I was sent this today and how relevant it was with the controlling me .......
EMBRACING THE GOOD...
LETTING GO OF THE BAD
by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.
It is a strange fact of life that we let little - very little - things take away our precious peace of mind. How silly is that? In his wonderful book, Joy Is My Compass, Alan Cohen describes his great moment of awakening when it came to letting go of trivial things in his life that tend to drive him crazy. This moment didn't come upon him on the top of a great mountain or at the edge of a vast ocean. No, his moment of awakening came to him at McDonald's! (There are many paths to awakening!)
He reports that from the minute he walked into McDonald's for a quick lunch, he was miserable. He remembered someone telling him there was sugar in the French fries. He imagined the presence of preservatives in the apple pie. He lamented the preponderance of noisy kids disturbing the whole environment, and on and on and on. He vowed he would never return. But, then, as he sat there in what he called "the smog of my own thoughts," the voice from his Higher Self came through loud and clear. It asked him a profound question that made all the difference...
"What if this were all alright?"
He gasped, "What do you mean...alright?!? This is terrible!" His Higher Self answered...
"What if nothing around you holds any power to make you unhappy?"
What a concept! What a breakthrough! All of a sudden, Alan Cohen saw everything with new eyes. He looked at the boisterous kids and decided their laughter and shouts reflected their joy. What's wrong with a little joy in the middle of the afternoon? He decided a little sugar and preservatives wasn't going to affect his ability to love. He decided that everything that was previously annoying him was totally alright. He said...
"Something happened to me when I let it all be OK. I felt relief. My heart opened. I was at peace. I had found the answer to being there. I had found the answer to all of life. Just let it be."
With this realization, he got in line for some more French fries and apple pie, which, he concluded, was what they serve in heaven! And he basked in the wonder of letting it all be alright.
After I read Alan Cohen's story, I thought about all the little things in my life that I was constantly obsessing about...getting the right table in the restaurant, the weather, the stock market, the traffic, points of view that were different from mine, other people's behavior, getting everywhere on time. And so on. What a struggle!
What if any table I got was OK? What if the weather was perfect exactly as it was? What if the delays in traffic were just part of the scene? What if other people's opinion had nothing to do with my happiness? What if life would go on joyfully even if I arrived at an appointment a little bit late? What if all that little stuff was OK? What a freedom! Then I would be "wearing the world just as a loose garment" instead of struggling to make it all different than it is.
So much of our struggle with life has to do primarily with minor things in life. The big things often pull forward an incredible sense of power and inner knowing. I had breast cancer many years ago and I handled it beautifully. I made it a triumph instead of a tragedy. By way of contrast, I got a very bad hair perm three weeks before my present marriage. Did I make that a triumph? No way. You would have thought my world was coming to an end. Even after the wedding, I was upset for months until the frizzy hair finally grew out.
Does this make any sense on a Spiritual level? Absolutely not! My Higher Self could care less about my hair. It's hard to believe my Lower Self cared so much, but it did. Had I known what I know today, I would have been in a much better position to say to myself...
Let go. Let peace. Let joy.
I think all of us should paste stickers everywhere we can see them, that say, "What if this were all alright?" It would help to remind us to pull ourselves out of the negativity of our Lower Self and lift us to the freedom of our Higher Self.
So think about the many little things that cause upset in your life. Getting a dent in your new car. Forgetting to buy something at the supermarket. Sitting in the airport for two hours because the plane was delayed. Rain when you had invited people over for a picnic. It's at these times that we really need to take a step back and asked ourselves that profound question..."What if this were all alright?" Yes, we do what we can to change what is not working in our life, but for those many little things we can't control, letting go, letting peace and letting joy is the heavenly way to go.
As an exercise, I suggest you write down all of the situations in your life that are causing you struggle and ask yourself the same question about each situation..."What if this were all alright?" Each time you ask this question, take a deep breath and relax. You will experience a momentary feeling of peace. Do this over and over again until just the asking of the question is associated with a deep breath and a feeling of relaxation. And as you go through each day, notice where you are trying to control everything around you. Add it to your list and keep asking yourself the question, "What if this were all alright?"
If you think about it, what I am talking about here is simply a shift in focus. Why do we always look at what's missing instead of what's there? Why do we always look at the bad, instead of the good? Why do we always focus on the ugliness instead of the beauty? When we focus on what's missing, or what's bad, or what's ugly, we are operating from the level of the Lower Self. Why not rise above the Lower Self and see what the world looks like from the Higher Self?
We can create this shift in focus in all areas of our life that bring us upset. The truth is that blessings surround us all the time. That shift in focus isn't a delusion. In fact...
We are deluding ourselves when we focus on the bad!
Read that again! So when that lousy table comes up and there are no others available, you say to yourself, "Yes the table may be lousy, but look at all that is wonderful in this situation. How blessed I am!" Indeed, when life is seen in this way, we are a step farther in conquering our control addictions and there is very little that can take away our peace of mind.
I know it takes a lot of practice to reach a "let go" state of mind, but the one thing I can assure you is...I'll be practicing right along with you!
From my heart to yours,
Susan Jeffers
Copyright © 2012 Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
Adapted from End the Struggle and Dance with Life
EMBRACING THE GOOD...
