And I am ashamed of this state of affairs - at my age I expect myself to be better established. I have frittered away so much having a good and free life and paying for it now. I knew this but did nothing about it.
I am very unprepared for older age. Yet I didn't want to spend my life waiting around for it to happen.
There was enormous irresponsibility with money as well and I am certainly paying the price of that now.
I can get very disapproving of myself about this and expect that others will judge me harshly too. Some will of course. This is how it is and I need to once again adjust to actual circumstances and not how I wished it was.
I need to contact my dad and ask to borrow some money. I feel so scared and ashamed to do this even though he seemed willing when I mentioned it to him.
Hey ho! I can deal with a little bit better today. And thank goodness this didn't all arise a couple of days ago. It may well have been the final thing to send me out to act our my deathly plan. It's there - large and scary. Weird isn't it how my desire to be dead and my plan scares me. I welcome death but am afraid of carrying out the deed!
I cannot explain this.
Well off to get ready to go to AB. The big wedding tomorrow so even less time for studying. And then just one more signed off week at this stage. I am scared what will happen after that. But keep it in today and I have time to be even more disciplined if my concentration remains with me - if not then the doc may suggest even more time off. God!
Universe - this is how things are for me right now. I have to try and maintain the trust that it is all going to be OK whatever happens. I need the strength first to hold onto that.
Bliss
XX
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