LETTING GO OF THE BAD
by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.
It is a strange fact of life that we let little - very little - things take away our precious peace of mind. How silly is that? In his wonderful book, Joy Is My Compass, Alan Cohen describes his great moment of awakening when it came to letting go of trivial things in his life that tend to drive him crazy. This moment didn't come upon him on the top of a great mountain or at the edge of a vast ocean. No, his moment of awakening came to him at McDonald's! (There are many paths to awakening!)
He reports that from the minute he walked into McDonald's for a quick lunch, he was miserable. He remembered someone telling him there was sugar in the French fries. He imagined the presence of preservatives in the apple pie. He lamented the preponderance of noisy kids disturbing the whole environment, and on and on and on. He vowed he would never return. But, then, as he sat there in what he called "the smog of my own thoughts," the voice from his Higher Self came through loud and clear. It asked him a profound question that made all the difference...
"What if this were all alright?"
He gasped, "What do you mean...alright?!? This is terrible!" His Higher Self answered...
"What if nothing around you holds any power to make you unhappy?"
What a concept! What a breakthrough! All of a sudden, Alan Cohen saw everything with new eyes. He looked at the boisterous kids and decided their laughter and shouts reflected their joy. What's wrong with a little joy in the middle of the afternoon? He decided a little sugar and preservatives wasn't going to affect his ability to love. He decided that everything that was previously annoying him was totally alright. He said...
"Something happened to me when I let it all be OK. I felt relief. My heart opened. I was at peace. I had found the answer to being there. I had found the answer to all of life. Just let it be."
With this realization, he got in line for some more French fries and apple pie, which, he concluded, was what they serve in heaven! And he basked in the wonder of letting it all be alright.
After I read Alan Cohen's story, I thought about all the little things in my life that I was constantly obsessing about...getting the right table in the restaurant, the weather, the stock market, the traffic, points of view that were different from mine, other people's behavior, getting everywhere on time. And so on. What a struggle!
What if any table I got was OK? What if the weather was perfect exactly as it was? What if the delays in traffic were just part of the scene? What if other people's opinion had nothing to do with my happiness? What if life would go on joyfully even if I arrived at an appointment a little bit late? What if all that little stuff was OK? What a freedom! Then I would be "wearing the world just as a loose garment" instead of struggling to make it all different than it is.
So much of our struggle with life has to do primarily with minor things in life. The big things often pull forward an incredible sense of power and inner knowing. I had breast cancer many years ago and I handled it beautifully. I made it a triumph instead of a tragedy. By way of contrast, I got a very bad hair perm three weeks before my present marriage. Did I make that a triumph? No way. You would have thought my world was coming to an end. Even after the wedding, I was upset for months until the frizzy hair finally grew out.
Does this make any sense on a Spiritual level? Absolutely not! My Higher Self could care less about my hair. It's hard to believe my Lower Self cared so much, but it did. Had I known what I know today, I would have been in a much better position to say to myself...
Let go. Let peace. Let joy.
I think all of us should paste stickers everywhere we can see them, that say, "What if this were all alright?" It would help to remind us to pull ourselves out of the negativity of our Lower Self and lift us to the freedom of our Higher Self.
So think about the many little things that cause upset in your life. Getting a dent in your new car. Forgetting to buy something at the supermarket. Sitting in the airport for two hours because the plane was delayed. Rain when you had invited people over for a picnic. It's at these times that we really need to take a step back and asked ourselves that profound question..."What if this were all alright?" Yes, we do what we can to change what is not working in our life, but for those many little things we can't control, letting go, letting peace and letting joy is the heavenly way to go.
As an exercise, I suggest you write down all of the situations in your life that are causing you struggle and ask yourself the same question about each situation..."What if this were all alright?" Each time you ask this question, take a deep breath and relax. You will experience a momentary feeling of peace. Do this over and over again until just the asking of the question is associated with a deep breath and a feeling of relaxation. And as you go through each day, notice where you are trying to control everything around you. Add it to your list and keep asking yourself the question, "What if this were all alright?"
If you think about it, what I am talking about here is simply a shift in focus. Why do we always look at what's missing instead of what's there? Why do we always look at the bad, instead of the good? Why do we always focus on the ugliness instead of the beauty? When we focus on what's missing, or what's bad, or what's ugly, we are operating from the level of the Lower Self. Why not rise above the Lower Self and see what the world looks like from the Higher Self?
We can create this shift in focus in all areas of our life that bring us upset. The truth is that blessings surround us all the time. That shift in focus isn't a delusion. In fact...
We are deluding ourselves when we focus on the bad!
Read that again! So when that lousy table comes up and there are no others available, you say to yourself, "Yes the table may be lousy, but look at all that is wonderful in this situation. How blessed I am!" Indeed, when life is seen in this way, we are a step farther in conquering our control addictions and there is very little that can take away our peace of mind.
I know it takes a lot of practice to reach a "let go" state of mind, but the one thing I can assure you is...I'll be practicing right along with you!
From my heart to yours,
Susan Jeffers
Copyright © 2012 Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
Adapted from End the Struggle and Dance with Life
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